


We Will Find a Way

by WriteByNight



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Architect Derek Hale, Companion Piece, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Mpreg, Derek is a Good Alpha, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Braeden/Derek Hale, Eventual Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, F/M, IVF, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Outtakes, Pregnancy, Protective Derek, Rich Derek Hale, Slow Build, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Triggers, Werewolf Senses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:43:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 57,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5673106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteByNight/pseuds/WriteByNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion fic to "Through the Dark", showing the other side of the situations that Stiles isn't around for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. June 2, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place 3 months before Derek and Stiles meet.

##### June 2, 2015

Braeden paced around the bedroom, flipping a knife in her hand while she walked. She could feel her boyfriend's concerned eyes following her every step and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand to be watched so carefully and blatantly. Being stared at usually meant something had gone wrong and her cover had been blown, so it set off every alarm in her body. Not to mention, it was beginning to drive her crazy.

“Could you stop staring?” She requested impatiently, wincing as her lower abdominal muscles seized and ached as another cramp moved through her. “You're making me antsy.”

“You're making _me_ antsy.” Derek said softly, his eyes never straying from his agitated girlfriend. “Please sit down and rest.”

“No!” Braeden snapped, flipping her knife once more until the handle was clenched tightly in her hand. It was reflexive to defend herself in stressful environments, though she had no intention of harming her boyfriend. “Sitting down won't do anything for me or for our baby.”

“Well, it might make _you_ feel better, even if it can't do a thing for our child.”

“Our third child, Derek. How many times do you expect me to go through this before you call it quits? Maybe if _you_ were the one who had to let our child bleed from you and know what a complete failure you are for being unable to carry our baby for any longer than a month you would understand how I feel, but until then, I won't feel better. _Nothing_ is going to make me feel better. Sitting down won't help, standing up and pacing doesn't help, but it's better than sitting down and focusing on the baby dying.”

Derek was silent long enough for Braeden to rein in her temper, though it was futile as her boyfriend said, “Maybe if we went back to Dr. Mackey...I could schedule another appointment for us and-”

“I don't want to go back to the damn psychologist, Derek. I want to take a break from this baby business. Three miscarriages adds up to our family not being meant for children.”

“What family?” The werewolf demanded in a quiet, bitter-filled voice. “We're barely a _couple_ at this point, Braeden, let alone a family.”

When she didn't respond, he continued, “Maybe if you weren't so set against marrying me, my wolf would be settled enough to accept our childless union for what it is and be fine with it being just us for a little while longer, but as it is, we're not married, and you refuse to be my fiancée. It's been six years, Braeden. And since having kids is the only thing you'll actually agree to as the only thing to solidify the bond between us, I won't apologize for not giving up having them as easily as you'd like.”

Braeden felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as the enraged alpha took deep, heaving breaths before saying, “It's like you don't even want to be together anymore.”

When she remained silent, he scoffed bitterly, “Is that it? You don't want to be my girlfriend anymore? After months of dating, three months courting you, years of planning and building this house, putting up with your insane career and giving you all I have to give to another person and three dead children – that's it? You're just done?” His eyes flashed red before fading back to green as he took deep breaths and regained control of his shift.

Braeden inhaled sharply as another cramp took over, more intense than any she'd experienced within the last couple of days. “Fuck you, Derek.” She tried not to limp as she strode across the room and walked into the attached master bathroom, slamming the door shut loudly behind her and wrenching the lock into place.

She winced as she walked toward the tub and started running the hot water before ripping her clothes from her body. By the time she'd unclothed, the bath was full enough for her to get in and she sank into the welcoming warm water, skimming her hand over the surface as the bath steamed up.

Another intense pain shot through her and clenched her eyes shut and bit her lip to stifle a whimper at the sheer agony. Once the cramp eased and she had regained her breath, she blinked blearily, tears clinging to her eyelashes as she stared down at her lap.

She gasped and couldn't hold back a sob. The water between her thighs was dark red, spreading through the tub as the blood mixed with the rest of the water and faded a few shades until it was light red.

“Braeden? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Derek was pounding at the bathroom door and rattling the doorknob, growling as he became more stressed. “I smell blood. Braeden?”

“Leave me alone!” She shrieked.

She leaned over to pull the stopper out of the tub and stood up, her legs trembling as she watched the red water drain lethargically from the tub. “Leave me alone! I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to go through this anymore. I can't!”

“Braeden, please let me in.”

“No, just leave me alone, Derek!”

Braeden stood in the tub as the water flowed around her ankles and toward the drain. Tears streaked down her cheeks as her chest shook with huge, gasping breaths. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't. She'd fall apart if she lost one more baby. And with three miscarriages, the stress on the next pregnancy could condemn the child even if it were otherwise healthy. She just couldn't take the risk.

But not having children would be Derek's last straw and despite not wanting to mate before she'd even established herself in her career, she didn't want to lose him. She loved him too much to not be with him. But he apparently didn't love her without asking for all these sacrifices for him.

**XXXXXX**

Braeden sat at the edge of the couch, staring blankly ahead of her and actively ignored her boyfriend next to her. For the past hour, they'd discussed their options and Derek was trying in vain to get her to quit her job, but she refused.

She wasn't the type to sit at home and keep the house tidy and watch after children day in and day out. She wanted to have a career and she loved being a U.S. Marshall, but another career offer had come up, one she didn't dare inform Derek about because she knew how he'd react and she didn't want to listen to him preach about the fragility of the human body, especially when compared to his werewolf strength. It hadn't mattered to those expressing interest in her; they wanted her despite being human, just for her skill alone. She wanted to consider the offer before she gave her final response. It'd do no good for Derek nor herself if she brought it up, so she kept it to herself for the time being. She had to focus on the current issue instead of bringing up more problems.

“I'm not saying I don't want kids at some point, Derek. Just maybe hold off for awhile? And I need to get away from all of...this.” She gestured toward him with her hand. “It's too much and it's stressing me out. I want to go back to work, go on more missions and prove myself to the team so I can lead my own one day.”

“You know how I feel about you risking your life.”

“Yes, but not needlessly. I'm not lacking self-preservation, I'm just more courageous than most people.”

Derek sighed and scratched his beard as he thought. “What if we use your eggs and get a surrogate? Then she could carry the baby and you could work and the baby would still be ours. It's a win-win situation.” He frowned for a moment, “Not counting that you wouldn't be here very often and that we need a surrogate at all.”

Braeden thought about it, weighing their options. “I don't know, isn't surrogacy expensive? Especially since it'd involve IVF, too. The pregnancy will be high risk, just like this one.”

Derek rolled his eyes, “It's not like we don't have the money.” He sighed, “Plus, this is about our _baby_. I'm willing to pay whatever it takes for us to have our child.”

Braeden glanced at her boyfriend and noted the determination in his eyes and the way his jaw was clicked into place as if he were waiting for her to shoot down this idea as well.

She considered having a surrogate. She'd be able to do her job, get away from the stress and disappointment that Derek wore like a favorite jacket, and they'd have a child by the end of it. It really was an ideal situation and would give Derek the kid he'd always wanted, as well as strengthen the bond between them so he no longer questioned their relationship.

However, what if the kid caused a rift between them? What if she remained broken and bitter about the babies she'd lost versus the one that survived from another woman's womb? What if the kid was the final straw and split her and Derek up rather than bring them together?

She heaved out a deep sigh as a new thought occurred to her. Derek was pretty picky with who he associated with. Outside of herself, his pack, sister and trusted clients, he really kept to himself. Sending him on a task to find a surrogate would be nearly impossible with his standards.

“Fine, we'll get a surrogate. But you have to find them and pick them, and they have to get pregnant before new years day, or the deal is over and you're letting the kid subject drop.”

Derek's eyes lit up and he moved from his side of the couch to right next to her, cupped her cheek gently as he tilted her head back and brought her lips toward his.

Braeden smiled into the kiss. It'd been so long since they had been romantically involved without striving toward having a child that she'd almost forgotten what kissing for the sake of kissing felt like, especially one as deep and sensual as the one she and Derek were currently sharing.

“Thank you, Braeden.” Derek breathed against her lips as he pulled back, his green eyes shining with gratitude. “Thank you so much.”

“You're welcome,” She returned his smile before narrowing her eyes. “But if you don't find someone or they don't get pregnant before new years, that's it. We're done with kids for awhile.”

“That's fine.” His eyes searched her's, “Are you sure you don't want a say in who our surrogate is?”

Braeden shook her head and glanced toward her stomach as it cramped slightly. “No, I trust your judgment.”

“Thank you, Braeden. I can't tell you what this means to me.”

The woman's heart clenched a little at the raw honesty in the werewolf's voice, but she didn't break down. “It means just as much to me, Derek.”


	2. September 12, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in chapter 2 of "Through the Dark"

##### Saturday, September 12, 2015

Derek no longer looked forward to going to the Northern California Center for Reproductive Health. After several failed attempts at meeting possible surrogates, he stopped getting his hopes up. It'd be so much easier if he were just hiring someone to do a job, like a lawyer, that he didn't really care about or know anything in regards to their personal life or what kind of person they were, so long as they won the case, it didn't matter.

Picking a surrogate was nowhere near as easy as hiring just anyone.

For one, their smell immediately put him off. Why women had to cloak themselves in an ungodly amount of perfume never made sense to him, but he could barely handle five minutes around them before dismissing them with watering eyes. The artificial scents gave him immediate headaches, which was quite an achievement since he had werewolf healing abilities. Those that didn't wear perfume didn't mesh well with him, either. He could practically smell their greed.

Those particular prospective surrogates were just too over-eager and he could tell they were just in for the job to get money. The way they heartily agreed to every stipulation right off the bat was his first clue, the second being how they were so sure they were the best choice for him.

The fact that he was a werewolf caused problems for others. Some left because he was a werewolf, which was fine, though it annoyed him that people were still so speciesist. Others claimed that being pregnant with a werewolf's child wouldn't bother them at all, but couldn't disguise the uptick of their heart that gave away their true feelings.

So far, he'd found something wrong with every single potential surrogate he'd met and he doubted the woman he'd meet today would be any different.

Derek exited the Camaro with a sigh, and locked it behind him as he walked toward the double glass doors of the building. He caught the door before it fell shut behind a young man in khakis and a polo shirt, rocking the classic 'prep' look the popular kids wore when he was in high school.

The werewolf didn't even need to focus his hearing to catch the brunette muttering under his breath, “This is why you're single.”

Derek couldn't help himself from responding. “Because you talk to yourself?”

The young man yelped and several people past the set of double doors stirred at the noise and stared at them, but Derek forgot about them as the brunette turned around.

Large, doe-ish, amber colored eyes were the first thing he took note of and the unique coloring wasn't at all what he'd expected. He quickly glanced over the rest of the shorter male's face, taking in the fair skin, faux-sex hair, perfectly straight, slender nose, thin, light pink lips and the moles riddling the sides of his face and neck. He couldn't help but wonder how much more of the pale flesh was sprinkled with moles.

He inhaled and his nose twitched as he caught the male's scent and his eyes narrowed as he examined the human closely. He smelled human, but had a mixture of other scents coating him like a particularly powerful cologne. Including a scent that was very familiar to Derek. The human smelled like pack. Like _home_ , but he didn't understand why.

“You smell-” He began to say, but the guy cut him off before he could finish.

“Gee, thanks.” The human said, sounding miffed as he began to walk further into the lobby and away from Derek. He glanced around, as if unsure of his surroundings.

“No, I didn't mean it in a bad way,” Derek tried to explain himself, “You didn't let me finish. You smell like a werewolf, but I can tell you're a human and unmated.”

“Good for you, Sherlock.” The man said with a wince.

Derek couldn't hold back the growl that began deep in his chest and the sound seemed to resonate in the human in front of him as his head tilted to the side. Derek barely registered his own actions as he practically pressed his body against the smaller male's and ran his nose over the smooth skin of the human's neck, ignoring the goosebumps that grazed his nose. He did catch the alluring scent of the human's arousal, though.

“Why do you smell like my pack?” He said it a little more harshly than he'd meant to, but the thought of a stranger smelling so...right... was very off-putting.

The brunette spun around to face him and looked confused and slightly annoyed, “What? I don't! I smell like _my_ pack.”

“You do.” Derek agreed with a nod. He caught other werewolf-ish scents that practically masked the scent he'd recognized as his own. “but you also smell like _my_ pack.”

The human shrugged. “I belong to the McCall pack.”

Derek's eyes widened as realization dawned on him as the brunette continued, “Do you know Sc- my alpha? Uh, Alpha McCall?”

Everything clicked into place as he finally pieced together why the smell was so familiar and mixed with his own. His beta was in a courtship with Scott McCall and his human girlfriend, Allison Argent. He'd heard his beta rage on and complain about the other alpha's best friend and only male human member of his pack; the only pack member he'd yet to meet. He couldn't remember his name, but he knew it was weird. Isaac made fun of it when he ran out of things to complain about.

“I'm Alpha Hale,” he said, sticking out his hand toward the young male, which he shook after a second.

“Sorry, Scott, dammit, Alpha McCall, doesn't mention the leaders of other packs.” the doe-eyed male said, sounding apologetic.

Derek raised his eyebrows. “He didn't mention me? But you know Isaac; I can smell him on you.” His eyes narrowed. Had his beta messed around with the human and his anger was just misplaced lust?

The thought of Isaac being intimate with the human in front of him made Derek seethe internally, though he couldn't figure out why. He had no claim at all to the human, other than knowing a mutual party. So why was he so angry?

“I'm Scott's best friend, Stiles Stilinski, and pack member. Human pack member. How do you know Isaac?” _Stiles_ looked a bit concerned, though Derek couldn't figure out why. As far as he knew, Isaac and the human shared a mutual dislike for each other, unless his beta really did have misplaced feelings and Stiles returned the same feelings.

“Are you Isaac's alpha?!” Stiles asked in a loud voice, the pitch reverberating off the walls.

“I am.” He relaxed a bit as he realized Stiles was just protective of his best friend's mate, though why it concerned him, he didn't bother to think about. “I've heard about you, Stiles. I'm Derek.”

The brown eyed male winced. “Knowing Isaac...I'm sure you've heard nothing good about me.”

Derek winked and the young man groaned in response, “Yep, you've only heard shit about me.” The human's heart picked up speed in his chest and caused Derek to smirk internally as Stiles blurted, “I swear it's all lies, Isaac and I don't really get along.”

“Oh really?” He couldn't help but ask, raising an eyebrow. “So you're _not_ a sarcastic, clumsy little shit that starts pointless fights and arguments because you're jealous of your alpha's relationship with his partners? You don't storm off and give your friends the cold shoulder because you're offended and jealous and refuse to accept an apology until they're groveling at your feet?”

“No!” Stiles hissed through gritted teeth, sounding pissed off. The human's face flushed red. “Don't get me wrong, I am sarcastic and a little clumsy and I do fight with Isaac because sometimes I feel like Scott will bail on me to be with his partners, but I'm not jealous of Isaac, just of the amount of time Scott spends with them instead of hanging out with me. And I don't give him the cold shoulder, I have ADD and become hyper-absorbed in what I'm doing and I block out everything else until I'm done. God, I'm going to wring his neck with those goddamned scarves of his!”

Derek laughed loudly and quickly stifled himself as his laughter echoed around the empty, tiled hall. “He wasn't lying about one thing, though.”

“What's that?” the human asked through clenched teeth.

“You're annoyingly cute when you're angry.”

Stiles' heart noticeably skipped a beat and the werewolf could barely hide a smirk at the reaction, though his smirk faded when he realized that he'd basically flirted with the young man. What was wrong with him?

“I-uh, thanks.”

Derek couldn't help himself as he flashed a smile at the young man before winking. “You're welcome.” He looked around and remembered what he was doing here, and why Stiles would even be at the reproductive center and looked the shorter male in the eyes before asking, “So, what brings you here, Stiles?”

The man in question flushed red and Derek scented a substantial amount of embarrassment rolling off the human in waves. Then he remembered that Stiles wasn't just a human, but a spark and that he'd been born with a fully functioning reproductive system.

He leaned in close to the human and whispered, “Are you trying to conceive?”

“WHA- no!” Stiles spluttered, blushing dark red. “What the hell gave you that idea?!”

The werewolf studied him inquisitively and gestured toward the hall they were in. “We're at a fertility clinic. And you're a spark and have PMDS, don't you?” He frowned before muttering, “I swear Isaac told me you were a spark and were born with a fully functioning female reproductive organs.”

The already fair skinned male blanched and turned an alarming shade of white as all color drained from his face, save for his light pink lips and panic-stricken light brown eyes. The human's heart rate accelerated quickly and Derek wondered if he was about to have a panic attack.

He raised his hands toward the male, but lowered them after a few seconds, deciding to just keep a close eye on the young man and intervene if he lashed out or collapsed, though he seemed to be slowly calming down with every passing second.

Stiles' face flushed and Derek tracked the human's heart rate as it continued to beat erratically as he whispered, “Look, I don't know how Isaac found out that I have PMDS, but I don't go around broadcasting it and I'd like you to forget about it.”

Derek ignored the human's request and couldn't stop himself from asking, “Then what're you doing here if you're not trying to conceive?”

The human rolled his eyes and said, “Not that it's any of your business, but I am still a male.” Derek's pulse sped up when Stiles cupped his own crotch and gave a small hip thrust toward the alpha werewolf. “I'm here to make a little cash and donate sperm, as I'm sure your best buddy Isaac blabbed.”

Derek shook his head. “Isaac didn't tell me that. He didn't mention you'd be here at all, in case you're wondering.”

“I wasn't.” The alpha's eyes narrowed when Stiles' heart rate spiked at the lie.

“Actually, I'm going to be late for my appointment, so, it was nice meeting you, Alpha Hale.” Stiles bowed to the male before straightening and took long strides away from him as he headed toward the stairs. “Bye!” he called over his shoulder, seeming keen to get away from the alpha.

Derek stared at the door through which the young man had disappeared through and inhaled deeply as he tried to commit the human's scent to memory before it disappeared. It was nearly intoxicating. He had never come across someone that smelled like his own pack, but with little hints of themselves. He was also confused why the scent of his pack was so strong on the brunette, since Isaac and Stiles didn't get along and they shared a mutual animosity toward one another. There was, of course, the scent of Scott, and had Derek not reacted to his own scent on a stranger, he probably would've detected it sooner.

There there were a bunch of other scents that just seemed to be Stiles' natural scent. It was clean, a little salty, though he wasn't sure if it was from sweat, arousal or a mixture of both. He could smell the 'odorless' shampoo, body wash and deodorant, as well as the hair gel and a bunch of other scents he couldn't pinpoint without being close enough to scent-mark the man himself.

He realized if he stood in the lobby for much longer, someone was bound to see him and report him as 'suspicious', so he began making his way toward the elevator, pressing the button to call the lift. It arrived with a cheerful ' _ding!_ ' and he entered, pressing the button for the second floor before leaning against the wall and mentally rehashed his encounter with the McCall pack's human male.

Of all the rants Isaac had gone on about the human spark and all the tirades and bitter, petty remarks that had spewed from his beta's mouth, not once had he mentioned how good looking the human was, how pretty his eyes were nor how intoxicating his scent was.

He'd heard about Stiles' “stupid mole-y face” and “borderline pornographic noises when he eats” and the way the man had trouble with drinking straws. Isaac had complained enough about Stiles for Derek to dislike the man without meeting him, but now that he had, he realized his beta's complaints really were like those of a petty second grader who felt shadowed by his best friend's best friend.

Derek shook his head and glared at the elevator doors in front of him. He shouldn't have even thought of the male like that. He was with Braeden. His intelligent, gorgeous, lethal girlfriend with whom he was trying to start a family. Despite all of their miscommunication, the distance between them and the miscarriages they'd suffered, he knew they could work it out and be just as strong as they were before they began to attempt having children.

So why did his mind keep pulling up images of whiskey-colored eyes, thin, pink lips, a strong jaw dotted with moles and pale flesh accompanied with a light red flush?

The elevator slowed to a stop with another ' _ding_ ' and he stepped out. He began walking the familiar path toward the office where he met with prospective surrogates. He tried to focus on the meeting he had ahead of him, but he couldn't get Stiles' scent out of his mind.

The human's scent must be some form of aphrodisiac because Derek's cock twitched within the confines of his jeans and he nearly stumbled in surprise. He rarely reacted to any sort of stimulation anymore and suddenly his dick was up and rising to attention without so much as a teasing touch?

What the hell?

“Mr. Hale!” A cheerful voice called and he winced at the pitch.

No matter how often he met with the woman, she seemed to forget he had sensitive hearing, and therefore neglected to lower her voice to accommodate his preferences.

“Hello, Ms. Nichols.” He said politely as he followed the woman into her office, smiling kindly at the redheaded woman occupying one of the chairs in front of the desk.

“I was just coming to check to see if you'd canceled our meeting,” Ms. Nichols said in a false chipper tone. “Miss Abernathy and I were getting worried.”

“I'm sorry.” Derek apologized as he sat down, not feeling a bit sorry at all. “I ran into someone in the lobby.”

Derek schooled his face as he felt the red-headed woman next to him blatantly checking him out. The sensation of her eyes roaming his body caused his hackles to rise and immediately killed his half-hard boner. From the corner of his eye he could see the skintight, dark wash skinny jeans, high heeled ankle boots, sequined low cut top and the long, leather raincoat that completed her outfit. She was pretty, but looks didn't matter when choosing a surrogate. Medical history, fertility, past pregnancies and births were what really mattered.

Though, since he was a werewolf, he refused to deal with any bigots. Also, he dismissed them on smell alone. He couldn't even get a read on the woman's scent, since she it smelt like she'd doused herself in perfume that was about as tantalizing as battery acid and kerosene. The scents he could pick up through the perfume were just the smell of her bath soaps and hairspray. Everything about the woman screamed artificial and sent up red flags to his wolf.

If Ms. Nichols were any good at her job, she would've found him a surrogate already instead of calling him back time and time again to meet women he'd only end up turning down. He was tired of going home feeling angry, disappointed and desperate. He wished the woman's pay was based on performance rather than by each meeting he scheduled. She could retire comfortably on the amount of failed meetings he had suffered through.

The specialist waved her hand dismissively as she took a seat behind her desk, studying the werewolf and his potential surrogate from across the desk. “Don't worry about it, dear. Let's just get started, shall we?”

She looked at the files opened on her desk and gestured toward the woman next to the werewolf, “Mr. Hale, this is Hailey Abernathy, your potential surrogate. Miss Abernathy, this is Derek Hale. He and his partner are looking for a surrogate to carry their child, as I'm sure you're aware,” They shook hands as she continued, “As you both know, we're here because Miss Abernathy's profile seemed to match the qualifications and specifics you and your partner outlined in your contract.”

“I'm sorry to interrupt, Ms. Nichols,” Miss Abernathy spoke up, “but...partner?”

“Yes, Mr. Hale an-”

Derek frowned deeply and interrupted the woman, “Yes, my partner. Is there a problem?”

“I'm not sure I want my child to be raised by two men.”

The alpha couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Did this woman not understand how surrogacy worked? “The child wouldn't be _yours_. The child will be my partner's and my own child.”

“You need a woman to make a union work successfully!” the red-headed woman snapped indignantly.

Derek stood up abruptly and announced, “We're done here. I don't believe this is going to work at all.” He strode from the room, ignoring Ms. Nichols calling indignantly for him to return. Derek took deep, even breaths to keep himself in check and prevent a shift.

Despite the fact that he and Braeden were together and there would be a woman in their child's life, that red-headed woman just rubbed him the wrong way. Especially considering he was bisexual and had been with both men and women in the past. The fact the woman thought the child would be 'her's' despite the fact they would be created from Braeden's eggs and Derek's sperm just made it even more clear that Miss Abernathy wasn't fit to be a suitable surrogate for him or Braeden.

He walked into the receptionist's office and grabbed a pamphlet that had the names of all the fertility specialists that were contracted through the clinic and walked out scanning the little booklet. He tried to pick one that looked like they wouldn't set him up with a surrogate who was only in it for the money. They also couldn't be homophobic, speciesist nor a flight risk.

Derek was nearing the end of the hall when he caught a familiar scent that nearly forced him to shift, but he fought it. His control nearly broke when he heard a loud outburst and the squeaking of shoes followed by a dull thud.

The bearded man rounded the corner and saw a man pulling Stiles to his feet. Derek barely restrained his eyes from flashing red when he caught the smell of blood.

“Stiles?” the alpha asked carefully, trying not to be too loud since the male had hit his head, but loud enough so the human could hear him through his foggy mind.

The young man seemed dazed as he reached blindly, his eyes open, but glassy and unfocused. It made Derek feel more than a little uncomfortable to see the human look like an incredibly lifelike doll. He stepped closer and allowed Stiles to drag his large, thin pale hand up his body, from his abs to his chest before settling against his pecs. When Stiles' knees began to quiver, Derek wrapped his hands around the brunette's upper arms, keeping the Stiles' biceps in a gentle, but firm hold.

“Do you want us to find a doctor?” A feminine voice questioned, none too softly. The pitch made both Derek and Stiles wince.

“No, that's all right, I've got him.” The alpha answered as politely as he could and ignored the couple as they walked away, leaving him alone with Stiles.

“Uh, I'm fine.”

Derek growled low in his chest at the lie. He slowly bent over and placed his forearm against the back of Stiles' knees and wrapped his other arm around the male's shoulders before lifting him up bridal style and started walking down the hall.

“Where are we going?” The human's voice was slurred and now that his face was inches below his own, Derek could practically taste Stiles' blood on his own tongue and the more feral part of him yearned to bend his head and lick the blood from his mouth.

The thought mildly repulsed him. He was a werewolf, but he'd never killed anything as a human and had never felt like licking up someone else's blood.

Derek shook his head, horrified by his own thoughts as he answered Stiles. “I'm trying to find a chair for you to sit in until you feel better, but I don't think there is any outside of the waiting rooms.”

The human moaned and raised his hands to his head, digging his fingers into the flesh until they turned white and blinked slowly. “I think I'm starting to feel better. I can walk.”

Derek couldn't help but snort out a laugh before saying, “That's a lie, even if you believe it.” He tightened his grip on Stiles when he squirmed. “Stop it, or I'll drop you and we'll be back at square one.”

“Just set me down, okay? I'll be fine in a few minutes.”

Derek wanted to argue, but he didn't have anything to say that would turn the argument in his favor if he started an argument. He just – he didn't want to put the young man down. At least with Stiles in his arms, Derek felt like he was helping.

With an internal sigh, he stopped and lowered Stiles painstakingly slowly, making sure Stiles could hold himself upright. He doubted the young man could really hold himself up, so he braced his hand on the small of the human's back after he'd settled him on the floor against a wall.

“Where are you hurt?”

Stiles ignored him, furrowing his brows in concentration before he let out a hiss of pain.

“Stiles...” Derek sighed a slight warning edge. Usually, he didn't mind being ignored, since it meant he could observe and keep an eye and ear out for anything, but now was not one of those times.

“I bit my tongue when I fell, Alpha Hale.” the brunette's words were warbled, and Derek could smell the blood on his breath again. “And my vision blacked out.”

“From the pain? Do you want me to take it away?”

The human flashed him a smirk. Derek raised his eyebrows and frowned as he examined Stiles' face closely. The brunette's eyes were still unfocused and blood speckled the corners of his mouth. If he didn't know better, he'd think Stiles had lost a drunken bar fight.

“Why, Alpha Hale, are you offering to kiss it better?” The way Stiles smiled and then leered at him, giving the werewolf a once over did things to him that Derek thought he mastered control over years ago.

Derek was no longer a hormonal werewolf that could grow stiff on scent alone nor did he hump himself through several orgasms just to take the edge off so he could focus. He'd stopped doing that when he was seventeen, which was even a bit late for werewolves to finish hitting their maturity.

Derek had been hit on by lots of people throughout his life since he was a teenager. He rarely had a problem controlling himself around them, no matter what he felt for them. So how could Stiles, a human he barely knew, elicit such a reaction in him?

He had to focus to keep his voice level as he tried to remind himself that he wasn't the single, emotionally unstable, hormone-driven teenage boy he use to be. “No, Stiles, I'm happily in a relationship. I was offering to take your pain away using my healing powers, not my mouth.”

Stiles' heart thumped erratically and it made Derek more than a little curious to find out what had caused such a reaction.

“Shame. Your mate's a lucky guy.” The disappointment dripped off his every word and caused the werewolf's stomach to twist uncomfortably, but Derek tried to push it away through will alone.

He rolled his eyes with a sigh, “Woman, and we're not mated, yet.”

“Is that possible? I thought being mates was the whole point. It's why Scott had to clear it with you about forming a bond with Isaac, right?”

“That's different, Scott, Isaac and Allison are entering a mateship so they will all be bonded. My girlfriend and I aren't-” Derek cut himself off and huffed in aggravation. “Forget it. Are you feeling better yet?”

Stiles nodded slowly and rubbed at his eyes, before speaking up, “Yeah, thanks.” He nervously ran his hand through his hair. “Sorry about the questions. I was just curious.”

Derek felt his lips twitch and gave away the barest hint of a smile. “It's alright. Isaac's told me about all of your invasive questioning.” He winked and grinned openly, “That'll come in handy when you graduate, huh, Detective Stilinski?”

“No offense, but I hope you're not too fond of Isaac because I'll be murdering him as soon as I get home.”

Derek laughed quietly and shook his head. “I am a little fond of him, actually. He was the first one I turned and he's a great, loyal beta.”

Stiles rolled his eyes, “He might be a great beta and a wonderful boyfriend, but he's a total dick. We don't get along at all.” The brunette glared and pointed a finger him. “And it's your fault I have to put up with him! You could've told Scott 'no' when he asked permission to bond with him!”

“Isaac deserves to be happy, Stiles. He didn't have the best childhood.”

“I'm so _sick_ of hearing that, like it's an excuse! My mom died when I was young and my dad threw himself into his work and got drunk whenever he got home. I had to wash my own clothes, cook for myself and my dad and make sure he didn't drink himself to death and do you see me playing the 'rough childhood' card? No! You accept it and move on. So what if my dad didn't hit me? It hurt just as bad that he wouldn't look at me for months after my mom died because I reminded him of her, but I don't go around acting like my past gives me a right to be a douche to people.”

Derek had to school his reactions. Not once had Isaac ever told him what Stiles' childhood was like, and Scott nor Allison had ever shared anything either. They usually stuck up for Stiles whenever they were around for Isaac's favorite pastime of Stiles-bashing, but they never really went into specifics about the man, unless they were prompted, which they rarely were as it made the pack uncomfortable to hear Isaac's verbal assaults and Scott and Allison's hasty adulation.

Derek's silence must have seemed apathetic and set off the human because he snapped, “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno! Just stop; it's pissing me off.”

Derek decided maybe it was time to get Stiles home so he could rest. He pulled out his phone and began tapping a group text to Scott, Allison and Isaac, informing them that Stiles had hit his head and needed someone to drive him home. “You shouldn't be driving when your eyesight was impaired for as long as it was.”

The sarcastic young male rolled his eyes, “I'm fine, Derek, you don't need to call Uber or anything. I can drive.”

“You _shouldn't_ drive right now. You'd be a danger to yourself and everyone else on the road.”

It was taking a lot of effort for Derek not to flash his eyes, bare his canines and force the human to submit. He knew he had better control than what he was currently feeling and it unsettled him to be alone around a human for this long, especially one as mouthy and loopy as Stiles.

“Well I'm not forcing Scott to drive me back out here later just so I can pick up my Jeep, Alpha Hale.”

Derek pocketed his phone after receiving a response from Isaac, letting Derek know he and Scott were going to come get the unwilling human. “You won't have to, Scott and Isaac are coming to pick you up and drive you home. Is that acceptable, Emissary Stilinski?”

Stiles wrinkled his nose and shot Derek a look. “I'm not an emissary, what gave you that idea?”

“When Isaac told me you were a spark I naturally assumed you'd taken the part of being the pack's emissary.”

“No, I'm not. I've never worked to further my abilities or find out what being a spark really can do.” Stiles shrugged. “I mean, I can do stupid little stuff, like, breaking a glass cup or mug if it's near me when I'm pissed off, and I've had the trash can shoot across the room just in time for me to throw up my intestines after getting shit-faced, but that's all accidental, I don't mean to do it.”

The human offered Derek a rueful smile, “And I've tried to Matilda my way through it, like, actually focus on moving things with my mind, but I guess being a spark doesn't mean I'm telekinetic.”

Derek shrugged as he thought of the human's explanation. Isaac often alluded that the spark in Stiles was weak and that he barely counted as one, but Derek thought Stiles' experiences added up to those of most undeveloped sparks he knew.

He shook his head and focused on the task at hand as a group of doctors walked by and tugged the human to the side to let them pass them. “We should go wait for Scott and Isaac in the parking lot.”

Stiles nodded and silently followed him down a few hallways to the elevators. Once the doors had shut, Derek felt the need to speak up.

“Having a spark does different things for different people. Some are natural healers, others can control elements, others are able to 'will' things to happen, some can see into the near future and a few can connect to the dead. And some really rare ones are able to do a myriad of things with no rhyme or reason to it. You might fall into that last group.”

Stiles seemed to be thinking it over during the short elevator ride. Derek exited the lift first with Stiles trailing dutifully after him as he led the way down the hallway, out the lobby, through the double set of doors and out of the building.

“Where'd you park?” Stiles asked conversationally as he blinked in the bright sunlight.

Derek pointed to his black Camaro parked by itself near the back of the lot, not too far away from a powder blue Jeep that looked like it'd seen better days.

“And I assume that's your Jeep?” Derek asked as he raised an eyebrow.

The brunette frowned and shot him a look, “Let me guess, Isaac told you about my Jeep?”

Derek nodded with a large grin. “Yeah, I won't repeat what he said, since he mentioned how much you love it.”

“Well, Isaac drives a car that he wouldn't be able to afford if Daddy Argent hadn't adopted him.” Stiles muttered, ignoring the werewolf and headed toward his beloved Jeep.

Derek followed after the young male, but couldn't stand to hear the human insult his beta and snapped, “I asked Chris Argent if he would help me find a nice home for Isaac that would be able to deal with his past abuse and handle him in case he was triggered and wolfed out and Chris offered to foster him and ended up adopting him because he genuinely cares for him. He treats Isaac like his own son and loves him more than his biological father ever did.”

Stiles sighed and his arms flailed wildly, almost smacking the side of Derek's face as he exclaimed, “Can we _not_ talk about Isaac anymore?”

“Fine.” They were silent for a few seconds before Derek asked, “So, how'd the appointment go?”

“Oh my God!”

“What? I changed the subject!”

Stiles pulled out his keys and unlocked the door manually, tugging the handle a couple of times before it opened, which caused the alpha to hide a smile as the man's Jeep refused to cooperate. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“Why not? Did you have performance anxiety?”

“No! I'm perfectly able to get it up! God! I have a harder time keeping it _down_ ,”

Derek couldn't help but laugh as the young male's amber eyes flashed in anger and two bright pink spots rose in the human's cheeks in anger and embarrassment.

“If you must know, I was disqualified because my mother didn't die of old age, I'm only second generation American and I have ADD.” the shorter male sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair. “Plus, I don't look like a Greek God.”

Derek had stopped laughing when the human began his explanation and was irritated by the time he'd finished. “They judge you based on your looks? I understand medical history, although the ancestry one seems like overkill, but they honestly want you to look like a Greek God?”

Stiles nodded with a helpless shrug of his shoulders. “Yeah, if you don't look like Adonis, or Chris Evans, they want nothing to do with you. The minimum height is six feet!” Stiles kicked huffily at at his Jeep's tire and then ran his hand over the hood. “I really needed the money, too. I don't have time for a second job and I can't donate plasma without passing out and even if I _could_ , it wouldn't be often enough to afford anything.”

“Your father can't help you some?” Derek asked, wondering why the human's father wasn't helping his child out. He didn't know if Stiles had siblings, or anything about their financial situation, but he couldn't help feeling like Stiles was on his own.

“He does!” Stiles quickly defended his father. “He sends me gift cards to restaurants and grocery stores and he sometimes sends me cash or a check if he worked a lot of overtime, but I'm not going to go to him begging for money. I may be a college student, but I'm still an adult.”

“I know, I just assumed he'd rather give you more money than know you were broke and unable to buy food or other essentials.”

Derek glanced Stiles over as everything fell into place for him. He couldn't help but smile as he asked, “What if I could help you out?”

The younger male nearly snarled at him, “I'm not a fucking charity case, Alpha Hale.”

“I gathered as much,” Derek said calmly as he wiped some of Stiles' spittle from his cheek. “I meant, what if I paid you in exchange for your services?”

“I'm not a _whore_ , either!”

“I have a serious girlfriend, Stiles! Stop assuming things!”

Stiles threw his arms up in defeat, “It wouldn't be the first time a seemingly straight man paid another man for sex! And if you want me to stop assuming things then stop being cryptic and beating around the bush! Paid in exchange of service for what?”

Derek took a deep breath before letting it out as calmly as he could, “Would you carry my girlfriend and I's baby?”

“You want me to what?!” Stiles hissed, and Derek feared for the human when all color bled from his face.

“Hear me out, alright? My girlfriend is unable to carry and her womb rejects the fetus before it is even viable and I've been searching for a surrogate that's nearby and willing to carry a potential werewolf baby and is understanding of pack protocol, but everyone I've met doesn't mesh or my wolf outright rejects as a potential surrogate.”

Stiles folded his arms over his chest and rested against the side of his Jeep. “Go on.”

This was his chance. All of his and Braeden's problems would be solved if he could convince the handsome, wonderful, human spark in front of him about this mutually beneficial plan.

Derek took a deep breath and glanced over Stiles' face and finally began to speak, unable to keep the desperation from his voice, “When I ran into you in the clinic and caught your scent, I knew you would be the perfect candidate for surrogacy. You're young, fit and you already smell like pack, which initially put me on the defensive, but Isaac isn't the only one who has talked about you. Scott and Allison both told me about you and they told me mostly good things and painted you in a much different light than Isaac had. So, I know of your merits as well, okay?”

“No, not okay! I'm in my last year of college, Derek!” Stiles' voice raised in pitch as he spoke, “I just have to finish this semester and next, then take qualifying exams in the summer and I'm heading for a career in law enforcement. Part of qualifying means passing my firearms exams and weapons training. I can't do that while pregnant! And I don't want to go graduate as big as a blimp!”

“I'll get you an apartment for the duration of your pregnancy that's in equal distance from my home and your school, I'll take care of all the medical bills and anything you would need for the baby and I'll pay you $50,000.” Derek felt that his chances were slipping through his fingers.

The human's jaw dropped in shock and was quiet for awhile before the alpha dared to break the silence, albeit a little hesitatingly, “Stiles, are you alright?”

Derek noticed a familiar vehicle pull into a parking space near them and caught the scent of pack, which both grounded him and made him more nervous that his private conversation was being held so close in earshot next to the nosy werewolves.

“Huh?” The human asked distractedly as he caught sight of his friend.

“Shit, man, you must've hit your head pretty hard,” Scott said as he jogged over to join them.

Derek had to rein in the sudden urge to half-shift and warn Scott away from Stiles, which didn't make any sense at all because Stiles was part of Scott's pack and he'd never had such a reaction to the curly haired half-Hispanic man before.

Stiles didn't seem to notice his inner-battle as he shook his head in confusion. “What? I didn't hit my head.”

Scott walked up to the fair-skinned man and sniffed deeply, holding his breath before exhaling. Both seemed oblivious to Derek struggling to keep calm and remain human.

“Yes, you did. That's why Derek called me and asked me to pick you up and drive you home. He didn't think you'd be well enough to drive.” Scott finally looked over at the other alpha. “And I can see why, if you're experiencing memory loss.”

“No, ugh, I know I fell, I just forgot.” Stiles said, running a hand through his hair. Derek was impressed that the human's heartbeat didn't change, though it was possible Stiles really had forgotten, since Derek's offer may have thrown him through a loop.

Isaac, who had come to stand next to him let out a huff and asked in a condescending tone, “How could you forget that you fell?”

Derek glared at his beta, though his look went ignored. He was going to put a stop to Isaac's rants against Stiles. He had let it go on because he figured it was cathartic for the beta, since he couldn't insult his mates best friend around his mates. However, now that Derek had met Stiles and began to get to know him a bit, he realized just how petty and over-exaggerated all of Isaac's complaints were. Stiles was not even the tiniest percentage of the douche Isaac had made him out to be.

Stiles glanced over at the him and shrugged. “Uh, can you guys give me a sec, I need to discuss something with D- Alpha Hale. We'll be right back.” He bypassed his best friend, ignored Isaac and grabbed Derek's forearm before he began tugging him away, which Derek allowed mostly out of curiosity.

“You do know that they can still hear us, right? You'd have to be a couple of miles away to be out of Scott's hearing range, since he's attuned to your voice.” Derek felt the need to inform the male, not sure if he knew the specifications of an alpha's ability.

“I know, _Alpha Hale_ ,” Stiles snapped snarkily, “I do live with werewolves.”

Derek winced when the human spoke up a little louder, “Derek and I are going for a short ride, we'll be right back, we just need to discuss something in private. Don't follow us because, seriously, we'll be right back.”

Realization dawned on him and he unlocked his car, nodding at Stiles as he slid into the passenger seat. “Where to?”

“Just drive around the block.” The human buckled his seat belt and nudged Derek's arm, nodding toward the safety belt when he started the car without touching his.

“Stiles, I'm a werewolf. Short of my car exploding, I'll heal if I'm in an accident.” He couldn't refrain from rolling his eyes as he tried to rein in his emotions at the lithe male's display of concern for his safety.

“I don't care. Safety first and cops don't care if you're a werewolf or not, it's against the law in every state if you're caught driving without being buckled up.” Stiles folded his arms over his chest, and seemed to be unaware that it made him look like a petulant child. “I'm not talking until you're buckled, Alpha Hale.”

“Oh, for the love of- fine!” Derek snapped before he clumsily fumbled with his buckle. He couldn't remember the last time he'd used the damn thing, though he figured he'd better get into the habit, so he'd be a good example if his future child wasn't a werewolf.

“My mom always told me the car wouldn't start until the people in the car had buckled up.” Stiles said softly and Derek caught his eyes when the young man smiled. “Once, when a friend drove me home from high school, I was really confused because their car had started without them using their seat belt. I figured it was just their car model and went home and Googled it and found out quite a few parents had told their kids that, but that it wasn't true.”

Derek started his car and Stiles reached over to turn on the radio, finding a heavy metal station and turning it up to an atrocious level that made his head throb and the windows shook.

Stiles questioned in a normal voice, “Can you hear me?”

Derek nodded, impressed with Stiles' quick thinking. He could hear the human if he concentrated, even though he was right next to him, so there was no chance Scott or Isaac could overhear them.

He shouted over the music, “I may have to take a leaf from your mom's book with that one and tell my future kids that. Though I'm not sure I want them as gullible as you!”

Stiles shook his head and gestured for Derek to drive before replying, “I wasn't gullible, believe me. I just trusted my mom, as most kids do.”

Derek shot him a smile as he pulled out the parking lot, looking both ways before he entered traffic smoothly and pressed down on the pedal, putting more distance between themselves and the werewolves back in the parking lot.

“So, did you want time to think about my offer?” Derek didn't bother beating around the bush, but tried to allude to what he and Stiles were discussing, since Scott and Isaac would be able to hear him shouting.

Even though there were months to go before the first of January, every day that passed was another day closer to Braeden's cut off date and with IVF being as high-risk as it was, he didn't want to take any chances by waiting until the last minute. Ideally, Stiles would be pregnant by Christmas, that is, if he chose to accept his offer.

Stiles was biting his lip and seemed to be thinking hard, weighing his options.

Derek may have been biased, but he thought his offer was pretty amazing. He'd offered more for Stiles than he would have for any other surrogate, not financially, but overall. He didn't like the thought of Stiles not having a place of his own and the place he currently called home wasn't exactly the best situation for the human to be in. Especially if he were pregnant. He wasn't sure he'd even be able to bear to be so far from the young man, considering the bond that would form between them through the baby.

Asking Stiles to be his surrogate was a huge step in the right direction for Derek. None of the women he'd met with were decent enough for him to even bother considering them. And all this time, the answer to his key to happiness was living in the same apartment as his beta. It seemed perfect. It was fate.

The alpha werewolf glanced over at the fair-skinned man. “What? I couldn't catch that, speak up a little bit.” Derek had caught the human's lips move out of the corner of his eye, but he'd been too quiet for even his advanced hearing to pick up over the heavy metal blaring from the speakers.

This time, Stiles spoke a little louder, “I don't think I'd be able to do it.”

Derek's hopes and dreams were dashed in a single second once he'd registered what the brunette had said. His body seemed to switch to auto-pilot as he slowed the vehicle to a slightly more legal speed and pulled into a parking lot to perform a U-turn. He didn't even blink when Stiles reached over and lowered the volume.

“Are you sure? I'd be willing to pay more.” The alpha almost congratulated himself when his voice didn't break or give away any sign of emotion.

Stiles seemed to choke on his own spit as his eyes met Derek's. “No, no, it's not the money, Derek. I just...it's my senior year, after this, I'm going to be in law enforcement and pulling random shifts, doubles, sleeping any chance I can and drinking Mountain Dew the way people breathe air. I won't be able to go out and party like I can now and I won't be able to get drunk on the weekends. This is my final year to be a typical college student.”

“What's so great about being a typical college student, Stiles?” Derek asked and this time, he couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice. “Gorging on leftover pizza, ramen noodles and Pop-Tarts, too broke to afford only the barest necessities, partying, drunken nights you won't remember, hangovers, one night stands and dealing with shitty room mates? Being a typical college student doesn't seem like all its cracked up to be. You're romanticizing it. Besides, from the way your pack and even Isaac described you, you're anything but typical.”

“I don't know what you're talking about, I'm pretty damn average.” The younger male gestured in the direction of the clinic. “I just got a professional opinion on the matter, in fact.”

Derek shot him a scathing look, “That's not what I meant, and you know it. Don't play dumb, Stiles. Allison told me how smart you are.”

Stiles huffed and slumped back into the leather seat. “I'm sorry, Alpha Hale, but I can't accept your offer.”

The werewolf's grip on the steering wheel tightened as he drove back to the parking lot of the clinic. He knew he should just let it go, but it cut him deeply that Stiles had turned him down. He felt petulant as he replied, “You _can_ accept my offer; you just don't want to.”

“Either way you phrase it, the result is the same!” the brunette snapped, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

They were silent for the rest of the short ride back to the clinic and Derek felt horrible that he had even asked Stiles, and forced him to make such a self-sacrificing choice, but he wouldn't change it if he could.

It had been extremely selfish and incredibly rude to ask a man he'd met that day to put his social life and own wants and needs aside to carry a baby for him. Whether Stiles was the perfect surrogate for him didn't matter when the man didn't want to do it.

Still, a desperate little part of him hoped Stiles would change his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I'm no longer going to write the whole chapter in one point of view, so from now I'm going to do just key scenes. I think you guys will appreciate that a bit more, as well.


	3. Sept. 17-18, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in chapter 3 of "Through the Dark"

##### Thursday, September 17, 2015

Derek perused the shelves in front of him listlessly. His cart was full of items he had needed restocking and he had grabbed most of the groceries for the week, but he was just going through the motions. It'd been five days since he last went to the clinic and he hadn't found a specialist he liked. So far, he'd made no progress in finding a suitable surrogate to carry his and Braeden's baby.

Maybe the werewolf was just upset and feeling pressured, but he felt like everything was falling apart. Braeden rarely replied to his text messages, emails, or returned his voice mails. When she did, the texts were few, fleeting and barely consisted anything more than 'I'm safe, doing well, miss you, love you'.

The rare occasions they did speak to each other on the phone, Braeden either only had a few minutes and Derek would quickly update her about his current work projects and unsuccessful search for a surrogate. Then she would tell him the mission was carried out and she had orders for another one, so it'd be a bit longer before she would see him.

Sometimes they argued over the time and distance between them and other times they'd spend the precious minutes speaking in low tones, telling one another how much they loved and missed each other.

It'd been a long time since they hadn't fought while on the phone. He knew Braeden would have a break at some point today or tomorrow and was hoping to speak with her without arguing. Derek was so sick of arguing.

A familiar smell wafted beneath his nostrils and the werewolf _knew_ he recognized it, but he couldn't put his finger on the source. Derek pushed his cart steadily in front of him as he power-walked down the aisle, heading toward the smell. He wasn't really paying attention to anything short of finding the source of the smell. Nevertheless, the green-eyed man jolted to a halt when he almost rammed his cart into a person as they walked by pushing their own cart. As the person drifted by shouting an empty apology over their shoulder, Derek quickly connected the dots.

“Stiles?”

The brunette he'd almost hit with his cart paused and turned around. Once his eyes met Derek's, the young man's face fell and he looked frustrated.

The alpha couldn't help but be a little amused, as well as cautious about the younger man's reaction. He knew he had pestered Stiles, but had he been _that_ bad? Considering the subject he'd inquired, Derek knew he probably had come across as desperate and pathetic, to proposition Stiles at the clinic within in an hour of meeting the man.

“Oh, hi, Alpha Hale. What brings you here?” As Derek suspected, Stiles seemed less than thrilled to be running into him after their horrible first encounter.

“Uh, shopping?” The alpha gestured toward his loaded cart before settling his eyes on the younger man. “What about you? And you know you can call me Derek, right?”

“I'm shopping, too, obviously,” Stiles said as he rolled his eyes. “And, yeah, okay. Just figured it was disrespectful.”

Derek couldn't stop a smile from crossing his lips and Stiles blushed as his heart skipped a beat. Derek's smile widened and became more genuine. He didn't know why it made him happy to get the young man flustered and hormonal. It wasn't like he didn't know he turned people on, but somehow, it felt like an achievement when it elicited uncontrollable reactions from the fair-skinned, lithe human spark in front of him.

“It's disrespectful if I haven't given you permission to call me by anything else, just like if you were your pack's emissary, it'd be rude for me to call you anything but Emissary Stiles unless you told me otherwise.”

“Ah, well, thanks for the update on pack protocol,” Stiles spoke quickly, sounding stiff and awkward as he threw the alpha a small wave. “It was nice seeing you again, Derek. Bye!”

“Wait, Stiles!” The bearded man called out.

Stiles stopped with a sigh.

“Yes?”

“Have you given any more thought to my offer?” Derek asked, nearly begging and he could've kicked himself. He hadn't meant to proposition the human again, nor sound as desperate as he did.

“I, uh, not really.” Even though Derek had known the answer, it didn't stop his heart from sinking.

He knew he must've looked upset and pathetic when the human tried to cheer him up with a hopeful, “Look, I'm sure you'll find the perfect surrogate soon.”

Derek's jaw clenched and his eyes hardened. “Stiles, my girlfriend and I have been at this for over a year. It's putting a strain on my relationship and this is my last chance. I love her and we both want kids, but she said if it doesn't happen by New Year, then it's just not meant to be.”

“What about what _you_ want?” The brunette asked as he rolled his eyes.

The alpha's heart clenched when he thought of the argument he'd had with Braeden back in June. He knew it was wrong to keep hounding his girlfriend about the topic of children, and it was his fault she'd delivered the ultimatum in the first place, but she just didn't understand.

With Braeden's long, extended absences and their lack of anything legally or supernaturally binding them together, plus the miscarriages, his wolf was howling at him to either mate Braeden or leave her to find a more suitable mate.

After losing three children, he didn't want to put that kind of pressure on her and when she seemed willing to give it one more try, he had decided to cut his losses. If they had a kid, she'd never have to find out that in her quest to further herself in her career and their lack of legal commitment, their relationship had fallen apart and the damage was almost irreparable.

Unless they had a kid.

Derek shook his head as he realized Stiles was still expecting an answer. “I- it's not about what I want, it's more than that when you're in a committed relationship. Braeden's been through so much, I don't want to lose her, too.”

That was as close he was willing to get to the truth. He didn't owe Stiles an explanation, just as Stiles didn't have to be his surrogate.

“Too?”

Derek's jaw tightened and he gave Stiles' a hard look as he debated whether to shut out the man before he got in too deep with the male. They weren't friends, they weren't pack, they were barely more than strangers.

“That's not any of your business, Stiles.”

Stiles nodded and seemed to know better than to press his luck. “Sorry, my dad's a sheriff and I'm naturally inquisitive, that's why I want to be a detective. At least then I'll get paid to be nosy and question people.”

Derek's lips twitched with the barest hint of a smile as Stiles inquired, “You're sure you can't find anyone else before the new year? Is is that hard to find someone you both like?”

The born were' shrugged, “Braeden doesn't really care if she gets along with the surrogate. Work keeps her pretty busy; she's constantly traveling.”

“Must make it hard to maintain a relationship.”

Derek frowned. “We make it work.” He was lucky Stiles wasn't a werewolf, or he would've spotted the lie immediately.

“Uh, that's good. I'm happy for you. The both of you.” Stiles' heartbeat didn't skip, which surprised Derek.

Still, the human seemed to be backtracking, though Derek didn't understand why he'd try to salvage the conversation.

“So, is it really hard finding someone _you_ like?”

Derek nodded and scrubbed his hand over his face. “They seem nice on paper, but when I meet them, they just grate on my nerves or something smells off about them, or they lie during the meeting over stupid stuff or offensive things. Some of them say they're fine carrying a werewolf's child, that could possibly be born a werewolf, but they're lying and only in it for the money. That's what I was doing at the clinic.”

He dipped his head toward Stiles as he continued, “I was meeting another prospective surrogate. Which may have been what pushed me to ask you, even though you weren't actually offering to be anyone's surrogate.”

Stiles smiled gently at him. “Well, I was offering something, it just seems their standards are higher than yours.” He said, teasingly.

“Don't be so hard on yourself, you said they wanted Adonis or an equivalent. You may not be a perfect donor for sperm, but you'd be an excellent surrogate.” Derek glanced away as he suddenly recalled one of Isaac's more common complaints that he heard at least once a month, depending on how often Isaac visited him during Stiles' monthly influx of hormones.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Derek had no intention of sharing his thoughts with the young man, especially since he'd already badgered Stiles plenty.

“Tell me.”

“Forget about it.”

“If you tell me, I'll consider becoming your surrogate.”

Derek whipped around to face the younger male, completely shocked and a little annoyed. “Really? You're being serious?”

Stiles nodded firmly. “I'll think about it a bit more. Why don't you give me your number so when I've decided, I can tell you instead of hoping to run into you somewhere.”

Derek raised a thick eyebrow. “You better use my phone number for professional reasons only. I don't want any drunk texts.”

“Hey!” Stiles protested, offended. “I'm living in my best friend's apartment and sleeping on his couch. If I had money for beer, I'd be halfway to a hangover by now.”

The werewolf chuckled lowly. He noticed immediately when Stiles' face turned pink and he twitched, pulling his hoodie down over his crotch. Arousal flooded his nostrils and Derek breathed deeply through his nose. He'd never smelt something so intoxicating or alluring. It was a scent he could see himself getting addicted to; getting high off of.

Derek gave a small shake of his head and held his breath. He was in a happy, monogamous relationship with Braeden. He shouldn't be reacting so strongly to the young man in front of him.

The bearded male pulled out his phone and asked Stiles for his number and texted him once he finished. “Professional reasons only, Stiles.” He tried to look menacing, but the male's arousal still floated around his lungs and it was nearly enough to intoxicate him.

“Aye, aye, captain alpha werewolf, sir!” Stiles saluted before he continued,“So, what were you thinking about that made you so nervous?”

“I wasn't nervous, I just realized it may be too personal and thought better than to ask you.”

Stiles held his arms wide apart, with his fingers outspread. “Ask away.”

“You sure?” Derek raised his eyebrows. He'd already asked the man enough questions. It was a little absurd that Stiles would be willing to hear any more of his questions.

“I'm sure.” When he hesitated, Stiles scoffed, “Dude, if you have the balls to ask me to be your surrogate hours after meeting me, I hope you have the balls to ask me anything!”

Well, if the male was sure, he wouldn't hold back any longer, “When you found out you have PMDS, why didn't you get your uterus removed? I looked it up after Isaac told me and most cases are found during puberty and everyone got their uterus removed unless it was too dangerous to do so. Why didn't you get yours taken out?”

Stiles chuckled lowly. “Because I'm bisexual and if I end up with a man, I'll be able to have my own children. The so-called “disorder of sexual development” is a blessing to me. And it seemed being a spark furthered the development of my uterus because it formed some kind of connection to my rectum, so I can potentially become pregnant if I ever have unprotected sex with a guy, so, no glove, no Stiles love.”

Derek felt himself flush. “I'm glad it worked out for you.”

“I still can't believe Isaac told you. Hell, I can't believe Scott or Allison told him, because its none of his business, but I really can't believe he told you.”

The alpha couldn't allow the human to place all of the blame on his beta. “Well, uh, I may have coerced him into telling me.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow, a move that reminded Derek of himself. “Oh, really? Do tell.”

“It was probably around the time Scott asked me if he and Allison could enter a mateship with Isaac. Isaac was staying late after a pack meeting and said you were being bitchy because you were on your man-period. I told him to lay off and he told me you really were on your man-period because you have PMDS.” Derek lifted a muscular shoulder in a half-shrug. “So I looked it up and-”

“What? I can tell you're thinking something else. You're becoming easy to read.”

The werewolf shot him a look, but couldn't help feeling a little amused. “I am not easy to read. I have a great poker face.”

“I doubt you even play poker.”

“That's beside the point.”

Stiles groaned and flailed his arms. “What was your other question?”

“Do you really...menstruate?”

Stiles threw back his head and laughed. “Alpha Hale, I expect you to be a bit beyond the stigma that a woman's reproductive cycle is disgusting. I pity your girlfriend if you're unable to go to the store and get her pads, tampons, Midol, chocolate or anything else she asks you to pick up for her during her period!”

Derek held up his hands in mock-surrender. “I do! I even get her flowers sometimes, even though she doesn't really like them and they irritate my senses, I just think it's the romantic thing to do, though she'd rather me leave her alone when she feels like that.”

Stiles nodded, “I can sympathize with that. Sometimes, you just want to be left alone.”

The werewolf stared at him, his mouth open a bit in surprise. “So you do menstruate.”

“Yeah, for about six days a month. And since there isn't “The Pill” for guys who menstruate, I've got nothing to help me out.” He winked. “But I can have sex on my period and not gush blood everywhere, so it has its perks.”

Derek wrinkled his nose as he imagined having a period, “So it comes out of your penis?”

Stiles slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. “Yes, Derek, during my period, I bleed through my penis.”

“That's, uh-”

“Gross?”

“Cool and kind of fascinating, actually.” Derek couldn't help a small smile from forming. It was amazing that Stiles had the ability to carry children and procreate all on his own. A tiny part of him couldn't help but wonder if Stiles could impregnate himself with his own sperm and egg. It'd be illegal and morally wrong, but if his eggs were viable and he was fertile, it seemed possible.

Stiles began to speak and it roused Derek from his thoughts. “Yeah, it kind of is. Cramps suck, but they're not too awful most of the time.” Derek could hear the young man's phone vibrating from his pocket and watched as the male pulled it out and glanced at the screen. “Oops, one sec.”

“Hello?”

Derek's advanced hearing allowed him to hear the voice on the other end of Stiles' call as easily if he'd had answered his own phone on it's lowest volume. “ _Hey, I'm just about finished, are you already up front_?”

“Uh, no. I'm not done yet. I ran into someone. Or rather, they almost ran into me.” Derek rolled his eyes at him and Stiles stuck his tongue out.

“ _Oh, okay. I can wait_.” The voice was distinctly female and sounded familiar, though phones often distorted voices.

“We're just about done, so I'll be there soon.”

“ _Alright! See ya in a bit_!” He recognized that voice, but he wasn't sure when he'd heard it before or why it was familiar.

“Yep, bye.”

Stiles ended the call and turned to Derek, but became wary when their eyes met. “Uh, yes?”

“Are you in a relationship? Is that why you're not interested in being our surrogate?”

It grated Derek to be told no without an explanation. He knew the young man didn't owe him an explanation, but he couldn't understand why Stiles would turn him down when he seemed so hard-pressed for cash and a place to stay when he was unwilling to ask for assistance from his family.

“Uh, no? I could've sworn I told you I'm single.”

“I don't believe it came up.”

Derek was once again thankful that Stiles wasn't a werewolf or else he'd have caught the sound of his heartbeat picking up speed. He had no reason to be _pleased_ with the fact the man was single. Derek wasn't single, so it didn't matter.

“Oh, well,” Stiles winked and pocketed his phone. “I'm single if you're interested.”

Derek rolled his eyes, though he had been thinking along the same lines only seconds before. “Thanks, but no thanks.” Derek glanced at his own phone. “I better finish up here.” He flashed the human spark a small smile. “So, you'll call me once you decide?”

Stiles nodded determinedly. “Yeah, of course.”

“Could you maybe let me know as soon as you're sure? I've got to find one before New Year's and with all the holidays coming up, I'm not sure how great my chances are.” Derek knew his chances of fulfilling his dream for children were small, but he doubted Stiles would consider his dilemma if he knew how low the chances were.

“No problem. I'll call as soon as I know, even if I decide while I'm in the shower, or on the toilet or having sex.”

Derek cringed as the thought of Stiles having sex made his stomach twist, though it had no reason to. He wasn't bonded to Stiles and the young man wasn't his mate. His body had no right to react so much to the fair-skinned spark's actions.

“Maybe not as soon as you figure it out.”

Stiles gave him a smile and nodded. “Yeah, but I'll let you know.” He waved. “See you!”

“Bye, Stiles. Take care of yourself.”

Derek watched the man walk away, heading toward the back of the store, where the chips, beer, and frozen aisles were. Derek had forgotten garbage bags and needed more Swiffer duster refills, so he turned in the opposite direction and walked quickly, trying to put as much distance between himself and Stiles as possible.

The human's scent lingered and seemed to clog his nose since all he could breathe was the smoky, generic soapy smell of Stiles. He turned down the aisle with household cleaner and laundry soap, picking up the garbage bags and the duster refills on his way through. Thankfully, the strong, chemical and artificial scents wafting from the products quickly plunged his airways of all things Stiles.

As he exited the aisle and headed toward the check-out registers, he couldn't help but wish he hadn't purged himself of the human's intoxicating, natural musk. He kind of missed it.

**XXXXXX**

Derek was carrying all of his groceries in his arms, refusing to take his cart to his car just to walk it all the way back to the racks that held the carts. He caught the sound of a loud wolf-whistle and jerked his head to glare at whichever asshole thought they could objectify him in public.

He should've known it'd be Stiles.

“Someone as pretty as you shouldn't be walking around by yourself at night!” Stiles called from two rows over, throwing him a wink.

“I could say the same to you, Stiles!” The words were out of his mouth before he realized he was essentially flirting with the human. He raised a grocery bag in Stiles' direction. “Goodnight!”

“Night!” Stiles replied before walking back to his Jeep.

Derek opened the back seat of his Camaro and settled his groceries into the backseat, settling the orange juice and milk jugs on the floor, so if they spilled, he wouldn't need to worry about the leather on his seats getting ruined.

He caught that familiar female voice he'd heard through Stiles' phone and finally placed it. It was one of Isaac's mates, Allison. The only other human member in Alpha Scott McCall's tiny pack.

He began rustling the bags louder and focused his hearing on small things around him, like his keys jingling from his hand, a child whining from a few cars over and loud, obnoxious teenagers as they strolled toward the grocery store, joking and poking fun at each other along the way. Derek didn't want to listen in on Allison and Stiles' conversation since he rarely heard things he had wanted to whenever he purposely listened in on other peoples conversations.

The alpha shut the back door and rounded the back of the car until he reached the driver's side. He slid into his seat and put the key in the ignition and started the car. He'd just placed his hands on the steering wheel when he recalled Stiles telling him to wear a seat belt.

With a roll of his eyes and a sigh, he pulled the belt across his chest and buckled it into place. He hadn't known the man for a week and already the human was wheedling his way into his life.

What had he gotten himself into when he asked the human to carry his baby?

**XXXXXX**

Derek is surprised to see Aprille's silver Ford Taurus in the driveway when he gets home. The woman usually didn't stay so late to clean. In fact, she was usually done by 2 o'clock, so she could be home when he daughter got off the bus. When she did stay late, it was never past five, so she could be home in time to have with her family.

The werewolf pulled into the garage and killed the engine, got out of his car and punched in the alarm before walking through the doorway and into the kitchen.

“Aprille? Are you okay?” He shouted, his voice hurting his own ears at the volume, but he knew he had to be loud if he wanted the human woman to hear him.

“Yes! I'll be down in a second!”

Derek took a deep breath of relief when he didn't hear the woman's heartbeat shift. She really was okay. Though he still had no idea what she was doing at his house this late.

He stepped back into the garage and unlocked the back door of the Camaro and wrapped the grocery bags around his wrist before shutting the backdoor on the passenger's side with his hip and walked toward the house.

Some people thought it was easy access for burglars to attach a garage to the house. Normally, he'd agree, but with his security system and supernatural powers and abilities, it'd be stupid for anyone to break into his house. However, when bringing in groceries, he appreciated the short trip from the garage into the kitchen. He had the feeling he'd appreciate it more if he was trying to lug a child sleeping peacefully in their car seat into the house, as well.

His heart panged inside his chest and he took a deep, settling breath as he allowed the ache to move through him. Maybe he was crazy for pushing for more children. He'd already lost three and it had destroyed Braeden. He felt the ache of loss every day. After losing most of his family in the fire when he was a teenager, and now, several years later, he lost his own children before he even had the chance to hear their heartbeat, he was wondering if he was doing the right thing.

Braeden didn't want to have kids straight away, either. She wanted to put it off for a little bit longer still. He could understand why, but _she_ wasn't the one who felt a beast inside that whimpered, howled and scratched against her rib cage, demanding to claim their mate or procreate. Braeden accepted Derek was a werewolf and had no problem with it, but her understanding didn't mean she grasped the longing ache inside to settle down and begin building a family.

Derek snorted bitterly. That's what he got when he went and fell in love with an intelligent, stubborn, beautiful, independent woman.

He pulled out his phone and tapped at the screen, hoping she'd text him and he'd just missed it (though it'd be nearly impossible since he had the volume turned up and vibrate enabled and he had supernatural senses). The alpha should've known better than to get his hopes up. He huffed out an angry sigh before pulling up his contacts and stabbing his thumb at his girlfriend's smiling contact ID.

He typed out a quick message, telling her he hoped she was safe and that he wished they'd be able to talk soon before tapping 'send'. Derek shoved his phone back into his pocket before he fell into the cycle of staring at the screen and glancing at the phone every few seconds until he got a response. He knew better by now. If he was lucky, she'd respond sometime tomorrow. If his luck continued at its current rate, it could be anytime within the next week before she'd respond.

The bearded male began pulling groceries from the bags and put them away. He could hear Aprille coming down the stairs and smiled at the doorway when she entered the kitchen.

“I wish you weren't a werewolf, sometimes.” The beautiful Pacific Islander said in a gentle voice with a teasing smile. “It's freaky that you know when I'm coming into the room.”

Derek rolled his eyes and threw the plastic bags in a small hamper he kept in the pantry. “What're you still doing here, Aprille? It's way past your usual hours.”

Aprille shrugged. “Joel had to work late and Lena asked to spend the night at a friend's house. The girl's parents are going through a divorce and Lena and the rest of their friends have been staying at her house or inviting her over so she doesn't feel so alone throughout the process.”

“That's nice of her.” Derek raised an eyebrow at the woman. “Nice of you to let her, too. Considering it's a Thursday night.”

The smaller woman waved her hand at him in dismissal. “I bend the rules sometimes. Lena doesn't have any important assignments or tests tomorrow, so it won't hurt for her to stay over this time.” She gestured toward the werewolf. “And I don't know about you, but when Joel stays late, he usually goes through a drive-thru and grabs something on the way home. I figured you hadn't had dinner and thought we could eat together.”

Derek smiled at the sweet woman. “That sounds perfect. I've been dreaming of your delicious cheddar biscuits for weeks now.”

“Deal! Only if you make some of your garlic and lemon zest chicken.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Derek said as he walked toward the freezer and began to pull out the bag of frozen chicken.

As they prepared their meal, Derek couldn't help but wish this was his typical routine. He wanted to putter around the kitchen, making small talk, telling each other about their day. He wanted to smile and hip-check his significant other as they stood side-by-side at the kitchen isle. He wanted little feet to come running into the kitchen, whining and asking when dinner would be done. He wanted to send those little kids out of the kitchen with a few stalks of celery or pieces of apples to tide them over until dinner was ready. He wanted to share kisses whilst he and his partner cooked their meal.

He just wanted a family.

He had Aprille for tonight, but for every night before and every night after, he'd make dinner alone. He'd serve himself a single plate and pour himself a single glass and settle down to eat the meal by himself. No shared smiles, no exchanged kisses, no pattering feet, grabby hands or begging eyes.

Just Derek. All alone.

His wolf howled in heartbroken agony and Derek froze, swallowing thickly as he ignored the urge to howl along with it.

**XXXXXX**

Derek was looking over the building plans for a house he'd been commissioned to design. The client wanted a place for her large family, as they'd saved up enough money until they could afford their dream house.

It wasn't the first 'dream house' he'd been asked to plan, but building a house with two living rooms, a large kitchen, twelve bedrooms and eight bathrooms, plus a playroom, office, and basement and giving them plenty of storage space without putting closets everywhere.

He was only given so much square footage to work with without compromising the large backyard, but he was running out of footage and thought he'd had to rethink some of the rooms, which meant starting over again.

His phone rang and he considered ignoring it. If it was another client they could leave a voice mail. Even if it was the current client they could leave a voice mail. And after the heart-breaking loneliness Derek had suffered last night once Aprille had gone home, Braeden could wait, too.

By the third ring, his resolve had broken and he reached for the phone. He was surprised to see Stiles' name lighting up his screen. His heart fluttered in his chest, but Derek ignored it.

He picked up the phone and groaned, “Stiles, when I said no drunk texts, I was also implying no calling me when you're hungover.”

The man was silent on the other end of the line and he began to wonder if Stiles had butt-dialed him. However, when he was about to end the call, the man spoke up, “I'm not drunk or hungover, Derek. I'm calling because I've decided.” Stiles paused for a moment before continuing, “I'll be your surrogate.”

Derek was sure his heart had stopped. “Are you sure?” He thought he'd choke on his words, but his voice was strangely airy and breathless. “You don't want more time to decide?”

The werewolf wasn't sure if he was imagining things, but he thought the young man could be smiling as he replied, “Not if you want me pregnant before the new year.”

Derek tried to not let the human's words affect him, but his cock gave a traitorous twitch from the confines of his loose sweat pants. The mental images of impregnating Stiles himself shouldn't have tempted him, but without being mated, or bonded to Braeden, his wolf seemed to think Stiles' offer to carry his child made him a viable substitute.

He shook his head and knew he had to confirm with the man before he got too carried away.

“Stiles, I want you to be sure, I don't want you to feel like you have to or-”

“Derek,” The human interrupted, and this time, Derek was _sure_ he could hear a smile in Stiles' voice, “I want to do this, okay? I've decided and I'm not going to change my mind.”

“O-okay.” Derek cleared his throat. “Well, if you're sure you want to do this, you'll have to submit a drug test, meet up with a reproductive endocrinologist, get an ultrasound and have a blood test done. Then we'll have to draw up a contract, have our lawyers look it over and, once the drug test comes back, we'll get you into an apartment and then begin the IVF treatment.” He took a deep breath. “Are you sure you're ready for all of this?”

“I'm ready. Although, if lots of needles are involved, I may black out or have a panic attack.” The man on the other end of the line sounded determined and Derek began to let hope bloom in his chest.

“Of course there will be needles involved, Stiles. You'll need a shot in the ass daily for about two weeks.” Derek winced.

What if that was a deal-breaker for the human spark? Then Derek would've had a chance, only to have them dashed. He wasn't sure he could handle having his dreams dashed so quickly after he'd allowed himself to believe.

“Oh,” The human replied faintly, “Wonderful.”

“Do you want to rethink this? There's plenty of time to make sure before the new year.” The wolf in Derek growled its objection to his offer, but Derek pushed it aside. This was Stiles' decision and he wouldn't force his hand.

Stiles laughed, “Not from what you said last night. This is crunch time for you. Besides, I read a few IVF blogs and checked out the FAQ section on a few websites, I must've repressed the needle stuff, though.”

“Are you going to be okay? Are you sure you can handle this?” Derek needed him to be positive.

He could hear Stiles clear his throat before replying firmly, “Absolutely, Derek. When do we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know, the main fic won't be updated until this fic catches up to it. Thank you in advance for your patience and understanding!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this and for your inspiring reviews, feedback, comments, kudos and bookmarks.
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	4. September 20, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in chapters 4 and 5 of "Through the Dark".

##### Sunday, September 20, 2015

Derek groaned and rubbed his eyes tiredly. It'd been a long day and he was back to the drawing board with the house he was designing for his client. She hadn't been happy that he didn't have anything to show her, but he knew by the time he finished, she'd be singing his praises, just like the majority of his clients. He didn't offer anything less than his best, and it had earned Derek the reputation of being a hard worker that didn't half-ass any aspect of his job.

He was having a hard time focusing, though. Instead of mentally mapping out floor plans and figuring out where he was going to place the rooms on the main floor for maximum square footage and allow the rooms to seamlessly flow together, he kept thinking about Stiles.

Their meeting the day before hadn't started off the best, with Stiles being a complete klutz and all the flirting, but it hadn't bothered the alpha at the time. However, it was getting to him now. When he was around the younger man, he seemed to forget he was in a committed relationship with Braeden and they were planning to have a child together. He allowed Stiles to flirt, within reason, and even flirted back at times, in his own subtle way.

And that was going to backfire and blow up in his face if he didn't get a handle on it, and soon. He'd made the human sign a watertight contract and basically made the man agree to abstain from all sexual acts until the baby was born. He knew that few couples went that route, but Derek made sure the contract wouldn't allow Stiles any wiggle room. Technically, Stiles could sleep with a werewolf and it wouldn't do anything to hurt the baby (so long as his partner wasn't hung like a horse), but Derek had ruled that out as well, knowing full well that once he shared a bond with Stiles through the baby, he wouldn't be able to deal with another werewolf's scent all over him.

He wasn't exactly happy with Stiles' request to not be paid if the pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage. Especially since he was taking up Stiles' time and the chance of miscarriage was high regarding IVF. Plus, the emotional trauma would probably scar Stiles for awhile. He put it on the back-burner in his mind to find a way to pay Stiles even if the baby was miscarried.

Stiles had seemed impressed with his house, too. And if Derek wasn't lying to himself, Stiles looked like he fit right in. The human seemed more at home in his home than Braeden ever was. Derek knew when he designed the house it wasn't exactly up the U.S. Marshal's alley. She liked the modern look, with expensive black leather couches, a mix of basic square and circular pieces either in red, white or chrome and basic, functional rugs.

However, Derek could never live in a house like that and be expected to call it home. Especially considering they were going to raise kids in the house. To see Stiles marvel at his favorite features of his own home made Derek swell with pride, though he had no reason to. After all, once the young man got pregnant and handed over his and Braeden's baby, the human would walk out of his life and begin his own as a college graduate.

The alpha werewolf ignored the constricting, invisible band that wrapped around his chest. There was no need for him to get hung up on Stiles. Especially when he has Braeden: his intelligent, strong and beautiful other half.

Although, after the day he'd had, Derek felt closer to the lithe male than he'd felt with Braeden for a long time, now.

It had annoyed him how against having kids the human was, though. Stiles seemed adamant that he wouldn't be ready for kids for a long time and the points he had made sense. Living on his friends couch, in his last year of college without a steady income and job security wasn't the most ideal time to bring a child into the world. Which was why he was having Derek and Braeden's kid for them and was holding off on having his own. It made sense, but Derek couldn't help but think Stiles would make a great parent.

The werewolf cringed when he recalled sending the male into a panic attack. That hadn't been his wisest idea, especially since the human had already made his aversion to needles very clear. However, his werewolf did get an ego boost to know Stiles was willing to face his fears in order to provide him with a child. Stiles was very self-sacrificing and Derek had a feeling he was just scratching the surface in the many facets that made up Stiles Stilinski.

When they'd gone to the clinic to get Stiles' blood test and ultrasound, Derek had intended to stay outside of the examination room while the nurse checked Stiles over. However, the rooms weren't soundproof and he caught the hitch in Stiles' breathing and knew the nurse's attempts to calm the man down were going nowhere. His breaking point was the needy, desperate, _scared_ whimper that had escaped the human when the nurse brought out the needle. Derek hadn't thought twice before knocking and barging into the room. He had no idea what made him put Stiles on his lap for the exam, but he couldn't bring himself to regret his decision.

He thought he'd done well when he had Stiles match his breathing and talked to him about getting a milkshake, but once they'd left the room, Stiles' system seemed to crash and Derek hadn't even thought about it before picking the young man up and trying to find a bathroom or a wastebasket for him.

As a werewolf, his nose easily picked up the faintest of scents. To be in a small room with Stiles while he threw up had made Derek gag. However, he'd swallowed the rising bile and breathed through his mouth instead and tried to comfort Stiles by rubbing his back and flushing the toilet when the male was no longer spewing his insides into the porcelain bowl. He had wet a paper towel and cleaned the man off when Stiles had half-assed it the first time.

Derek hadn't taken care of anyone like that in a very long time. Since before the fire, when his family was alive and the little kids had finished dinner and wanted to play a bit before they had to take their baths and get ready for bed. Or when they all came back from their full moon ramblings or even just hanging around outside after school and between dinner. Derek had been amazed at how easily he'd slipped back into the role as caregiver. And when Stiles told him he'd be a great dad, he couldn't help the pleased flush that spread through him. Stiles was going to carry their baby and make him a dad and he couldn't wait, but taking care of the younger man before and during the pregnancy took priority.

After they got called back to the sonograph room to see if Stiles' uterus was even able to sustain life and his womb was able to safely carry a child, Derek had been surprised with how short Stiles was with the sonographer when she assumed they were a couple. He and Stiles had hit it off with each other and were comfortable in each other's presence and did sit closer than platonic friends would, so it was only natural the woman would assume they were a gay couple in which one of them had the miraculous ability to carry a child. Derek had chalked it up to the male having an off day, especially after the needle debacle. And the sonographer had helpfully recommended a doctor that seemed very nice and he had already set up an appointment with her when he got home earlier in the evening.

Derek really wished the man had felt well enough to meet Braeden, but he understood that Stiles had had an exhausting day and couldn't expect him to push forth and meet someone after a panic attack, almost passing out, getting a shot despite his fear of needles and puking. So, he'd bought the man lunch and dropped him off at Scott, Allison and Isaac's apartment.

He'd met up with Braeden later, at the semi-formal restaurant they had agreed upon. It was early enough in the day that he hadn't needed to make a reservation, though he had called to make sure they'd save a table for him if they did get busy.

As usual, Braeden had been standoffish and unwilling to discuss the baby. Derek tried to get her to open up and she insisted she was fine. He had even offered to hold off on trying for another baby and told her he'd terminate the contract with Stiles if she decided she wasn't ready, but she argued that they'd come this far and he already got Stiles checked, so they may as well carry it through.

Derek was at his wit's end. He couldn't understand what had happened to them. They'd been so in love when they first started dating. He proposed earlier than most people would, but he knew Braeden was the one for him and he was in love with her. She had turned him down, but she hadn't wanted to break up if he didn't, of course he wanted to stay with her, so they agreed to stay together. She said she wanted to get more experience with her job before they settled down, so Derek agreed to hold off. A year after that, he asked her to mate with him, and she turned him down for the same reason. By that point, he was tired of living alone in a tiny apartment and since Braeden didn't really use her apartment because she traveled so often, Derek decided to build them a house they could both call home.

He'd never been to Braeden's apartment since she said she didn't have much and most of the things she had were brought along with her on her frequent trips, so the werewolf had had no idea what style his girlfriend preferred and it'd never come up during their day-to-day conversations. However, he knew how important it was for himself to feel safe and to feel like he was protecting his family, so he built his house with safety in mind.

The first thing he'd built was a panic room, which was more like a very large bunker when he realized that if he had his pack members over, he'd need room for them, too, plus his own family. He'd dug deep into the ground and built his bunker in the shape of a honeycomb, with a detached area for generators that also led above ground. The bunker was designed like a B-7 shelter in the classic hexagon-shaped room layout. There was a kitchen area, a dining room, two rooms with two bunk beds in each, so each room could fit 8 people, a tiny portion cut into one of the rooms so there was a communal bathroom with a shower, one room with a master bedroom with it's own storage and bathroom, and another room just for storage and laundry, with a door that led to the generator. The center of the honeycomb was the common living area.

After he'd built and furnished the bunker, Derek began building the home he'd mapped out. He considered it ingenious to give his home a basement, so no one would ever suspect there to be a bunker built thirty feet under his basement. Getting the permits to build the bunker so far into the ground had been pure hell, but he was determined to keep his future family safe, so he persevered. It paid off and Derek was more than happy with the result and the comfort of knowing he could keep his family safe if they were ever trapped inside their own burning home again.

The stairs that led to the bunker were in the kitchen, and he'd built the kitchen island over them. The door was designed to look like an ordinary panel and gave no hint as to what it led to. He didn't tell anyone about the bunker outside of his pack and Braeden and swore them to secrecy. Isaac wasn't allowed to tell Scott or Allison, though if anything happened and they were at his house, they were more than welcome to use the bunker, provided someone was there with them that knew it existed. Once they mated his beta, he'd let them in on the secret, but for now, Derek kept the secret to only those in the pack.

He built the rest of his house with a large family in mind and kept it mostly open-concept, so he'd be able to see the kids from either the living room, dining room or kitchen, since they all flowed into one another. Derek had a family room on the other side of the dining room, and had a bathroom and laundry room on the main floor. He'd knew he'd probably need a live-in nanny, or at least a maid, so he had built a maid's quarters on the ground floor, leaving the basement, second floor and attic for his family.

Derek had split the basement into two parts, with one room having bunk beds and a bathroom in case anyone in his pack spent the night, and the other room he intended to make a playroom for his children. On the second floor was the master bedroom with it's own bathroom, 7 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. The attic was where his office was located and had a large amount of space that he hadn't really found a use for, yet. He figured that he could make some of the space into another bedroom for the older kids if he and Braeden had has many kids as he hoped to have. Or he could turn it into another playroom, but for the older kids, so they could have a place of their own away from the little ones, but not holed up in their own bedroom or limited to one of their siblings rooms. 

The werewolf had even built an attached garage with an apartment built over it, where Laura could stay when she visited, so she had a bit of space to herself, away from all the chaos he was sure his huge family would rouse. And he'd intended on building a porch, but it led to making a mudroom with a shower and storage space shaped like lockers and the excess space stored the lawn furniture during the winter months. He also had an outdoor grill area, picnic table with chairs and a bench, and a fire pit sitting area that Laura helped him design to sink into the ground, so they could block it off with a baby gate so any little children wouldn't get burned.

Derek had been so excited when it was finished and he had been so proud when he revealed it to Braeden and asked her to move in. She'd happily accepted and the werewolf thought everything would fall into place and they'd start to get serious about getting married or mated, but they hadn't. In fact, he didn't really feel like they had moved in together at all. Braeden was still off on missions and spent little short bursts in their shared house, so he was alone in large, empty house more often than not that the place he'd meticulously planned and built still didn't feel like a home.

He had finally brought up kids with Braeden because while she seemed fine with their current arrangement, but Derek was not. He wanted to have a mate, a wife, whatever, and have kids. Braeden wasn't ready to mate or get married, but once he explained that his wolf was eager to rebuild his pack, she agreed they could start trying for a baby.

The werewolf thought it'd be easy. Braeden took time off work and stopped taking her contraceptive pills and mapped out her ovulation cycle and they banged like rabbits. Derek was sure that was all there was to it and he'd been right. Braeden got pregnant straight away and he'd been so blissfully happy that at last, something was going right and his imagined future was being realized.

His happiness hadn't lasted because they lost their baby at eight weeks. Derek was in shock in the beginning and didn't understand where they had gone wrong. Braeden had gotten pregnant easily, Derek, as a werewolf, was naturally made to procreate. Just as quickly as he felt things were coming together, they just as easily fell apart.

They mourned for awhile, dealing with the miscarriage in their own ways before they decided to try again. Braeden got pregnant again just as easily as she had the first time and they were ecstatic. Derek assumed the first miscarriage was a fluke and they'd surely have their baby this time around, but the baby miscarried just three weeks after Braeden had taken the pregnancy test.

After the loss of their second baby, Braeden began to withdraw and started talking about going back to work and putting off starting a family for a little while. However, Derek and his wolf were getting antsy that they'd lost their babies before they had barely begun developing. Derek scheduled them each sessions with a grief counselor named Dr. Mackey and it seemed to help, because Braeden decided to hold off on going back to work so they could try again. This time, they decided to try IVF using their own sperm and eggs, just to see if it was a hormonal problem and hoped the injections and pills would help. Braeden got pregnant as planned and they dared to get their hopes up, but were disappointed once more when she lost the baby at three weeks.

Braeden refused to go back to Dr. Mackey, called her supervisor and was back to work before Derek could process what had happened. He was all alone in his huge house with three children taken from him before they even had a chance to live. He never got to see his girlfriend grow round with their child, never got far enough to decorate or furnish the nursery he had built. He never got to hold any of his children in his arms, hear their heartbeat or their first cry. He hadn't even had the opportunity to kiss them goodbye and give them a proper burial, though he did find his own way to find closure.

Derek loved Braeden. He put up with her highly demanding job because she loved it. He volunteered to stop going into the office so when they finally expanded their family, he could work from home and raise their kids so she could keep working. He dropped the subject of mating and marriage because she wanted to wait. Derek knew Braeden loved him, just as much as he loved her, but couldn't understand _how_ she could love him when the only thing she seemed to care about was her job.

Before Braeden had left, she told him that they could try IVF with a surrogate, using the eggs saved from their round of IVF. She'd left it up to him to find a surrogate and he'd been so relieved when he found Stiles and ecstatic when the man had finally agreed to be their surrogate.

It seemed forever ago, but it had only been days, really. Perhaps it only felt longer because he'd seen the younger man so often recently and measured against the time he spent with most people, he'd seen more of Stiles in a few weeks than he saw most of his pack in a month. He'd tried to explain to Braeden that Stiles was nothing like Isaac complained about and that Scott and Allison hadn't been singing empty praises for months, but Braeden had been less than receptive regarding their surrogate and had changed the subject to her schedule for the foreseeable future.

They'd parted ways after lunch, since Braeden went out with Erica and Derek went home to work on his project for work. He stopped to make dinner and Braeden had joined him, but the silence between them was nearly killing him. He'd been spending most of his human-interaction time with Stiles, who was constantly rambling about his classes, his hobbies and flirting with him that the silence was no longer welcoming, but deafening.

Derek doubted Braeden even noticed his discomfort with their lack of communication, since he usually preferred the quiet, and it didn't sit right with him that the space between them was so small compared to the usual distance that separated them, yet he still couldn't come up with anything to engage his girlfriend in. It was frustrating, but Derek didn't know what he could do to change it.

After dinner they went their separate ways. She had gone to their room to change and relax before bed and Derek went back to his office to work on the commission from his most recent client. Instead, all he'd really done was doodle evergreen trees on a blank corner of the blueprint and reflect on his day.

The werewolf glanced at his watch and sighed when he realized he'd been in his office for two hours and had nothing to show for it. He set down his pencil and scrubbed at his beard with annoyance. He'd be up half the night now, trying to make even a little headway on the project if he wanted to be able to share anything with the client when they called, as he was sure she would, sooner rather than later.

“Derek?” Braeden called, a little bit too loudly considering he had werewolf hearing, from the bottom of the attic steps.

The werewolf clenched his teeth to refrain from snapping in irritation. All during dinner he'd tried to get her to speak and open up, but she had brushed him aside and now that he was trying to do _his_ job she thought it was a good time to talk?

“Yeah?” His voice sounded strangled, as he was trying to restrain himself from coming across as rude. He wasn't sure he was pulling it off.

“Are you coming to bed, babe?” His girlfriend asked as her footsteps sounded on the stairs as she padded up them. The steps didn't even creak, they were so unused.

Suddenly, and for no real reason at all, Derek was angry his steps weren't broken in and didn't creak and moan with even the slightest pressure.

“Der?”

“Maybe in a little bit. I haven't been able to concentrate and I need to get started on this design or the client is going to start asking for part of my commission back.”

Braeden walked up next to him and he couldn't help but admire her beauty. Her dark hair settled over her shoulders, curling at the ends. The tips of the longest strands brushing against the swell of her breasts, which were nestled loosely in a charcoal gray tank top. She wore matching boy shorts and they fit her perfectly, hinting at the outline of her pussy where he could smell the sweet nectar of her arousal.

Derek's anger evaporated. The alpha werewolf growled low in his throat as he stretched out his arms and bent forward until his large hands settled on his girlfriend's slender, but slightly curvy, waist. He pulled her to him and onto his lap as he slouched low in his desk chair so he could thrust his half-hard cock against the swell of her rounded, panty-clad ass.

“Der!” Braeden moaned as she grinded her hips downward, so her clothed pussy grazed the outline of his cock through his jeans and boxers. “I thought you had a rule about messing around in the office?”

The werewolf nodded to himself in agreement as he swiftly stood up, holding Braeden to his chest with one arm wrapped around her waist and the other cupping her ass as she wound her long, smooth legs around his hips.

“Thanks for reminding me. I'll never get any work done up here if I'm constantly inhaling the lingering scent of sex.”

“You can thank me by taking me downstairs and fucking me.” His girlfriend said as she trailed kisses across his jaw. “You need to shave your beard again. It's getting out of control.”

“I thought you liked the manly look?” He asked her while he carried her carefully down the steps, pulling her higher up on his body as her legs dangled low on his waist.

“I do. I love your muscles, voice, the way your eyes get when you're turned on and _this_ especially.” She ground her hips into his.

“But you don't like my beard?” Derek strode across the landing toward their bedroom.

Braeden wrinkled her nose and bent her head toward his neck, nibbling and sucking his earlobe playfully as she whispered, “I don't mind it, but I've got enough to deal with ashy skin. I don't need beard-burn on my face and neck. Moisturizing is a pain in the ass already.”

Derek smirked and threw her back onto the mattress and she landed with a huff near the pillows at the head of the bed. “So it's annoying around your face and neck...but what about between your thighs?” He dove onto the bed and leaded neatly between his girlfriend's legs.

The dark haired woman laughed and protested as Derek gripped her thighs and held them down against the sturdy mattress as he pushed his face against her clothed pussy. Derek inhaled deeply as the scent of her juices flooded his nostrils and could practically _feel_ his pupils dilate with lust. He flattened his tongue and licked a wet strip up the soft satin fabric shielding her hot, wet snatch from his devilish tongue. Derek made sure the panties were soaked with his saliva before he pulled back a bit and blew cool air on the sensitive area.

Braeden's thighs quivered with uncontrollable pleasure as Derek pointed his tongue and licked another strip up her pussy and paused when he reached her clit. He began to suck and lick aggressively at the little bundle of nerves, relishing in the sweet scent of the woman's arousal. He circled the aroused bud and sucked her clit firmly as Braeden's legs shook and she attempted to close them. Derek knew she could throw him off of her if she really wanted to and closing her legs to escape the pleasure he was inflicting on her body was just his girlfriend's natural reaction. Braeden didn't really enjoy having her pussy stimulated orally because she hated dangling on the precipice of orgasm and loathed how quickly she orgasmed whenever Derek ate her out.

The alpha werewolf sat up suddenly and began to pull the breathless woman's boy shorts over her curvy ass and down her long, silky smooth legs, giving Braeden a chance to catch her breath and mentally prepare for the pleasure that would consume her.

Derek was too eager to give her much time to recover as he resumed licking her pussy now unobstructed by thin satin. He inhaled deeply at the sweet, natural citrus scent of Braeden's watery juices that coated her hot pussy. The scent of her arousal kicked his own into hyperdrive.

Derek loosened his pants and pulled his cock out through the opening of his boxers as he could no longer comfortably crouch over his girlfriend's lean, but deceptively muscled body, with his dick as hard as it was. Now that his cock was freed it began steadily weeping precum in relief. Derek resumed his bent position over Braeden; with his thick, muscular legs folded under his ripped torso as he lowered his face until he was nose-to-pussy-lips with his girlfriend's soft, wet and shaven slit.

The werewolf pointed his tongue and circled Braeden's clit, smirking inwardly when she let out a high-pitched keen and her hips rose off the mattress, chasing her boyfriend's tongue. He flicked his tongue against her clit before circling it once more and nibbling it gently with his lips and Braeden's pussy flooded with her sweet nectar. Derek ran his two longest fingers through her slit a few times, coating them with her juices before sliding them both easily into her tight pussy as he lightly blew cool air on her clit.

He alternated between focusing on Braeden's clit and scissoring his fingers inside her, quickly working up to three fingers before he suddenly pulled them out and replaced them with his tongue while his rubbed and flicked her clit with his thumb.

Braeden's chest was heaving and she was covered in a thin sheen of sweat as her hips canted off the bed and toward Derek, desperately begging for more with her body as she moaned and whimpered. Derek picked up the pace with his thumb while he tongue-fucked her pussy slowly. He eagerly swallowed the juices that pooled into his mouth.

The were' speared his tongue and flicked it against her inner walls and traced imaginary, random letters and patterns with his tongue; knowing each passing second brought his gasping, moaning girlfriend closer and closer to orgasm.

When he knew she was close to the edge and about to tumble over the precipice, Derek pulled back and reached for the bedside table and grabbed the lube. He popped the lid and squeezed a decent amount on his hand before quickly wrapping his hand around his cock and giving it a few long tugs until it was completely coated with the slick lubricant, the excess fluid trailing down around the base of his wide shaft to his thick, heavy sac.

Derek lined his cock up with Braeden's pussy and slid in with one long, solid thrust until he bottomed out. He bent over and began pressing small kisses to the light pink scarred skin tissue on her neck as he let her adjust to his size, since it'd been awhile since they'd been so intimate. Once she started shifting underneath his thickly muscled body and started giving small, encouraging upward-thrusts of her hips, he knew she was ready.

Derek began pistoning his hips, knowing Braeden preferred sharp, near-constant thrusts to her g-spot and he gladly delivered. He remained hunched over her smaller, slighter body, using his upper body strength to hold himself upright as he placed love bites across her collar bone. He raised one hand to her breast and began to pinch and pull the tan, perky bud just the way Braeden liked while he teased her clit with the thick, but nubile fingers of his other hand.

Between the stimulation to her nipple and clit and the rhythmic pressure to her g-spot, Braeden was whimpering and turning her head from side to side as she began to orgasm. Her hot, wet pussy clamped around Derek's hard cock like a vice. He knew she liked a little bit of over-stimulation, so he continued to play with her nipple and clit and picked up the speed of his thrusts as he chased his own personal nirvana.

He came seconds later, letting out a low grunt as his thick cock pulsated and shot spurts of warm cum deep inside of his blissed-out girlfriend. He ceased the teasing of his fingers and gripped her shapely hips as he languidly rolled his own hips and rode out his orgasm. He kissed his way up Braeden's neck and pecked at her full lips until she opened her mouth and ran her tongue over his, sampling the lingering citrus taste of her own juices in his mouth.

After he'd stopped cumming, Derek pulled out and laid down next to Braeden and slipped his fingers into her slightly-stretched pussy; shallowly thrusting the thick digits until they were coated in a mixture of his cum and her juices. He pulled them out and skimmed up her body to circle her nipples with his fingers, spreading their combined liquids onto her areolas before sucking his fingers into his mouth to clean them off. Once his fingers were clean, Derek bent over Braeden's chest to lick off the remaining cum and pussy he had just spread around her hard, perky little nubs.

“Stop that, you know I hate it when you cover me in our sex juice.” Braeden said tiredly, throwing an arm over her eyes and smacking listlessly at the werewolf with her free hand.

“I can't help it, babe. It's a werewolf thing.” Derek mumbled from the swell of her breasts as he teased a nipple with the edge of his teeth.

“Cut it out, Der,” She groaned as she pushed him away and sat up, staring down at him in irritation. “And why didn't you use a condom? Now I've got to clean up before I can go to bed.”

Derek had to mentally remind himself not to roll his eyes. “Do you want me to help you?” he asked with a smirk as he raised an eyebrow. “We could go for round two.”

Braeden shook her head and stood up. “No, I want to go to bed.” She strutted into the attached bathroom and called out, “You're lucky I'm on the pill, Der. Next time, put on a damn condom.” She shut the door and turned the lock.

Derek stared at the shut door with his mouth open before his brain processed what his girlfriend had said. He leapt from the bed and stood outside the door, barely controlling the urge to shift.

“What the hell do you mean you're on the pill? We're trying for a _baby_ , Braeden. We discussed that a few hours ago at dinner. I asked you if you wanted to take a break and you said no because I'd already found Stiles and you agreed to give it a chance until the new year. Why the hell are you on the damn pill?”

“Because, Derek, the pill doesn't just prevent pregnancy, remember? It also regulates my period. And having a predictable time of the month is pretty damn necessary in my line of work. With the pill, I know what to expect and when to prepare for it.”

The werewolf sighed and walked toward the bedside table and pulled out a package of unscented baby wipes and began to clean off his dick and groin. “Okay, I understand that, but why're you pissed at me because I didn't use a condom? You've never minded cleaning up after sex before.”

“Things change, Derek. I'm exhausted and want to go to bed.”

“Then why did we have sex if you just wanted to go to bed?!”

“Derek! Just- stop. God. I shouldn't have to explain everything to you. Do you _need_ an answer for anything?” The woman sighed. “You weren't like this last time I saw you. What's wrong?”

“I don't know, Braeden,” Derek seethed, throwing away the wipes he had used before clenching his hand into a fist. “I guess things change.”

“Oh, don't even start that shit with me, Derek!”

He growled low in his throat and pulled on his boxers, but kicked his jeans toward the hamper. “I'm going upstairs to finish that blueprint. Goodnight, Braeden.”

She didn't respond and Derek got the satisfaction of having the last word as he left the master bedroom and headed toward the attic. He'd built the damn house, but it sure as hell didn't feel like a home.


	5. September 22, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during chapter 6 of "Through the Dark".

##### Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Derek unplugged his phone from the AUX port in the Camaro and pulled up the contacts list on his smartphone. He knew part of using the AUX cord was to make calls, but the sheer volume of it and the way people in other vehicles could hear his entire conversation really irritated the werewolf.

It was bad enough he couldn't shield his personal business from any passing werewolf, there was no way he was going to allow humans to eavesdrop, as well. He wouldn't be able to block a werewolf from overhearing, but he'd grown up with werewolves and their nosy nature. Derek kept his phone nestled safely in plastic grips of the car mount on his dashboard so he wouldn't be pulled over and given a ticket for distracted driving.

A fond smile crossed his lips as he selected Stiles' name, tapped the 'call' icon on the screen and turned it on speakerphone. The phone had barely rang twice before the man on the other end of the call picked up with a simple, “Hello?”

“Hey, Stiles. The clinic called about a hour ago with the results of your drug test.”

“And?” The younger male sounded a little nervous, despite his earlier adamant arguments that he was clean.

“You're clean. Yay.” Derek didn't even attempt to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

“Yeah, I knew that. I'm entering the police force, Derek. I'm not doing drugs.” Derek rolled his eyes.

“Well, now we have it on record.”

“Great, so, what's next?”

“Well, we still have to wait for your blood test, make sure there aren't any genetic diseases, illnesses and so on, but for now, we can start looking at apartments. I've already found a couple online that could work for us.” The alpha werewolf wasn't too sure about any of the listings he'd come across, though. He knew realtors made things sound better than they actually were.

Stiles asked, sounding confused, “Us? I thought I'd be living alone.”

“Yes, you will be.” The werewolf pulled out of the parking lot and entered the main road, “I meant, work out for us regarding proximity and my standards.”

“Dude, so long as its not on the East side or in the Greenwich complex, I'm good with whatever.”

Derek sighed and rolled his eyes. “Stiles, you're going to be pregnant, so, in a few months, stairs are going to be your worst enemy.”

“That's what elevators are for!”

“Not when there's a fire! And if everyone is panicking, you could easily be pushed and potentially fall down the stairs and depending on how you fall and how far along you are, you could lose the baby.”

Stiles was quiet for a moment and Derek glanced at the screen to make sure their call hadn't been disconnected.

The younger male sounded defeated when he finally spoke up, “Great, now I'm scared of stairs. Anything else I should be afraid of?”

Derek snorted as his mind flooded with potential dangers. “Lots of things, but we won't get into them right now.” He tried to gather his thoughts while he sat at a red light. “Do you have any classes tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I've got a class from 9 o'clock to10:30 and then lab from 12 to 3.”

“Hmm...I've got dinner plans at 6. Do you want to check out the apartments tomorrow? I can pick you up at 3:30 and it should only take a couple hours. So long as I'm home by 5:30. Does that work for you?”

It took another moment for Stiles to reply, “Yeah, I don't have too many assignments due this week, so that'll work. So, see you at 3:30 tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you then. Bye.”

“Bye, Derek.” Stiles ended the call before Derek could tap the screen and he watched as the faceless icon drifted away and went back to Stiles' contact profile.

The werewolf jumped when the car behind him blared it's horn and he swore under his breath as he realized the light had turned green while he was staring at his phone. He pressed on the gas and muttered under his breath as he drove down the main street before turning down a quieter road, taking a back way to one of the cheaper gas stations in the area.

Derek had no explanation for the light, fluttery feeling in his stomach as he thought about tomorrow. He was going to find Stiles a safe place to stay for the duration of his service as his and Braeden's surrogate and afterward, he was having dinner with his lovely girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly.

He jolted as his phone rang and quickly tapped the 'answer' icon and enabled speaker phone without glancing at the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey, Der. How's my favorite brother?” A very familiar voice asked teasingly.

“Hey, Laur,” Derek said with a smile as he turned down another road, “I'm great. I finally found a surrogate to carry a baby for Braeden and I.” he couldn't stop his grin from widening as he pictured his sister's reaction. “How're y-?”

“What?! That's awesome, Der! What's she like? Is she a wolf, too?”

“Nope. _He's_ human, but he is part of a pack. A pack we know well.”

“What? He? Or did you say 'she'? And which pack?” Laura growled when Derek laughed. “Don't make me fly there just to kick your ass, Der. Tell me all about them!”

“Okay, you know Isaac's partners, Scott and Allison?”

“Yes, Der. I've met the puppy Alpha and his girlfriend. What about them? I want to know about your surrogate! Is Allison your surrogate?”

“No, it's not Allison. My surrogate is part of their pack and living with them at their apartment, Laur.” Derek said with a smile as he reached the gas station. He pulled into a parking space and shut off the Camaro so he could finish his call before he filled up his tank. “His name is Stiles. He's from the same town as my betas, if you can believe it. He's an undeveloped human spark that was born with Persistent Müllerian duct syndrome, which means he was born with a uterus and fallopian tubes. And instead of having it removed when he found out he had them and started menstruating, he kept them because he's bisexual and he could carry his own children if he ended up with a guy.”

“That's insane. I've never heard of something like that.”

Derek smiled. “I hadn't either. But Stiles is the one Isaac's always complaining about, and when I ran into him at the clinic, his scent just set me off. He smelled like _pack_ and when he told me he was part of Scott's pack, it made sense, since he's around Isaac, but the smell was pretty intense. I thought he was sleeping with Isaac because he smelled like-” The werewolf cut himself off as he realized what he'd been about to say. Stiles had smelt like home. The human man not only smelled like Isaac, and thus, Derek's pack. He smelled like Laura did. Like family. Derek's eyes widened for a split-second before his eyebrows furrowed together. What the hell did that mean?

“What'd he smell like, Der?”

“Like, uh, us. Pack.” He cleared his throat and shook his head, trying to push his thoughts aside until a later time when he could analyze them. “Anyway, we just got his drug test back and it was clean, so now we're waiting on the blood test. Once that comes back clear, he's ready to get started on hormone treatment and then he'll be implanted with the fertilized egg and once he's pregnant, we've just got to wait, get things ready and we'll have our baby.”

“That's fantastic, Derek! I'm so happy for you and Braeden!” Derek smiled at his sister's clear enthusiasm. “I'm going to have to plan a trip to come see you! It's been so long!”

The werewolf rolled his eyes. “Next holiday is Thanksgiving and it's tradition that I go to San Francisco to spend it with you.”

“Wait, you're forgetting your birthday! Also, it's not fair that I only get to see you on Thanksgiving because you and Braeden always spend Christmas together. I want a Hale family Christmas!”

“By next Christmas, there will be another little Hale and you'll have to come spend Christmas with us.”

“Definitely, there's no way I'm missing my first and only nie-” A short, musical alert overlapped his sister's voice and Derek glanced at the screen. “Hang on, Laura, Stiles is calling me. Let me see what he wants and I'll call you back.”

“It's fine. I've got to get back to work, anyway. Keep me posted!”

“I will, love you.”

“Love you, too, Der. Bye.”

Derek tapped the 'end call' icon before accepting Stiles' call and turning it on speaker phone “Yes, Stiles?” his voice sounded somewhere between amused and annoyed, which wasn't his intention.

“Your beta is attacking me!” Stiles' loud voice filled Derek's ears and made the werewolf's blood run cold.

“ _What_?!” He must've misheard the human. There was no way-

“Isaac shifted, tried to attack me and I locked myself in the bathroom and he's trying to break in. He's going to get in, Derek!” Stiles' panicked voice kicked Derek into action.

The alpha nearly broke the key inside the ignition in his rush to start the vehicle. He threw the gearshift into reverse and backed out of the parking space, narrowly avoiding colliding with a Kia.

Derek knew he wouldn't make it to the apartment in time to save the younger male, he was just too far away. He had to come up with an alternative rescue. “Hold on, put me on speakerphone, turn up the volume and cup your hand around the speaker to amplify the sound. Try to get the volume as loud as possible, but not loud enough for neighbors to hear.” Aside from his beta mauling his surrogate, the last thing he wanted was someone calling the police and getting Isaac locked up.

“What? Why?”

“Just do it!” Derek snapped, barely able to stop himself from half-shifting as he pressed his foot down hard on the gas pedal.

The tires of his Camaro screeched and squealed loudly as he peeled out of the gas station parking lot. He ignored the speed limit as he sped toward Isaac's apartment.

“Fine, okay, damn sourwolf!” Stiles swore and Derek could hear muffled fumbling and then Stiles asked, “Okay, now what?”

Derek didn't even pause to think about his actions as he let the rage and anger swell inside him. He inhaled deeply before he let a deafening, threatening roar erupt from his throat. He hair on his arms and the back of his neck rose as tremors overtook his body and he finished with snarl, still barely holding back a shift. If he weren't a werewolf, Derek knew his throat would be raw and his ears would be ringing.

He heard a quiet sigh and the male on the other end of the call sounded relieved as he said, “He stopped trying to beat down the door.”

Derek felt some of the tension in his body ease, but he continued to drive just as quickly toward the apartment. He wasn't taking any chances.

“Isaac, go sit in the bedroom. Do not talk to Stiles or leave the bedroom. Sit and _stay there_.” He used his Alpha-voice on the beta, knowing Isaac would be forced to obey. Usually, Derek felt bad using his power against his most sensitive beta, but for once, he didn't feel an inkling of sympathy.

The werewolf heard muffled sounds before Stiles' voice filled his vehicle, sounding much more relaxed and grateful.

“He's in the bedroom.”

“Good. I'm coming to the apartment. Go to the lobby and wait for me.” Derek took another shortcut down a side road.

“I don't have a key to get back in, though.”

“Put something in the door to stop it from shutting behind you. And Isaac can open it if it shuts.”

“Do you really think he'd do that after you yelled at him?”

The older male practically growled, “He will if he knows what's good for him.”

Derek popped out near a lesser used main road and entered the apartment complex parking lot where his beta, surrogate and his beta's partners currently lived. He pulled into the closest spot he could find and slammed the car into park, barely remembering to rein in his power before he broke the gearshift, and wrenched the keys back to shut the vehicle off. The alpha grabbed his phone from the dashboard before exiting his car. He locked it as he strode toward the building, taking Stiles off speakerphone and before he brought the phone up to his ear.

He was about to tell Stiles he was almost there, but the younger man began speaking first.

“How close are you?” The human gasped into the phone, sounding winded.

“I just parked. Come get the door.” Derek would've cringed at how short he'd just been toward his potential surrogate, but he was still trying to control his shift and his wolf was just beneath the surface, looking for a fight and demanding submission.

The call ended and Derek felt his eyes flash when Stiles yanked open the door to let him into the building.

“Did I say you could hang up?” The werewolf demanded with a glare. He knew he was being a possessive, dominating asshole, but he couldn't help it. It was better to appease his wolf than shifting in a public place.

“No, Alpha Hale.” Stiles replied, his voice neutral as he tilted his head just a bit to bare his neck to the bearded man.

Derek blinked in surprise at Stiles before a deep frown settled over his face. “Don't act submissive, Stiles. We both know you're anything but.”

It made Derek uncomfortable to see Stiles so neutral and _willing_ , even though everything from the werewolf's voice and body language was practically demanding the younger man to submit. However, seeing Stiles in such a position made Derek want to scent-mark him and had lust pooling low in his loins. He shook it off as a hormone imbalance caused by the fear for Stiles' life and anger at his beta. His body was firing off all kinds of neurons and he was still fighting off a partial shift.

Stiles shot the were' a quick grin accompanied by a sly wink. “Oh, Alpha Hale, you'd be surprised.”

Derek's eyes widened before he schooled himself and gave Stiles a look. “Stop flirting and take me to Isaac.”

“Wait, how'd you get here so quick?” Stiles inquired.

The alpha raised an eyebrow. “I wasn't too far away, which was lucky for you.”

The human nodded and headed toward the elevator, but Derek stopped the younger male by wrapping a strong hand around his upper bicep and pulling him back. “Stairs?” Stiles pointed them out and he started toward the doors Stiles had pointed out. “What floor?”

“Fourth floor, take a left out of the stairwell, room 413, it's on the left, too.”

“Thanks. Take the elevator. You're on an adrenaline high and you don't want to be jogging up stairs when your adrenaline crashes.” Derek knew that Stiles' adrenaline high wouldn't crash so quickly, but the alpha needed to work off some of his own excess energy and being trapped in a small space with Stiles and the scent he exuded wouldn't bode well for either of them.

Derek raced up the steps with the speed of a strong, healthy alpha without breaking a sweat or losing his breath. He pushed open the door for the fourth floor and turned left before he jogged down the hall, mostly following the scent he recognized as Stiles'. He had no idea how an apartment that belonged to four people could smell so much like one particular individual who was no more than 160 pounds and used no weird or unusual products that would cause his scent to stick out the way it did.

The alpha kicked the shoe out of the way and let the door fall shut loudly behind him as he entered the apartment. He could hear his beta's pathetic whimpers coming from behind a wooden door down a very short hall.

“Isaac, come out here right now.” He commanded and rolled his head to the side as he partially shifted. The tension that had coursed through his body since Stiles' panicked phone call melted away as his teeth became elongated, his nose widened, his eyebrows vanished and the tips of his ears fused into points.

The lock clicked before the knob turned and his beta appeared in the doorway. Isaac slowly opened the door wider before shuffling toward him, his own beta-shift features on display. His lips were red, and a mixture of dry and fresh blood trailed in thin tracks to his chin. Derek's eyes narrowed and he knew the young werewolf had bitten his lips til they bled and had freshly healed.

“What do you think you were doing?” Derek growled lowly. He ignored the blonde's whimpering as it rose in pitch, and visible wincing as he focused on the important and serious event that had transpired. “You know better than to shift around a human. Especially a human that's unprotected. If Stiles were anyone else, he would've called the cops and you know what happens to werewolves who can't control themselves and stop themselves from shifting, don't you?

“Do you really need to be reminded that you'd get locked up, tranquilized and have to go through multiple psych evaluations and counseling sessions until you're put in a facility and go into a rehabilitation program that lasts anywhere between 2 to 12 weeks, maybe longer, depending on how severe your actions were and the damage done?! Do you want that, Isaac? Do you want to be locked up?”

“No, Alpha.” The beta whispered with his head bent to the side as he exposed his neck and kept his golden eyes trained on the floor.

“Then you-” Derek cut himself off as a very familiar scent hit him. A hesitant knock sounded from the door and he couldn't help but let out a growl as Isaac whimpered yet again.

A thump against the door was followed by Stiles saying, “Derek, it's me.”

“Wait.” Derek ordered loudly enough for the human to be able to hear him from across the room and through the heavy door before he turned his attention back to Isaac.

“Stiles is my potential surrogate, Isaac. He's the one who is going to be carrying my baby and give us the next generation of the Hale family. Do you understand what it'd do to _me_ if you had hurt _him_?”

When the beta whimpered, Derek knew he was only scaring the young blond and the beta wasn't going to retain anything he was saying. He sighed, “Isaac, stand up straight, stop submitting.”

The man snapped to attention, but kept his eyes focused on the ground.

“Look at me.” Derek growled, and he knew his eyes flashed at the order.

Once he was staring into the younger were's bright gold eyes, Derek continued, “You're going to get counseling, or I will take you to one of the werewolf facilities and have you committed for four weeks, do you understand? You're _lucky_ it was Stiles and he called _me_ instead of the police. I hope you realize that.

“You're going to look around for a counselor and set up a schedule with them, got it?”

Isaac nodded and his body shook minutely with fear as Derek fixed him with a glare. “Isaac, I still love you and you're still pack and my beta, but you _need_ to sort out any leftover feelings and issues you have about your dad. I've always suggested you go to therapy, but Chris adopted you and thought he could teach you to work through your issues on your own and that maybe honing your werewolf abilities would ground you and make you more confident and able to deal with the past, but it hasn't. You need help, Isaac. And Chris, Allison, Scott, Boyd, Erica, Braeden, Laura and I aren't going to think any less of you for seeking help. We want you to get better and gain more confidence, Isaac. To stop showing only us the real you and break away from the shell you wear to keep the rest of the world out. We love you, you're pack and we want what's best for you, and even if you're unwilling to do it for yourself right now, do it for us.”

He held open his arms and Isaac launched at him, keening high-pitched whimpers against Derek's broad, muscular shoulder as he inhaled his alpha's scent.

Derek wrapped his arms around Isaac and rubbed the younger man's thin back soothingly until the hysterical man had calmed himself down enough by rubbing his face into his thick shoulder and taking deep, desperate breaths. The alpha stepped back and cocked his head as he listened in on Stiles' conversation with Scott, which didn't seem to be going well.

“Go sit on the couch,” he ordered the blond quietly as he walked toward the door, knowing his beta would obey. Derek's wolfish features easily melted away while he made his way to the door and opened it to let the human in.

Stiles fell backwards onto the floor of the apartment and stared dazedly up at Derek after his head smacked off the floor.

“Ouch. That was rude. Maybe warn a guy.”

Derek rolled his eyes and helped him up, cupping Stiles' head in his large hand once the fair-skinned male was standing. His fingers lightly ran through the dark, thick hair on Stiles' head and he had to force himself to pull his hand away. “No bump, you'll be fine.” He studied the male's face carefully. “Well, kind of fine. Are you alright?”

Stiles' eyes glinted in realization and he folded his arms over his chest. “Not really, but I'll live.”

Derek's green eyes narrowed as his jaw ticked. “We'll find you a place to move into by the end of the week. This kind of stress won't be good when you're pregnant and I want you settled in a place by then.”

Stiles nodded and threw a cautious smile toward the bearded male. “Thanks for coming over. And saving me from being werewolf chow.”

Derek's eyes snapped toward his beta. “He won't bother you anymore, not unless he wants to deal with me. And he's going to see a counselor, even if I have to drag him there myself.”

“If that's what it takes.” Stiles mumbled, glancing toward the blond male on the couch. “D'you mind waiting a sec while I grab my bag? I've got to get to work.”

“No problem.” Derek walked over to the couch to stand next to Isaac while Stiles gathered up his books, notebooks, laptop and phone charger, stacking them neatly before slipping them into his well-worn backpack and swung it onto his shoulder, lurching to the side under the weight.

“I can't wait til everyone switches over to electronic books. Or better yet, uploads it straight into my brain.” Stiles rambled as he picked up his wallet and keys. Derek had to fight a smile, as he knew better than to get the younger man going. “Though, that didn't really work out too well...Cybermen and all.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Derek faked a sigh as he followed Stiles out of the apartment. He ignored his beta, whom was still sitting stoically on the couch, and let the door fall shut behind him with a solid thud and a heavy click of the automatic lock.

Stiles was already walking toward the stairs, but Derek easily matched the younger man's pace. “ _Doctor Who_? The show has been around practically since TV has existed, minus the little fizzle in the nineties to the mid two-thousands.”

“Still have no idea what you're talking about.” He really had no clue what the man was going on about, but if it distracted Stiles from his near death experience, Derek was willing to listen to him recite all of the known elements and their groupings, if that's what calmed him down.

“We're going to have to binge-watch it, then. I'll come over so I can introduce you to _Doctor Who_ , all the old episodes are on Netflix now, but we'll start with 9, work our way up to Capaldi, who is technically 13 and then we'll watch the old episodes!” Stiles was panting for breath once they had reached the bottom floor. “You have Netflix, right?”

Derek rolled his eyes. He may not be very into technology or up to date with everything that happened in the world, but of course he had Netflix. “Yes, I do.”

Stiles gave him a look. “Well then, you've had to have heard about _Doctor Who_ it's always under the 'Popular Now' list on Netflix. _Always_.”

“Is there any chance you'll forget about this conversation and I can live my life blissfully unaware of this show?” Not that the werewolf would mind. He would like to get to know more about Stiles by being around the younger man himself rather than basing his opinion on the things he'd heard from Isaac, Scott and Allison.

“Nope. And once you're sucked in, there's no getting out.” Stiles pulled out his keys and patted Derek's shoulder. “I hope you're prepared for the feels.”

“The _what_?” Derek asked, as he furrowed his brows in genuine confusion.

Stiles shook his head as he unlocked his Jeep. “Dude, before we look at apartments tomorrow, I've got to show you this YouTube video. It'll explain everything and probably horrify you.” Stiles smirked. “I'm going to pop your fandom cherry.”

Derek rolled his eyes and focused on feigning annoyance to distract himself from the lust pooling low in his groin. Hearing an ordinary person talk about popping cherries, especially in a non-sexual format, shouldn't cause him to have these sort of reactions.

He attempted to divert Stiles' focus. “I'm beginning to wonder whether you're sane or not.”

Stiles shrugged and pulled the door shut as he started his Jeep, but with his advanced hearing, the werewolf was able to hear the man say, “I'm sure it'll show up in the blood test!”

Derek shook his head in amusement and walked toward his Camaro, pointedly ignoring Stiles honking his blue monstrosity's horn and the brunette's overly enthusiastic waving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long for me to update. If you follow me on Facebook, you know why, and can skip reading this, but for others, I was very depressed and suicidal. I also had an emergency appendectomy that took me a month to recover from.
> 
> Those aren't excuses, but they are the reasons it took me this long.
> 
> Thank you for being patient.


	6. Sept. 28, 2015, Oct. 10-11, 2015

Chapter 6

##### Sunday, October 11, 2015

The past few weeks had flown by and Derek was grateful for late evenings when he could catch his breath and wrap his head around the fact that all of his hopes and dreams regarding parenthood were coming true. Just a few days ago, Stiles had started his period and began wearing the estrogen patch and getting daily shots of Dexamethasone in the ass.

So far, the only person Stiles allowed to perform the injection was Derek, which slightly pleased the alpha, although he didn't know why. He hated the little whimpers the younger male made and the fuss he kicked up as he lowered his pants and boxers over the alluring curve of his fair-skinned ass that had a few beauty marks dotting the flesh. The werewolf often placed one hand on the small of Stiles' back, pressing him down firmly into the couch cushions to keep the squirming man still, but also to calm the human's heart from jack-rabbiting out of his chest. The alpha tried to get it over with as quickly, and safely, as possible. Smacking Stiles' ass at the end was just a bonus, as it got the medicine moving in the younger man's bloodstream, as well as gave Derek a slight bit of payback for all the whining he had to endure regarding the shot.

He never thought about their morning routine for long, though. After the first time he had let his mind wander and picture the barely-there light pink mark his hand had left on the human's fair flesh, the perfect round slope of the man's backside and that teasing cleft...

Derek shoved the thoughts away before he fell into a daydream he couldn't control. He blamed his surge of hormones on Stiles, whom was being pumped full of them daily. It didn't help that the younger male's natural scent had recently began to mix with Derek's own natural scent, which only kicked his supernatural body into overdrive.

It probably didn't help that Stiles was now living with him, even though he was tucked away in the apartment over the garage that he'd built with his sister in mind. After only a few short days, Derek couldn't imagine what his life had been like before the sarcastic, hormonal human had lived with him.

Well, quieter was the first thing to come to mind. Followed quickly by an overwhelming feeling of lonliness.

Derek had been thrilled that Stiles had hit it off so well with his longtime friend and maid, Aprille. He couldn't really imagine anyone not loving the beautiful, smart and steadfast woman. They shared a close bond that was almost familial. She was so motherly, but reminded him more of Laura and how she always looked out for him, had his best interests at heart and cheered him on no matter what his goals were. He liked Aprille's husband, Joel, as well and absolutely adored their daughter, Lena, whom he spoiled like a favorite niece. It had been important to him that Stiles got along well with the Chua family and he was thankful with how easily Aprille and Stiles had formed a friendship.

A few days after Stiles had settled in, the human had kicked his flirting up a notch, which Derek didn't really blame him for. With the testosterone and estrogen fighting a constant battle within him, and the sudden increase in the time they spent together, Stiles began complaining about being horny and whining about the contract not allowing him to have sex. Of course, Derek hadn't banned the human from masturbating, but the brunette had taken it one step further by propositioning the werewolf when he offered Derek the opportunity to lend a helping hand.

Derek's mind had immediately flooded with mental images of Stiles' ass and the two perfect dimples he'd glimpsed when the male's shirt hadn't been pulled down all the way. To bar his mind against his fantasies of pinning Stiles down with his body weight so he could pry those perfectly shaped cheeks apart and find out if the younger male was as delicious as he smelled, Derek reminded himself of Braeden, his wonderful, loving girlfriend that he _should_ be fantasizing about.

He'd told Stiles his new mantra about being in a happy, monogamous, loving relationship. The werewolf said it so often, it had already begun to sound like an empty promise to his own ears. When was the last time he'd even heard Braeden tell him she loved him? When had he last spoken the words to her, instead of just tapping it out reflexively at the end of a text message or saying the phrase to her voice mail before ending the call and going on with his day?

It'd be so much easier if she were around and could meet Stiles and interact with their hilarious, snarky, intelligent surrogate that had Derek fighting back smiles only to laugh quietly later in his bedroom when something the younger male said flitted across his mind as he got ready to fall asleep.

So when Stiles had gone on a small tangent questioning what Braeden was like and how she looked since there weren't any pictures of her or anyone else hanging around the house, Derek had been happy to oblige by whipping out his phone and shoving it under the brunette's nose. While the human admired Braeden's picture, Derek's thoughts wandered and as he mourned the lack of photography in his house.

Before his home had nearly burned down, there had been dozens of photos on the walls and displayed on the mantle, end tables and entertainment center. An equally impressive collage of photos and childish art work had littered the fridge. The pictures started with all of the kids as a babies, to Laura's graduation photo, candids from Derek's most recent basketball game, Cora and his younger cousins dancing outside in the silver light of the moon and many more of his siblings, their parents, cousins and aunt and uncle, and himself.

The photos had all burned down in the fire that killed his family and since the Hales were a private, close family, no one had any pictures to share, outside of the photos the school had taken for the yearbook over the course of their academic years. The same photos that had taken up a corner of the TV screen in his uncle's hospital room, as the local news covered the story and the arsonists behind the murder of the Hale family. Kate Argent and her associates were caught and in jail for life sentences without chance of parole. His uncle was moved to a long term care facility and showed no sign of recovery, despite being a werewolf.

Derek longed to fill the walls of his own home with pictures, but Braeden didn't enjoy having her photo taken. They did come to an agreement that they would take wedding or mating photos once they bonded, and would have family photographs taken once they had children, but his walls were as bare as they ever were, though Derek hoped that would soon change.

Stiles had snapped Derek from his thoughts at the time as his hormones played pinball with his emotions and he'd soothed the younger man and discussed the upcoming fertilization treatment.

The alpha had been focused on calming Stiles down, but now when he had a chance to think about it, Derek thought he'd ask Stiles if he would mind having his photo taken while he was pregnant. He wanted to be able to show his child a picture of him or her while they were still growing inside of Stiles. The werewolf hoped Stiles would let him take just a couple of photos, even if they weren't professional. It was time he started rebuilding the Hale family photo album.

After all, it would only be a matter of time before Stiles was pregnant. They'd gone to the clinic and met Dr. Swan, who was lovely and the nicest doctor Derek had met so far. She was a perfect fit for them and Derek wished Braeden could have met her, although the OB/GYN/RE seemed to share more in common with Stiles than she would with Braeden.

Stiles had been nervous, and Derek had been, as well. He was less anxious than Stiles, whom seemed to calm down considerably when Derek touched him, as if he were grounding force for the young man. Which is why he immediately offered to hold Stiles' legs for him so he wouldn't need the stirrups. He wasn't sure how well Stiles would be able to keep from panicking if his legs were spread apart and locked up for such an intrusive, important task. At the time, it only made sense for Derek to hold the brunette's legs up to keep him calm and less nervous.

Derek hadn't been able to look away from Stiles' tight, light pink, puckered starburst nestled between those pale, mole-dotted cheeks. When the doctor used her gloved and lubed up fingers to stretch Stiles open to begin the transfer, Derek had to tighten his grip on the younger man's legs as he shifted his body weight when his cock gave an interested twitch.

He had been thankful that Stiles had his eyes shut because Derek hadn't been able to control his eyes when they flashed alpha red, for just a second, before he clenched them shut until his irises were green again.

The werewolf had watched as the doctor stretched Stiles open and the younger man tried so hard not to twist, jerk away, or close his legs. He had struggled to remain still, yet relaxed enough for Dr. Swan to carefully insert the catheter and then bring it out slowly. Derek knew from their first round of IVF with Braeden that the procedure was done quickly and painlessly, but Stiles hadn't been as sure. After Dr. Swan had instructed Stiles to take it easy and to not worry so much, Derek had massaged Stiles' legs so they wouldn't cramp up. He'd done the same each time for Braeden after her legs were in the stirrups, so he did it almost without thinking.

When they'd gotten home, Stiles had school work to finish, but Derek hadn't wanted him holed up in his room, so he brought Stiles' things to the living room for him and helped him get settled.

As he chatted with Stiles and plugged in the college student's laptop, Derek reminded himself to get the man some sort of radiation cover, so he could text on his phone and use his laptop without worrying about the baby. He'd looked at a few like items when Braeden had been pregnant the first time around, but hadn't made any purchases before the baby had been miscarried. As much as he wanted to buy it for the younger male as soon as possible, a smarter, more patient side told Derek to wait, at least until the pregnancy was confirmed.

However, it hadn't escaped the werewolf's attention that Stiles hands lingered around his stomach, as if he expected to feel a baby bump already. That, or the brunette had been enjoying his last few weeks of having a flat stomach before he swelled with child. It had more than likely been the latter, though Derek wouldn't comment on it. It was bad enough he was attracted to the younger man physically. He didn't want to fall for Stiles' personality and charm, as well.

If he were being honest with himself, he may have failed in that quest already, though.

Yesterday, they'd gone to get the blood test to be sent to the lab to find out if Stiles was pregnant and after, when Dr. Swan had checked the younger man's womb and announced that Stiles was pregnant, it hadn't really sunk in for Derek right away.

Today it had, after he received the phone call with the results of Stiles' blood test and the receptionist's congratulations. He was beyond thrilled, but a tiny voice in the back of his mind told him not to get too use to the idea. He'd gone down this road before and each time Braeden had miscarried. And each miscarriage had left him feeling hollow and a bit bitter.

He had three evergreen saplings planted in his backyard, one for each of the children he had lost. It had been recommended by Dr. Mackey when Derek had felt raw and wounded after the first miscarriage and the feeling only amplified by the second miscarriage. The grief counselor said it could be a lack of closure, such as what he had experienced when he'd lost his family to a fire and hadn't dealt with it in a healthy manner.

That was hardly his fault, though. Derek hadn't had the chance to bury his family, since they'd been diminished to ashes and were indistinguishable from the other ashes that were once furniture, books and so on. His babies hadn't formed into bodies, so there was nothing to bury. However, by planting a sapling in their memory helped the werewolf, just a bit, and made the healing process a lot easier. Without Dr. Mackey's suggestion, Derek had no doubt that he would have felt like he was still bleeding from a deep, infected wound, and near feral with grief.

While one part of him wanted to start planning the nursery and start stocking up on diapers and wipes, another side of him whispered for him to wait until Stiles hit the twelve week mark, when most chances of miscarriage diminished. Twelve weeks was a long time to wait and he was just a bit impatient. He'd wanted children for as long as he could remember, and it'd been amplified when he had lost his family and dealt with the survivor's guilt. For years his inner self had been raging at him, whining and pushing for him to mate and produce offspring. The push toward rebuilding the pack weighed at his heart and soul nearly everyday.

Braeden had put her foot down and refused to bond or marry before she had time to establish herself in her career, but she'd been just as excited as he was to start a family, though less excited after she miscarried their first child. She was even more disheartened when she miscarried the second and almost shut down and blocked him out after they'd lost the third. Their sex life suffered, since they both associated it with reproducing after months of trying, which was a sore subject between them. When they spoke, they fought. He tried to comfort her, but Braeden liked to deal with her pain on her own, in her own way, whereas Derek sought comfort in others, like a wolf would lean on the strength of the pack when they were weak. He and Braeden were a wicked force when they were both well and fine, but when one slipped and thought of what their bond had been like before they lost children, or how they use to be unable to keep their hands off each other, or looked forward to every call and text...

Their bond felt broken and Derek didn't know how to fix it. Not when Braeden constantly worked and rarely had reception when she was on missions. The breaks between missions became few and far between and their home barely smelled like her anymore. They didn't have enough chances or time to sit down and hash out their problems to make everything better. Braeden's way of healing involved throwing herself into work and, while Derek respected that, a small part of him thought it was wrong. Braeden didn't need to face her grief on her own. It was their shared grief and they should go through the healing process together, but she refused and took on more jobs at work.

However, Derek wasn't a quitter. He wouldn't abandon his girlfriend when she was suffering from depression after the miscarriages, just as he didn't abandon Laura to start his life over, or allow Isaac to leave his pack just because Chris took him to France. Derek was a fighter. It was what had attracted Braeden to him in the first place, and was a quality he admired in her, as well.

Even though Derek would form a temporary bond with Stiles throughout the duration of the pregnancy and would feel tied to the younger man, Derek refused to forget that his girlfriend was the most important person in his life and would always come first, whether they were bonded or not.

Braeden had sounded excited when he called and told her that Stiles was pregnant, but he knew some of her enthusiasm was forced. Still, once Stiles hit the twelve week mark, he knew he and Braeden would both breathe easier and Braeden would probably take less jobs so she could be home with him and prepare for their child together. He and Braeden were an amazing team and nothing could hold them back, not the loss of their babies, nor the distance between them. They'd come out on top and stronger than ever.

Derek had faith.

**XXXXXX**

Braeden lowered the phone from her ear and stared at the screen as it flashed and went to Derek's profile, detailing his name, birthday, various email addresses and profile picture. It was one of her favorite photos of him, with his mouth turned down, eyes wide, half-shift form features on display as he struck a goofy 'I-don't-know' pose. It never failed to coax a small smile out of her.

Until now.

She stretched her arm to set the phone down on the bedside table and winced as her head pulsed. The highly trained U.S. Marshal curled up on the bed in her hotel room, the same one she'd been using for a week as her team helped a family transition to their new identities. 

Braeden knew how excited Derek was that their surrogate was pregnant, but wasn't sure if she convinced him she was just as enthusiastic. She was thousands of miles away on a mission while her boyfriend was spending his time with a young man that would carry and deliver their baby.

The baby Braeden should be carrying.

They'd run so many tests and there was nothing wrong with her, yet she still couldn't carry a baby for more than a few weeks. She was a woman, bringing forth new life was one of the core components to being a woman. And here she was pregnant three times... childless.

In the beginning, she had been bursting with excitement to start a family with Derek. However, when each positive pregnancy test was followed by a miscarriage, her enthusiasm waned.

Braeden knew burying herself into work and keeping Derek at an arm's length was putting a huge strain on their relationship. It was mostly her fault, she knew, but some fault laid in the alpha. For not giving her time to recover. For not seeing that with each miscarriage, a large piece of her heart chipped away until she was left with shattered pieces.

She sucked in a sharp breath as her head began pounding and her vision swam. She blindly reached for a painkiller. With shaky hands she popped the lid off and swallowed a single pill dry.

As she set the pill bottle back on the nightstand, a terrifying thought crossed her mind.

What if, when the baby was delivered, she felt no love or maternal instincts for the child? She was already dreading the child's birth, and since she wasn't carrying the baby, she wouldn't have that time to bond and come to terms with having a baby.

The longer she thought about it, Braeden started to almost hope their surrogate would miscarry. Maybe then Derek would finally give up and she could tell him she was planning on a drastic career change. Then they could hold off on planning a family until they both had time to heal, and Braeden could live out her dreams before diving into family life before the age of thirty.

She had already talked to her supervisor, called in a few favors and negotiated a little time off. Tomorrow, she'd be back with Derek and would meet their unconventional male surrogate.

Maybe she could try to talk some sense into him, before the pregnancy progressed any further. The chances of a man doing what a woman couldn't were slim, and if the child did manage to survive to the past six week mark, they could always have an abortion.

Braeden shut her eyes and tried to get comfortable on the lumpy mattress. She couldn't wait to be home with Derek, sleeping next to him in their comfortable bed, where she truly belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the incredibly short chapter, everyone. 
> 
> This is what I wrote during my depression and it's not my best. I actually really dislike it, but have tried rewriting it so many times, but end up with near the same material each time.
> 
> Maybe I'll come back and fix it later, but for now, this is my dark chapter.
> 
> Also, if you guys would like to chat with me and get to know me a bit more, feel free to add me on Facebook. I will never post to your wall. I know some of you don't let on to all your friends and family that you read/write fanfiction. It's alright, I'm one of y'all. That's why I made a separate account just for this. :) [Ken Wright](https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010578666956)


	7. Oct. 12, 2015, Oct. 15-16, 2015

##### Monday, October 12, 2015

Braeden smiled to herself as she pulled her hair into a low ponytail and exited the en suite master bathroom. “Hey, Der?” She called softly as she walked over to the closet and began to rummage through her side.

“Yeah, babe?” Derek shouted in response from downstairs.

“You've kept my bike fueled, right?” She asked as she searched for the pants and top she wanted to wear. “I was thinking about taking a ride later this evening, after we have dinner.”

“Yeah, of course.” Derek said, his voice getting louder as he jogged lightly up the stairs, “But why don't you hold off on the ride? I want you and Stiles to really get to know each other, and I thought we could just hang out after dinner. That way we'd break the ice and actually get to talk to him together.”

Braeden turned around to frown at her boyfriend. “Why? I thought you already discussed everything with him and went over the contract and everything? What more do we need to talk about?'

The werewolf furrowed his eyebrows. “I did, but I still think you should get to know him. I mean, more than what we've heard Isaac complain about and what Scott and Allison have said. I want you to meet him with an open mind and really get to know him.”

The young woman rolled her eyes, ignoring her boyfriend as she opted to get dressed. She picked out a matching black lace bra and panty set, a pair of black leather pants and a maroon tank top. She bent over, still naked after cleaning up from their earlier rendezvous.

Braeden could feel Derek's eyes caressing her skin as she shimmied into the panties, and then the skintight pants. She reached for her bra with a small smirk in place as she heard her boyfriend's nearly silent approach. Large, muscular arms wrapped around her waist and Derek's thick, calloused hands smoothed over her stomach and glided toward her breast, cupping the heated flesh lightly as he placed warm, slightly chaffing kisses on her shoulder and neck.

“You know what seeing you in those damn pants does to me,” Derek growled lowly as he pressed his hips against her ass, allowing Braeden to feel just how affected her boyfriend was.

“Yes, I do,” She responded with a sly smile as she tilted her head to the side. Derek's teeth nipped at her earlobe and sucked lightly. “That's why I wear them.”

Derek hummed his acknowledgment and spun her around so he could kiss her lips. “We don't have time to mess around right now. I've already got dinner started and Stiles will here soon.”

Braeden frowned and stepped back, staring into her boyfriend's green eyes. “We could make it quick. I'm sure he wouldn't mind waiting.”

Derek shook his head. “I'm not making Stiles wait just so we can have sex. We're in a professional relationship with him. He's carrying our baby, Brae.”

“It's just-” Braeden sighed heavily and put her bra on. “I never get to see you, Der, and I know this trip was about meeting Stiles and everything, but I also want to spend time with you. We rarely have any time together and I don't want to waste it.”

“Waste it? How is meeting with our surrogate a waste of time, Braeden?” Derek asked incredulously. All signs of lust were gone as he scowled at her defensively. “And we would have time to spend together if you were home more often.”

“My job is-”

“More important to you than I am, apparently.” Derek finished the sentence for her quietly.

Braeden sneered, “That is _not_ what I was going to say, Derek, and you know it. You are important, to me, too.”

“I know, Braeden. You say it all the time. But when it comes to making sacrifices, you never pick me over your job.”

“That's not true. I'm here now, aren't I?”

Derek sighed and turned away from her. “Yes, but you're not here for very long before you're rushing off again.” He walked toward the door. “I'm going to check on dinner.”

“Fine, Derek, just walk away. That's always your answer for everything, isn't it?” Braeden shouted after him.

She didn't get a response, and she didn't expect one. She knew Derek wasn't a person who walked away from his problems. Braeden was, though. And she was so ready to walk out the door and not come back.

She pulled her tank top over her head with a huff and yanked it down with a hiss. She was so tired of feeling like a failure. She couldn't carry a baby into second semester, she couldn't make Derek happy and she couldn't make their relationship work unless she sacrificed her job, which wasn't fair to her.

Bringing a baby into this mess was probably the worst idea in the world. Yet, she couldn't tell Derek that. As much as they fought and argued, she loved him. He was her family. He, Isaac, Erica and Boyd all meant the world to her. They were her family, as much as they were Derek's pack. And she couldn't give them up just because things weren't going well. Every relationship had its bumps and rough patches. She'd go downstairs, apologize and they would be fine.

At least, until the next inevitable argument.

**XXXXXX**

Braeden narrowed her dark brown eyes as she glanced at the clock on the microwave. “What time is he coming?”

“I texted him a couple of minutes ago to tell him that dinner would be ready in half an hour, so he should be on his way soon.”

“Good, because I don't think this will take half an hour.” Braeden said as she flipped over a pork chop in the pan. “They're just about done.”

Derek leaned over her shoulder and nodded. “Yeah, I'd say. Just put it on simmer to keep them warm. I'm going to finish up the potatoes. Can you grab the salad from the fridge?”

Braeden nodded and put the lid on the skillet as she lowered the heat. “He's not a vegan or vegetarian, is he?”

Her boyfriend snorted a laugh, “No. From what I can tell, he loves meat. And pizza.”

“He smells like pizza, doesn't he?” Braeden asked as she crinkled her nose and grabbed the large glass bowl from the fridge.

“No, not really. It's just a lingering scent. But I smell it on him pretty often.”

“He's going to have to eat better from now on. He can't be chowing down on pizza, junk food and fast food if he's carrying our baby.”

“Brae, relax, we're going to discuss that soon.” Derek began to mix the instant mashed potatoes. “Can you please stop judging him before you've even met him?”

Braeden lightly tossed the salad to make sure the dressing, tomatoes, cheese and carrot slices were evenly dispersed. “Fine.” She set the tongs inside the bowl and turned to Derek. “So, what _does_ he smell like?”

Derek cast her a quick look. “I thought I already told you.”

“If you did, I don't remember.”

Braeden rested a hand on her hip and studied her boyfriend carefully as his forehead wrinkled. “Well, he smells a lot like Isaac, Scott and Allison.”

“That makes sense, since he's part of Scott's pack and spends a lot of time with them.”

“Yeah, but he smells more like Isaac.”

“But Isaac's never liked Stiles. Why would they smell similar?”

Derek shrugged as the doorbell rang. “I'll see who it is. Can you start setting the table?”

Braeden sighed as her boyfriend strode from the kitchen and into the living room. For some reason, Derek didn't seem to want to talk about what Stiles smelled like, though she couldn't figure out why. Derek usually had no problem distinguishing scents and letting her know his opinions on them. He would've just come out and said it if Stiles smelled bad, or wrong. So why wasn't he telling her what he smelled like like?

Braeden began to set the table for three, hoping Stiles didn't bail on them, or invite a friend without telling them. She had no idea what this person was like, but Derek acted like the college student was an old friend.

“Hey, Brae?” Derek called from the living room. “Mr. Stilinski is here.”

Braeden glanced toward the kitchen door, but no one was there. Stiles must've come around to the front door, then. She smoothed her tank top down and checked her hair in the blurred reflection of the chrome refrigerator before heading into the living room.

She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, since no one had really described Stiles to her, but she hadn't expected Stiles to look quite as good as he did, with large, amber eyes and a crooked smile.

“Hi, Stiles,” she said with a wide smile as she offered her hand to the younger man, whom shook it quickly.

“Hi, uh, Braeden. It's nice to meet you.” Stiles sounded nervous and slightly unsure of himself.

“You, too, Stiles. I'm sorry it took so long, but work keeps me busy. Not that I'm complaining,” she said with a light laugh, “I love my job.”

“Yeah, Derek's told me.” Stiles replied, glancing over at the wolf quickly.

Braeden smiled at Derek and walked over to him, “Oh yeah? And just what have you told him, Derek?”

“Only the good things.” The werewolf assured her as he bent over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

Braeden rolled her eyes and lightly punched her boyfriend's shoulder. “Yeah, I'm sure.”

“Actually, if it makes you feel any better, Derek's kinda close-lipped about you.” Stiles quickly spoke up, but paused when Braeden turned to look at him. “I figured it was the job. You know, he can't say too much about you or he gets axed.” The younger male raised his hand and drew his finger across his neck.

Braeden turned back to Derek and gave him a dark look as he avoided her gaze. She rolled her eyes again and announced in a tight, clipped tone, “I'm going to check on dinner.”

She took long, quick steps into the kitchen and took a couple deep breaths. Stiles hadn't really said anything upsetting, but she hated knowing that while she was away at work, Derek and Stiles were getting close and forming a friendship. And a bond.

She heard the males coming her way, so she walked over to the cupboard and began to grab glasses from the lower shelf.

“What would you like to drink, Stiles? We have diet Pepsi, milk, orange juice, water and red and white wine.”

“Brae! He's pregnant with our baby! He can't have wine!” Derek snapped as he grabbed a bowl and slammed it down on the table so hard, a crack formed in the plastic.

Braeden covered her mouth with her hand and whispered an apology. “I always offer wine, I completely forgot.”

Derek turned to her, incredulity in his eyes. “How the hell could you forget that we're going to have a child in 9 months?”

The U.S. Marshal could barely contain her anger as she replied, her voice dark with rage, “Maybe because I don't trust that someone could be pregnant and stay that way. It's too early and pregnancy is too fragile, especially since its IVF! There's no trusting that Stiles will remain pregnant, so until we're in the clear, I will not float around on cloud nine acting like everything is peachy.”

Braeden looked at her equally angry boyfriend to the shell-shocked college student sitting at the kitchen island across from her. They remained silent and stared back at her. They looked at her as if she were the one causing a scene and making a huge deal out of nothing, which wasn't the case. She didn't have to put up with this, not when her boyfriend wasn't even trying to see her side of the situation.

“You know, I passed on leading a mission to come home and visit you and meet Stiles, but now I'm wondering if I should've put it off and waited until the pregnancy was stable.” She glared at Derek with harsh eyes. “It won't do any good to get attached if things don't progress as planned.”

The werewolf threw his hands into the air in exasperation. “Why are you acting like this, Braeden? We want kids! I thought we both were excited to be parents. What the hell is going on?”

Braeden felt her heart seize at her boyfriend's words and blinked back tears before they could form. “In case you forgot, Derek, we've already lost three children when they just became zygotes! I never got to gain pregnancy weight or talk to the bump and complain about morning sickness, swollen ankles or have random strangers ask to touch my stomach and ask how far along I was. I never got any of that!

“But what did I get instead? Positive pregnancy tests only to miscarry days later. Failed attempts at in vitro, more miscarriages and more heartbreak. And I will not apologize for not being all sunshine and rainbows because our surrogate has been pronounced pregnant for _one day_. It doesn't matter that he's two weeks along. Maybe I'll be happy when he makes the thirteen week mark, but for right _now_ , I feel nothing. I'm not getting attached or raising my hopes. I can't _take it_ , Derek.”

Braeden spun on her heel and walked toward the garage, slamming the door shut behind her as she grabbed her spare key from the hook hanging on the wall. She punched the button to raise the garage door as she walked over to her motorcycle. She snatched her helmet off the seat and buckled it on furiously before she straddled the bike and backed it out of the garage. She pushed the remote to lower the garage door and started the bike, revving it a couple of times before she hit the gas and sped down the driveway with squealing tires.

She didn't know where she was going or what she would do, since she had left her phone and wallet in the house. She guided the bike toward the highway, and hoped that driving would clear her head a bit, until she could face Derek again.

**XXXXXX**

The next morning, Braeden woke up as Derek was pulling a shirt on. She rubbed her eyes and reached for her phone. “What time is it?”

“It's really early, Brae. I'm just going for a quick jog, okay? I thought you might like to sleep in for a change.”

Braeden nodded and pulled more of the covers to her side of the bed. “Yeah, okay. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Braeden felt like she'd just dozed off when she awoke to the smell of breakfast. With a small smile, she pushed back the covers and slipped out of bed. She walked into the closet and pulled on a tank top and pair of yoga shorts. Her stomach rumbled and she decided to skip fixing her hair and using the bathroom, at least until she found out how far along breakfast was.

Braeden stretched and cracked her back before she left the master bedroom and lightly padded down the stairs, walked through the living room and into the kitchen.

Derek was standing with her back to her, buttering toast. “Morning, Brae,” he greeted her, putting the toast on a plate with eggs on it.

“Morning, Der,” She replied, walking over to stand by his side. She glanced at the clock on the stove and noted it was nearly 11 in the morning, and was surprised, since she rarely slept so late.

“I can't believe you let me sleep so long. It's nearly lunchtime.” She remarked as she took the plate he offered her, wrinkling her nose when she noticed there was only one, and he was putting away the bread and shutting off the stove. “Aren't you going to eat with me?”

Her boyfriend shook his head. “No, I had a protein shake before my run, and then had breakfast when I got back from picking a few things up from the store. I thought about waking you up, but I know you don't get to sleep in too often, or have a good night's rest, so I decided to just let you sleep.”

“Oh, alright.” Braeden set the plate down on the kitchen island and grabbed herself a fork. She raised an eyebrow at Derek as he set a glass of orange juice in front of her and began to walk away.

“Aren't you going to sit with me while I eat?”

Derek stopped and turned toward her slightly. “No, sorry. I'm going to go shower. I didn't get a chance to, yet, and my clothes are sticking to me. I'm gonna pass out from my own fumes if I don't get out of these clothes, soon.”

Braeden nodded and picked at her eggs as Derek began to jog up the stairs. She rarely came home anymore and when she did, she and Derek nearly spent all of their time together. She couldn't remember a single instance when Derek didn't share a meal with her, or let her stay in bed quite so late. Sure, she needed all the deep sleep she could get, but she also hated sleeping away her day.

She broke the yolk in both eggs and began to shovel them into her mouth, since they were already getting cold. As she ate, she wondered what Derek had been up to before he woke her up. Usually, he went for a jog and she would wake up and they'd have breakfast together. Derek had a schedule and he liked to keep to it, so why had he broken it today?

When had Derek changed his schedule, and how long ago had it changed?

Braeden finished off her toast and rinsed off the plate and fork before putting them in the dishwasher. She glanced at the clock and realized only a few minutes had passed. With a little luck, she could jump in the shower with Derek, if she hurried.

She ran lightly up the stairs, trying to keep her heartbeat even, so she wouldn't alert Derek to her plan. With a small smile in place, she entered the bedroom, only to frown as Derek entered the room as well, already wearing boxers.

“Hey, babe. The shower is all yours.” The werewolf said with a smile, brushing a kiss across her forehead as he walked past her toward the closet. “I'm going to get dressed and then go upstairs to make headway on the house I'm designing. Do you want to have dinner together tonight?”

Braeden folded her arms across her chest and said, “Yeah, that's fine. But we're going to be able to spend time together tomorrow, right?”

Derek flashed a quick smile her way as ran a towel across his chest. “Yeah, Brae. That's why I want to get some work done today, so we can have the whole day together tomorrow.”

Braeden sighed, “Alright. Works for me.”

Derek pulled on a shirt and a pair of loose basketball shorts before walking toward her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed a deep kiss to her lips. Before Braeden could lose herself in his touch, her boyfriend was pulling away.

“I'll probably be finished up around five, so we'll head out for dinner around 6, alright?” He asked, as he headed toward the door. “Maybe you could drop by and see Erica and Boyd today? Or check in on Isaac? He's really missed you.”

“I thought this trip was about getting to know Stiles.” Braeden pointed out.

“Yeah, but Stiles has midterms and school is really important to him. He's doing his best not to get stressed because he doesn't want anything to happen to the baby. But he should have a little bit of time to spend with us in a day or so. It doesn't do any good for him to be buried in school work all the time.”

Braeden nodded. “I guess,” she cut herself off with a sigh before continuing, “I guess I'll go for another ride today. And maybe stop by and visit Isaac. I miss him.”

“Sounds good, babe. Say goodbye before you go, alright?” Derek asked before he left the room.

“Alright.”

**XXXXXX**

Derek and Braeden spent the next two days together, just hanging around the house watching TV, browsing the Internet, going on jogs together, eating together, and of course, having mind-blowing sex.

Braeden had waited for Stiles to have an open opportunity to spend time with them, but he claimed he had to study for his midterms and was rarely around, spending most of his time at school and his job at the school store. When he finally got home in the late evening, he made excuses about studying for his midterms. She doubted the younger male was so dedicated to his education, and felt he was making up excuses. It was her job to be able to read people, and something seemed off about their studious surrogate, but she didn't want to bring it up with Derek. Her boyfriend seemed enamored with the young man.

Derek lay next to Braeden in bed, tired from their most recent round of sex, and straight from the shower. He was tracing a thumb over the exposed skin of her arm, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and conditioner deeply with every inhale.

“Der?” Braeden began, waiting for the alpha to let out a low, sated hum before she continued, “Do you think Stiles is avoiding me?”

The werewolf furrowed his brow. “No, he's just busy. He should be done studying for midterms soon, though. I think his last test was today.”

“Do you think he'll want to have dinner with us tonight? I really would like to get to know him before I have to go back to work.”

Derek sighed and leaned away from Braeden, stretching toward the bedside table where his phone was charging. “I'll text him and see if he has time to see us.”

“Good. And, if he's tired from midterms, maybe we could have breakfast or lunch with him tomorrow.”

The bearded male nodded as he finished typing and bent to press a kiss to the top of Braeden's head. “Thanks for trying, Brae. I know how hard all of this is for you, and I really appreciate the effort you're making. I know you and Stiles won't be around each other much, but it's still very important to me that you two like each other and get along.”

“I know, Der. I just hope we don't miscarry this time.”

“I'm sure we won't. Fourth time around...we're due for a baby.”

Braeden shook her head with a frown. “We've been due for three babies, Derek. And we have none to show for it. Even if this baby lives, it won't replace the ones we lost.”

“I know that, Brae, and I didn't say that. No baby could ever replace the ones we've lost, but that doesn't mean we should keep living in the past. There's nothing we can do to bring them back, and the best we can do is move forward.”

“How can you even _say_ that?!” Braeden demanded as she pushed herself into a sitting position. “It's not like we played the lottery and just didn't win. Or put in a bid for something and were outbid. We lost _children_. How do you just accept that and move on?!”

Derek sat up as well, rubbing his face tiredly. “I told you, Braeden. When I finally got counseling after the fire, the therapist helped me realize that I couldn't live in the past. No amount of bargaining, self-hatred and grieving would bring my family back. And I was wasting my own life by blaming myself for living. After we lost the second baby, and the third, I kept going to counseling. I talk through the issues I have and I deal with them.

“It doesn't mean I still don't get depressed or upset that we don't have our babies. It doesn't mean that I'm 'over' losing them. It just means I've acknowledged we lost them, accepted that there is nothing I can do to bring them back, and move on with my life.”

Braeden shook her head and settled back against the headboard. “I just can't do that, Der. I can't forget them, and I can't move on.” She swallowed thickly around the heavy ball forming in her throat. “I just don't understand why I can't carry them. I wanted them all so bad.”

“I know, Brae, it's okay.” Derek wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. “I know.”

Braeden settled against her boyfriend's chest and took deep, even breaths as she blinked back tears. “If Stiles carries this baby to term, that means there's something wrong with me, Der. And that this will be our only kid, unless we decide to adopt.”

“Or go through surrogacy again.”

“Is it worth the trouble, though?” She asked, looking up at the werewolf. “Maybe we should just count our blessings and be happy with our one.”

Derek shifted beneath her and took a deep breath before saying, “Brae, you know werewolves are pack animals. Having one kid would keep me settled for a little while, but I want a big family. A family like the one I grew up with.”

“But Isaac, Erica and Bo-”

“They're pack, and they're like my family, but they aren't my kids, Braeden. They're not going to call me dad, and I can't raise them and be called 'grandpa' one day by their kids. I want us to have kids, together.”

Braeden sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I don't think I can do this anymore, Derek. This is hard enough.”

“You're not even doing _anything_ , Braeden. You're off god-knows-where, working, while I'm here, in an empty house with limited contact to you.”

“Stop, we're not going over this again. You said you don't dwell on the past, well, this argument is _old_ , Derek. I'm not quitting my job. That's just not me, and you knew that when we first started dating. And yes, the house is empty, but it's _not_ my fault that we don't have a family. And what do you mean that I'm not doing anything? Dealing with the fact that I'm not the one carrying our child is a lot to deal with. And I'm not here, which is due to my job, but that doesn't mean I don't wish I could have it both ways, sometimes.”

Derek rolled off the bed and stood up. “I know, Braeden, but just because I don't dwell on the past doesn't mean that I'm okay with the fact that we've been pregnant three times and have nothing to show for it. No decorated nursery, toys, pictures or anything. And that hurts me.”

“I'm hurt, too.” Braeden told him, holding her face in her hands.

Derek climbed back onto the bed and wrapped his arm around Braeden's back, stroking his thumb along her thigh. “I know, babe.”

They sat together for a little while longer, each lost in their own thoughts, before Braeden broke the silence. “Did Stiles text you back, yet?”

The werewolf pulled away to check his phone. “No, not yet. Do you wanna go out and bring him something back, just in case he replies?”

Braeden stood up and walked over to the closet. “Yeah, do you know what he'd like?”

Derek shrugged and followed her, “A general idea. And I know what he should be eating, since he's pregnant. I'll find him something he likes.”

They were quiet as they got dressed together, sharing small smiles and kisses as they got ready to go out. Regardless of the time they spent apart, being together just felt right.

**XXXXXX**

**_BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!_ **

Derek leapt out of bed with a short howl, half-shifted and glancing around wildly. Braeden jumped off the bed as well, grabbed a hand gun from under the mattress, making sure to keep one finger on the trigger and another on the safety lock.

“What _is_ that?!” She shouted, aggravated, and on alert.

“Fire alarm. Check the door.” Derek ordered as he inhaled deeply. “I don't smell smoke.”

Braeden pressed the back of her hand to the door, away from the knob, to see if she felt any heat. “It's not hot. We should be fine.”

“Let's go.” Derek said before he jumped over the bed and wrapped an arm around Braeden's waist. He yanked open the door and Braeden braced herself, expecting to be met with fire or at least smoke, but there was nothing. “Come on, we need to get outside.”

They ran down the stairs together, Braeden keeping a tight hold on the gun the whole time. They ran out the front door and jogged toward the garage.

“Is the fire in the garage?” Braeden asked, glancing around the property for any sign of smoke or flames. “Where's Stiles?”

Derek shook his head, “No, I don't smell any smoke.” he started toward the house, “You stay here, I'm going to go get him.”

Braeden nodded and scanned the yard, keeping her back to the garage as Derek left her behind.

He ran through the living room, and into the kitchen. He grabbed a set of keys before dashing into the garage and up the stairs that led to Stiles' apartment. Derek nearly broke the doorknob in his haste to unlock the door, but managed to get it open.

The half-shifted werewolf vaulted into the apartment, heading immediately for the bedroom. “Stiles! Wake up!”

“Derek?!” he heard Stiles inhale sharply, and a heavy thunk as something hard hit the floor. Stiles reached out and smacked his forearm lightly, but likely left Stiles' hand stinging. “What the fuck are you doing? What is that noise?!”

“The fire alarm is going off, come on.” Derek wrapped his hand around Stiles' upper arm and began to pull him from the room, which only caused the younger man to trip. “Fuck, come on, Stiles.”

The human tried to balance himself, but his movements were sluggish compared to the speed Derek expected.

“Hold on, Der,” the brunette protested, “Der, I can't-”

Stiles yelped in the werewolf's ear as Derek lifted him and put the male over his shoulder. He carried him into the living room and through the back door of the apartment, allowing the door to swing shut behind him. He jogged down the stairs, reminding himself mentally not to jump the last half dozen steps with Stiles in his arms, especially since the man was pregnant. Derek darted around the side of the garage and set Stiles on his feet, keeping his hands close, in case Stiles couldn't hold himself up.

They younger man swayed on his feet, but managed to punch Derek's shoulder as he said, “What the hell, you brute?”

Derek felt like rolling his eyes. “There is a fire, Stiles! You're pregnant and were way too slow. I'm _not_ going to apologize for saving you and the baby.”

Stiles lowered his arm. “Where's Braeden?” he glanced toward the house, as if he expected the woman to be jumping from a window as smoke billowed out behind her.

Braeden lifted her free hand, keeping the one with the gun out of sight. Stiles barely made eye contact, but Derek could sense that the younger man was embarrassed, although he didn't understand why.

“Do you smell smoke?” Stiles asked, sounding a bit nervous.

“No, nothing.” Derek said with a shake of his head, but Stiles was looking down and didn't notice. “But I had the fire alarms installed through the alarm company, so a firetruck should be on it's way and they'll make sure.”

“Can I go grab some clothes real quick? The fire hasn't spread to the garage.”

Derek stared at the younger man incredulously. “No! Are you stupid? You can't risk yourself like that!” The alpha reprimanded the human harshly. “Besides, the fire alarm also sounds like the carbon monoxide alarm, so you're not risking yourself or the baby just to grab some fucking clothes!” Derek snapped, shooting Stiles a dirty look before continuing, “How the hell are you going into law enforcement when you're this slow on the uptake and have no common sense?”

“My brain is a little fried out from midterms, still, and I didn't know about the carbon monoxide, Derek! Jesus.” Stiles retorted before he walked over to the garage to stand next to Braeden, glaring at the alpha as sirens pierced the night air.

Derek's ears pricked as he estimated how far away the wailing sirens were. “They're still at least a minute away.” Derek sighed as he focused his energy into retracting his claws and teeth as his wolfish facial features smoothed out.

He caught Stiles shiver and walked over to stand between the humans. He wrapped an arm around both of them and pulled them to his chest so they could steal some of his body heat. He was surprised when he didn't see the gun in Braeden's hand anymore, but she just smiled mischievously up at him.

“So, uh, Braeden, would you be interested in a threesome?” Stiles whispered.

Derek resisted the urge to smack the back of the younger male's head.

“What?!” Braeden snapped, her tone a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

“I was just wondering!” Stiles defended himself hastily as Derek laughed quietly, his chest rising and bumping against Stiles' chin as the man ducked his head.

“I told you he was a flirt.” Derek reminded his girlfriend smugly when Braeden raised her brown eyes to glare at him.

“You really know how to pick them, Der.” Braeden drawled sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

“Thanks, Braeden.”

“That _wasn't_ a compliment, Stiles.”

“Was too!” The human argued, “He picked you, after all!”

“Oh, sweetie, he didn't pick me!” Braeden shouted over the sirens as the firetruck pulled into the driveway. “We fell for each other.”

Derek could faintly hear Stiles and Braeden talking as he approached the firetruck and began to shout to the firefighters over the wails of the siren, but he didn't bother to strain his ears and listen in. His head was already pounding from the volume of the alarms on the truck as he tried to block them out and focus on what the firefighters were saying.

The firefighters decided to go into the building and check it over before they'd allow them back in. They shut off the siren at Derek's request, but left the lights on. It took almost an hour before the small group came back out of the house and reported no sign of any fire, spark or carbon monoxide readings. They gave them the all clear and told Derek to speak to the alarm company about the faulty alarm, which he assured them he would. It may have gone off this time, despite there not being any danger, but he didn't want to risk it malfunctioning when there _was_ a fire or carbon monoxide leak.

Derek and Braeden led the way into the house, allowing Stiles to follow them quietly. After Stiles had shut the door and collapsed on the couch, Derek pulled Braeden to the stairs.

“Der, I meant to tell you before we fell asleep, but my supervisor called me in last night. I've got to catch a flight first thing in the morning or they're putting me on paperwork duty.”

“What? I thought you had a few more days. You've barely even got to know Stiles.”

“I know, and if it were up to me, I wouldn't go, but I'm not letting someone lead my team while I'm stuck doing filing at a desk at the home office. That's just not going to happen.”

“Fine. I'll be up soon.” Derek said with a heavy sigh before walking away from the stairs.

“Goodnight, Derek. Goodnight, Stiles.” Braeden called softly as she walked up the steps and padded across the landing, shutting the master bedroom door quietly.

Derek ran his hand over his face in exhaustion and sighed, “She's going on that mission first thing tomorrow morning.”

“What? Why?” Stiles asked, and Derek could hear the human's heart beat slow. “Is it because I hit on her? Because I was ju-”

“No, Stiles, I explained it to her and she knows you were joking. She just...she can't stick around.” Derek cut the younger man off.

“Why not? Because she's working or is it for personal reasons?”

Derek cast him a quick glance and tried to change the subject, “Aren't you tired, Stiles?”

The pregnant male shook his head. “No, I'm a little rattled and won't be able to fall asleep for awhile. Why don't you fill me in?”

“Fill you in on what?” Derek asked with a frown.

“I don't know! Your life story? Her story? Why you freaked out so much even though you didn't smell smoke?” Stiles seemed to pick up on the werewolf's aggravation and sighed. “Make some tea, or hot chocolate.”

“What? Why? It's three in the morning.”

“Because that's what they do in movies when there's a traumatic event late at night. Unless it's a British show, then they always make a cuppa no matter what time it is or what the circumstances are.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “We're not British and I don't have any hot chocolate.”

“Okay, two things. First off, the world would not be able to _handle_ you with a British accent. Panties would fly off, ovaries would explode and there would be cum and pussy juice everywhere.” Stiles swatted at him as Derek laughed and sat down next to the lithe male on the couch. “It's every bisexuals dream!”

“Between my relationship with Braeden and you flirting with me, I'm good, everyone else can keep their juice and cum to themselves.” Derek said with a small smile. He was desperate to change the subject, so he could stop the visualization of the younger male in his bed, glistening with sweat and covered in mixture of their cum. “What was the other thing?”

“Second, how the hell do you not have hot chocolate? It's the best thing ever! I so have to go to the store now and buy some.”

“Just add it to your weekly shopping list and I'll pick it up for you.” Derek suggested as he grabbed a throw blanket off the back of the couch and pulled it over himself, offering a corner to Stiles, who took it and scooted closer to the werewolf so he could share more of the blanket.

They were quiet for a few moments as Derek allowed himself to study Stiles. The younger man was smaller than him, but he was still lightly muscled and had a bit of power to him. He smelled like a mixture of different scents, with Derek only being able to name a select few. Mostly, the younger man smelled like pack, which the werewolf took great comfort in. 

“How were midterms? I meant to ask earlier.”

“Hmmm?” Stiles shrugged sleepily, and leaned his head back against the couch and shut his eyes. “Fine, I guess. I'll find out by next Friday. I think I did well enough.”

“That's good.” Derek replied softly, throwing his arm over the back of the couch and letting his fingertips brush against Stiles' bare shoulder. “Hey, Stiles?”

“Yeah?” The brunette questioned, the word breathy at the end, like he was just about to nod off.

“Do you really want to know why I practically broke down your door tonight?”

“I assumed it was because you thought the house was on fire.” Stiles said, lifting his head to peer at the werewolf, cocking his eyebrow in the process. “Or was this all some sort of wacky surrogate hazing?”

“What? No! That'd be sick.” Derek snapped, shooting the human a dark look of disgust. “I meant why I overreacted and almost broke the door instead of staying calm and using a key or just knocking on the door.”

“Yes, I would, since you're usually in control of your wolfish tendencies. Why'd you do that?” Stiles said slowly, cocking his head to the side.

Derek's intense green eyes studied Stiles' amber colored eyes, the slope of his nose, and his mole-riddled cheeks and neck. The werewolf dragged his gaze across the younger male's pale, slightly dry lips before meeting those deep amber eyes eyes again. “Because my family died in a fire.”

Stiles was silent, lost in his own thoughts, before he reached out and rested his hand on Derek's. “How'd it happen?”

Derek took a few calming breaths before he began, “My, much older, girlfriend at the time turned out to be a hunter and was only using me to get close and find out about my family. She and a couple of her friends trapped my family in our house with mountain ash and set it on fire.

“My sister, Laura, was already in her first year of college and I had just gotten my license, so our parents let me go pick her up and they were waiting for us back home because it was the first time we'd see Laura since she left for school. When Laura and I pulled in the driveway we found firemen swarming the house and were told that the only person that had survived was our uncle Peter. He never recovered from the burns and lives in a long term care facility. Due to his werewolf healing, he's not on life support, but he has an IV drip for nutrients and is unable to respond to anyone at all.”

Derek swallowed thickly and internally cringed as his voice wavered, “The fire killed our parents, our younger sister, Cora, my uncle's wife and their two kids; my cousins. Laura and I thought we were coming back to a happy get-together and arrived to find out we're orphaned and lost most of our family. Both sets of grandparents had already passed and our dad was an only child, so we were on our own, not counting Peter.”

Derek thought about his parents and younger sister, whom were expecting to celebrate Laura's visit and Derek's basketball game, but had choked on smoke and went up in flames, instead. He could imagine his parents, aunt and uncle taking turns between comforting Cora and his cousins, while looking for a way to escape. Derek was snapped out of his morbid thoughts as the scent of saltwater permeated the air. He looked over to see Stiles hastily wiping at his cheeks.

“Stiles, it's okay,” Derek reassured him quietly, as he wrapped an arm over the younger male's shoulders and pulling him closer. “Don't cry.”

His words fell on deaf ears as the brunette began to sob. “I should be consoling _you_! I can't imagine how awful it would be to come home to find your family dead!” Stiles rubbed at his watering eyes harshly, as if he could shove the tears back into his tear ducts. “How old were you?”

“Sixteen,” Derek answered, his voice low. “Laura had just turned nineteen.”

“Sixteen?” Stiles gasped. “What did you do after?”

Derek shrugged. The worst part of the story was behind him, and he had no problem sharing his past with Stiles. “I went into the foster care system for a little while and Laura petitioned for custody. Once the paperwork went through, and was approved, I moved in with her. We lived in a tiny, crappy studio apartment while I finished up high school and she went to college. At twenty-one she got her inheritance and finished college. She lives in San Francisco and is the CEO of a small ad agency.”

Stiles frowned. “And she gave up her right to be an alpha to you?”

Derek nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, mom had taught all of us the basics and was actually training Laura to take over, but after the fire, Laura wanted nothing to do with being an alpha and starting a pack. Her wolf was at war with her, unsettled without the strength of a pack, but she couldn't bear to start a new family when she had lost her own.

“Meanwhile, my wolf was unsettled by having such a small pack and was uneasy all the time. Plus, unlike Laura, I wanted to rebuild the Hale pack. Laura considered it to be replacing our family that had died, but I saw, and still see it as, starting over. My pack doesn't replace my family, even though I do love them like family.”

Stiles shook his head. “I can't imagine how awful it must've been to go through that. Losing your family and to feel so lonely...”

“Well, I had Laura, and, after she received her inheritance she got us both counseling, so that really helped, though we healed in different ways. One night, when I was driving home from visiting her, I stopped at a gas station to fill my tank and I found Isaac. He was just as lonely as I was and had a shitty childhood, so I told him I'd make him a werewolf and promised him a better life, but he had to be my beta and part of my pack. He agreed and I changed him and he came home with me, but Isaac had serious abandonment issues. Braeden and I had just gotten together and he thought she would replace him, so I wanted him to have a more stable home, where he felt he could belong. I asked Chris Argent if he knew anybody who'd be willing to take in a minor werewolf, and he ended up taking Isaac in. When Chris took Isaac to France it drove me crazy to have a member of my pack so far away and gone for so long.

“While Isaac was gone he told me about his friend that had seizures and asked if the bite would cure her and when I said it would, he asked me to turn her. I was lonely and miserable with Isaac in France, Laura starting her business in San Francisco, and Braeden was gone for six months on a mission, so I met with Isaac's friend and she agreed to the bite and to be part of the pack, but only if I bit her boyfriend, too. I agreed and they joined my pack. After that, I stopped because I felt more at ease and stable than I had in years, even though I was basically an alpha solely training teenage, feral puppies.”

Stiles let out a snort of laughter. “Will I get to meet the rest of your pack, including your sister?” 

Derek smiled, happy that Stiles was so interested in his past and family, and wanted to meet his pack. He'd done well when he picked Stiles as a surrogate.

“Yeah, I want them to meet you. We usually have pack meetings every Sunday and they come over to run on the full moon, but Erica and Boyd are both busy with their own lives and Laura only visits for a weekend about every two months, but yeah, I plan on you meeting them.”

Derek's eyes followed Stiles' hand as it settled on his lower abdomen. “I hope the baby never has to experience loss like we've suffered.”

Derek put his hand on Stiles' over the blanket and squeezed the smaller fist lightly. “They won't. We'll make sure of it.”

“I know you and Braeden will, but sometimes, things happen. We never expected my mom to get Frontotemporal dementia, but it happened. You can't protect them from everything.” Stiles had a deep sadness in his eyes and seemed despondent.

“No, that's true,” Derek conceded as tiredness creeped over him. The alpha werewolf shifted his body, burrowing deeper into the couch, and pulled the smaller male closer to him, as his eyes drifted shut. “But I will try my damnedest.”

Derek took deep, even breaths, inhaling the scent of the human against his side and under his arm. There was something about Stiles' scent that just made him feel at ease, and content. He had no problem drifting off to sleep, forgetting that his girlfriend was upstairs in their bed, sleeping alone. He forgot that she would be leaving in the morning and he wouldn't get to sleep next to her one last time before she left.

All the alpha could think of was how comfortable he felt, and how easy it was to nod off with Stiles by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a lot longer, and the first chapter I wrote after recovering from my most recent, and darkest, bout of depression. As you can see, I kind of got back in the swing of things, here.
> 
> I hope you all love it, and please leave a review and tell me what you thought. I'd really appreciate it!


	8. Oct. 16-18, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter corresponds to chapter 9 of "Through the Dark".

##### Friday, October 16, 2015

Braeden awoke with a jerk as the alarm on her phone chimed from beneath her pillow. She yawned as she reached for it, and upon finding it, tapped 'disarm'. She rolled over to see if the alarm had woken Derek up, but he wasn't in bed.

She sat up and deactivated the other alarms she had set in case she had slept through the first one. Leaving her phone on the charger, she walked into the bathroom, started the shower, and stripped while the water heated up.

Braeden would definitely miss the incredibly comfortable mattress, the perfectly even temperature of the house, the warm showers, fridge full of food, and being with Derek. However, all of that was only nice as a break, in measured doses. Braeden couldn't bear to live like that all of the time. She'd never live the life she wanted here. She wanted action, adventure and danger.

There wasn't much action in the little town where she and Derek lived.

After checking the water temperature, Braeden stepped under the spray and let out a light sigh. Of all the things she'd miss, hot water was high on the list. Right after Derek, of course.

She ran through the checklist she had running in her head. It was almost 6 AM, and she had already packed, but she wanted to grab breakfast before her flight left. Sometimes, Derek would drop her off at the airport, but most of the time she took a cab, which was what she was taking today. The cab was scheduled to arrive at 6:45, which would give her plenty of time to get breakfast, check in, get through customs and catch her flight at 8.

Braeden enjoyed her time in the shower, appreciating the luxury of warm water as she washed her hair and body. She knew she was going to run late if she took too long, so she hurriedly shut off the water and jumped out of the shower.

She wished she had time to deep condition her hair, but she'd be on the plane for almost half a day before she arrived to her wherever her next mission was scheduled. There wasn't time and it wasn't worth the effort, so she brushed it out and pulled in into a low ponytail, allowing it to air-dry naturally.

Braeden frowned as she entered the bedroom. She knew Derek went on daily runs, but he usually didn't miss seeing her off before she left, especially since they never knew how long it'd be before she could get another break again.

With a shake of her head, Braeden walked over to the closet and picked out an outfit that would be comfortable and not draw too much attention. She had no idea if she had enemies where she was going, and it would be best if she blended in as much as possible.

After she had finished getting dressed, Braeden grabbed her gun from under the mattress and put it back in the safe in the closet. Derek didn't like it laying around, and Braeden would rather have it locked away than lying around for Aprille or Lena to come across by accident.

Glancing around the room one last time, Braeden grabbed her cell phone and its charger, along with her wallet and suitcase before leaving the room. She hefted it down the stairs and began to roll it through the living room, but stopped once she caught sight of the two men on the couch.

Derek and Stiles were sleeping on the couch, side-by-side, and sharing a blanket. Stiles was curled into her boyfriend's side, the younger man's head cradled in the crook of the werewolf's arm and his cheek was resting on Derek's slowly rising and falling chest. Derek's head was tilted back against the cushion, with soft rumbles issuing from deep in his throat as he slept soundly.

Braeden was shocked. She had assumed Derek was on his morning jog, and had no idea Stiles had stayed inside the house last night. It hurt a little to know that Derek had chose to spend his girlfriend's last night at home with their surrogate, but she was sure he had a good reason. Derek was a decent person and a wonderful boyfriend. He would never do anything to purposely hurt her, nor would he sneak around behind her back.

Knowing something in her head, but feeling a twisting sensation in her heart made Braeden unsure. She knew Derek was bisexual, and thought she remembered him mentioning that Stiles was, as well. She also knew that a bond would form between Stiles and Derek during the pregnancy and would grow to support the baby.

She accepted that.

It just didn't make leaving any easier.

Braeden contemplated waking Derek up and telling him goodbye, but decided against it. If her boyfriend's internal clock hadn't woken him up to go on his morning run, then he probably needed the sleep, especially since he'd been on an adrenaline high last night, due to the fire alarm malfunctioning. He could catch up on the sleep he lost, and maybe strengthen the bond between himself and the baby at the same time.

A horn honked loudly from outside the house, and Braeden almost jumped. Her eyes darted from the front door to Derek, as he was roused from sleep.

“Brae?” He whispered quietly, his voice hoarse and deep from lack of use. “What time is it?”

“6:45, that's my cab.” She whispered back as she walked toward him. “I've got to go.”

“Oh,” Derek frowned and furrowed his brow as he blinked and assessed the situation. He glanced from the younger man sleeping deeply on his chest, to his girlfriend, freshly showered, packed and ready to walk out the door. He tilted his head up and gestured for her to lean down.

They kissed briefly, barely anything more than a peck on the lips, aware they weren't in a position for anything deeper, and Derek hadn't brushed his teeth yet.

“Text me when you get to the airport, okay? And call me when you get to wherever you're going.”

Braeden nodded and ignored the longer honk that came from outside the house, focusing her attention on the young male next to, and practically on top of, her boyfriend. She lightly ran her fingers through Stiles' messed up hair and smiled when the younger man wrinkled his nose and nestled deeper into the crook of the werewolf's arm.

“Take care of him, okay?” she whispered, pulling back her hand and leaning down for another quick kiss.

“Love you,” Derek mumbled tiredly against her lips.

“I love you, too.” Braeden replied with a small smile as the horn honked again. “I've gotta go. I don't want them to leave me.” she grabbed her suitcase and began walking toward the front door. “Want me to lock it?”

“Yeah, please. I'm gonna try and sleep a little more. Stiles seems exhausted.”

“Okay, bye, Derek.”

“Bye, Brae.”

Braeden locked the door before pulling it shut behind her. She walked toward the cab, an apologetic smile on her lips and waved at the driver as he popped the trunk to help put her suitcase away.

“Running late, ma'am?” He asked, slightly annoyed.

Braeden nodded and slid into the backseat. “Just saying goodbye.”

**XXXXXX**

**Saturday, October 17, 2015**

Derek tapped at his phone as he contemplated his plans for tomorrow. Sundays were pack meeting days, but he was considering canceling. Again. It wasn't that he didn't want the pack to meet Stiles. He desperately wanted to tell them all about Stiles and have them meet his surrogate, but he didn't want to stress the young human out. 

Between Stiles' midterms, Braeden's visit, the fire alarm fiasco and Stiles starting to have morning sickness, Derek was sure the young human was near the end of his rope as far as new and unexpected events were concerned.

The werewolf let out a heavy sigh and glanced at the blueprints spread out across his desk. He'd been making progress, but they still needed some tweaking before he would be satisfied enough to show them to his client and green light the construction process.

He figured he'd just hold off on the next couple of pack meetings, at least until the pregnancy was more stable and Stiles had adjusted to his new living arrangements, dealing with morning sickness, and being pregnant in general.

Since yesterday morning when Stiles had woken up next to Derek on the couch, the younger man seemed to be avoiding him, not that Derek would blame him. It'd been pretty weird waking up on the couch and finding Stiles next to him, instead of being in bed with Braeden. He also found it odd that he had slept so well on the couch, despite his upright position and acting as a body pillow for the carrier of his child.

Stiles had seemed embarrassed, so Derek had offered to start making breakfast for them and let the human process what had happened, and get use to his surroundings. They never discussed falling asleep and waking up together. Derek had been sure Stiles was avoiding him, and felt upset when Stiles informed him that he wasn't sure if he was allowed in the house, like he was some dirty secret and had to stay holed up in the garage apartment.

Derek honestly had no idea what he had said or done that had given Stiles that impression, although he should've known better. Stiles hadn't felt comfortable enough to come into the house through the garage the first night he met Braeden, so he had obviously been feeling like a stranger since he moved in.

Stiles didn't seem to be aware of how close the bond brought them, either. He had no clue that Derek was now attuned to his scent, voice and heartbeat. So long as the human was within a few miles range, he'd be able to track Stiles easily, not that the older man thought there would be a time when he would need to do so.

Derek would have to make an effort to make sure Stiles was comfortable enough to feel at home with him. He just wasn't sure how to go about doing that.

**XXXXXX**

A few hours later, Derek had finished up work for the day, and decided to cancel pack meetings until further notice, and take Sunday off and get to know Stiles a bit more. He could tackle more of his client's remodeling on Monday.

Derek had just left his home office when his cell phone began to ring. He took the phone out of his pocket and frowned when he realized it was Allison, whom was suppose to be out with Stiles. He accepted the call and brought the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Derek, it's Allison,”

“Hey-”

“We're going to the hospital. Something is wrong with Stiles.” Allison said, her voice breathy.

Derek felt his stomach plummet toward his knees as his heart skipped several beats. It took him a second to recover, but once he processed her words, he started running down the stairs. “Wait for me, I'll be right there, where are you?”

He heard Allison relay his message to someone, probably Stiles, but a second later, she was back. “Derek, meet us at Mercy Health Hospital, okay? We can't wait.”

“Okay, I'm on my way.” Derek said and ended the call.

The alpha darted into the living room and snatched his wallet and keys off the end table and locked the front door before running through the kitchen and into the garage, locking the door behind him as he hit the button to raise the garage door. He jumped into the driver's seat of the Camaro and jammed the key into the ignition. He turned the key sharply, nearly breaking it, but he managed to keep his strength in check as the engine roared to life. Derek backed out of the garage and hit the button to lower the garage door before shifting the car into drive and tearing down the long driveway.

He wasn't exactly sure where the hospital was, but he knew the general location. It was still about twenty minutes from his house, though.

Derek barely came to a complete stop at any of the stop signs he encountered, and cursed every red light he hadn't managed to avoid before he merged with traffic on the highway. He cut off a semi truck and barely glanced in the review mirror as the irate trucker blew the horn at him. He weaved in and out of traffic, blowing around slow cars and grinding his teeth at the asshole driver that purposely cut him off just to go slow once they were in front of him, and he was boxed in by a slower driver on his right. Derek swore in frustration and leaned on the horn until the person on his right finally slowed down enough for Derek to cut them off and speed past the asshole in the left lane.

Suddenly, Derek felt a tingle of pain, and heard a quiet whimper. The pain didn't hurt, per say, as if it were just an illusion of pain. And the whimper was barely a whisper that disappeared just as quickly.

His heart was pounding in his chest and he could barely hold back his shift. His wolf wanted to take over, but Derek knew that would just land him in trouble. He couldn't resort to his instincts at a time like this. He had to exercise control, no matter how badly he wanted to shift.

His first priority was Stiles, and making sure he was okay.

Derek followed the signs pointing to the hospital. Every few seconds, the pain became more intense and the whimpers grew louder. The werewolf quickly pulled into the emergency room parking lot, threw the car into park and stumbled from the Camaro. He locked the doors with the remote on his key chain as he sprinted toward the automatic sliding doors. He could now smell Stiles over the scent of cleaners the hospital used.

The werewolf strode into the lobby and nearly winced as the tingle of pain increased. “Stiles?!” He called as he laid eyes on the human, in the lap of another man. A _werewolf_.

Derek crossed the room and stood in front of the human and the surrogate, his hands lingering a few centimeters above Stiles' skin, as he debated touching Stiles or not. He wasn't sure where the human was hurt, or why he was hurt. He didn't want to risk injuring him further.

“Derek, I'm sorry,” Stiles sobbed. “I'm sorry.”

The overwhelming need to comfort the distraught brunette propelled Derek into action. He swept Stiles into his own arms and sat down on the bench as he brought the human as close to him as possible. Derek bowed his head and pressed his nose against Stiles' neck, breathing deeply as he scent-marked the younger male. Stiles' neck had a thin layer of sweat that smelled slightly sour, the kind commonly produced by panic, fear, rejection and heart ache. He also caught the scent of the other werewolf, and it wasn't an entirely unfamiliar scent.

Derek's eyes bled red as he snapped his gaze to the werewolf sitting next to him, whom held up his hands in surrender, with a small nod toward Stiles. “I just met him at the bar tonight. I didn't do anything to him.”

Derek exhaled slowly and blinked as his vision returned to normal. “I'm sorry.” he whispered to the other were', before cuddling Stiles closer as the human began to whimper.

“I need your insurance card.” Allison said faintly, her brown eyes trained on her friend.

Derek swallowed thickly and glided his hand down Stiles' hip to the male's back pocket, fishing out the younger man's wallet and handing it to Allison before running his hand up and down Stiles' back in a calming motion. Stiles' whimpers rose feebly in pitch, and Derek responded with soft, soothing rumbles.

“You need to put your hand on his stomach and absorb his pain.” The other alpha werewolf chimed in as Allison stood to give the receptionist the papers along with Stiles' insurance card and driver's license.

Derek quickly maneuvered Stiles so he could get his arm between them and support him with his other hand. He placed his large hand on Stiles' stomach and winced as his healing powers absorbed the pain from the sobbing, shivering man in his arms.

“I forget your name, but you're part of the Griffith pack, right?” Derek asked quietly as he adjusted his position so Stiles was leaning into him at a more comfortable angle and able to lean into him without support. He ran his free hand through the dark brown hair that was slightly greasy with sweat, and scratched gently at the human's roots.

“Yeah, I'm Jace. My father passed the title to me two years ago. You're Hale, right?” The blond werewolf shook his head minutely. “I thought I recognized the scent on Stiles, but I couldn't remember where I had smelled it before.”

Derek shifted in his seat as Allison sat down next to him and peered over his shoulder at Stiles. “What's wrong with him? I had to describe his symptoms on the form and I just put 'stomach pains', but he looks awful.”

Derek's eyes narrowed and he pressed his nose to the damp, sweaty skin on Stiles' neck, taking deep, measured breaths. He caught the same sour scent as before, but a faint undertone of something that had less to do with emotions and pheromones. The bearded werewolf drifted his nose across Stiles' collar bone, down the human's chest and stomach to his hips where the scent was so strong, a heavy metallic taste coated Derek's tongue.

He froze for a split second as realization hit him and he sat up quickly, doing his best not to jostle Stiles. “He's bleeding.”

Derek trembled, but tried to contain it. He'd been through this before with Braeden, although he hadn't been in the room with her each time she had miscarried, he knew what this meant. No wonder Stiles had been apologetic. It was hardly the younger man's fault.

Derek couldn't help the wave of disappointment that washed over him. He had hoped that Stiles would be able to carry their baby. It had hardly been a week since they found out he was pregnant and he was already losing his and Braeden's child.

Allison jumped up from the bench and jogged to the receptionist's desk. Derek stood up slowly, and took his hand away from Stiles' stomach so he could get a better grip on the younger male. He'd force his way into the ER, protocol be damned.

Luckily, a nurse entered the waiting room and called Stiles' last name. Derek took long strides to meet her at the door. “This way, we'll be in room four.”

Derek trailed behind the smaller woman, allowing her to lead the way. “He has extreme abdominal cramps and I'm sure he's bleeding. I think he's miscarrying.” He informed her as he entered the room she had indicated.

The nurse frowned as she followed him into the room. “Men shouldn't get pregnant.”

Derek's eyes flashed red as he gently set Stiles down on the examination table, making sure the brunette wasn't caused any additional pain before he reeled around and bared his canines at the suddenly, and rightfully, fearful nurse.

“Find me a fucking doctor and shove your bigotry up your ass.” he growled loudly, snapping his sharp teeth at the woman as she spun on her heel and jogged from the room.

“Der, no.” Stiles moaned quietly.

Derek's heart thumped wildly in his chest as he walked toward the examination table Stiles had curled up on. He stood to the side, with Stiles' back to him, and slipped his hand between the man's thighs and chest, moving down slowly to rest on Stiles' stomach as he began to absorb the younger man's pain once again.

“Stiles, it's okay,” the werewolf assured him quietly as tears pricked his own eyes. He didn't bother to blink them away.

The fair-skinned male shook his head and raised his large, brown, doe eyes to the werewolf as his chin trembled and his lips quivered. “I'm sorry, Derek. I'm so-o s-sorry!”

The alpha hushed the human softly while shaking his head. “It's not your fault, Stiles.”

Stiles seemed to be ignoring the werewolf, as he shook his head from side to side with his eyes clenched tightly shut. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes before slowly trailing down the younger male's cheeks as he whimpered quietly in pain.

A tall, thin man with dark skin and a closely shaved haircut entered the room with a clipboard in hand, with dark eyes perusing its contents. He set the folder down on a stand and walked over to the sink to wash and dry his hands before putting on blue latex gloves.

“Hello, gentlemen. I'm Dr. Wallace, what seems to be the problem?” He asked in a deep, soothing voice.

Stiles curled in on himself even more and let out a sob, “I'm I-,” he gasped for air before blurting out, “Miscarriage.”

Dr. Wallace approached the exam table and had Stiles uncurl and shooed Derek's hand away. Derek's eyes flashed red and he bared his elongated teeth at the doctor.

The doctor's eyes flashed gold. “Sir, do not make me have you forcefully removed from this room. I need to examine your partner to diagnose him.”

Derek stepped back to stand near Stiles' head and rested his hand on the younger man's shoulder, and squeezed it lightly in reassurance. He didn't bother to correct the doctor about Stiles being his partner. He was reacting defensively due to the bond between them. The same bond that would disappear once the miscarriage was complete. If Stiles was really miscarrying, which Derek knew to be true. He'd have to be a fool to believe otherwise.

“When was your last period and when did you get pregnant, Mr. Stilinski?” The doctor asked as he Velcroed the blood pressure cuff to Stiles' arm, placed the stethoscope to his ears and the diaphragm to Stiles' inner arm.

It took a few seconds for Stiles to think before he rushed to answer, his voice breathy, “Period started September twenty-first and ended on the twenty-sixth, IVF transfer was, um,” Stiles raised his head slowly and peered over his shoulder at the werewolf standing behind him.

“The transfer took place on the twenty-eighth and he was confirmed pregnant just this past Sunday, the eleventh.” The alpha replied, his voice tight.

Dr. Wallace hummed thoughtfully and removed the blood pressure cuff before coaxing Stiles into a sitting position. The doctor slipped a thermometer into his patient's mouth and under his tongue before he lifted the human's shirt. He pressed the diaphragm to Stiles' pectorals and had him take deep breaths as he listened to his lungs and heart. The doctor stood up and wrapped the stethoscope around his neck and removed the thermometer, frowning at the result before scribbling away in a messy scrawl on a sheet of paper.

“Mr. Stilinski, lean back on the table for me, okay? Pull your shirt up again, too, please.”

Derek leaned over to help Stiles bunch up his shirt and gently lowered the male back on the table, knowing Stiles was too shaky to do so himself. The doctor placed his hand on Stiles' abdomen and tapped it with two fingers, repeating the motion several times across Stiles' lower abdomen and down his body, right above the hemline of his boxers and jeans.

“Mr. Stilinski, your file said you're experiencing cramps, is that right?”

Stiles nodded and said, “I've felt twinges for days, but figured it was just an upset stomach. This morning I had really bad morning sickness and I had light cramps all day, but figured I was constipated or something. But it got worse and it really hurts.” Stiles brushed away a few tears before he added, “And when I used the bathroom an hour ago, I noticed blood and came here.”

Dr. Wallace jotted something down before standing up. “Gentlemen, I'll be right back, sit tight.”

Stiles moaned as the door shut behind the doctor and threw his arm over his eyes. Derek shuffled closer to the bed and placed his large, warm palm over Stiles' lower abdomen and began to absorb the pain again.

“No!” Stiles snapped, and flung his arm down to bat away the werewolf's hand. “Don't do that!”

“What? Why?” The alpha asked, a bit bewildered at the human's reaction. He grabbed both of Stiles' wrists with one hand and put his free hand back on the man's stomach.

“No!” the brunette whined, as he shifted his hips, wriggling his body as he weakly bucked his hips in another attempt to dislodge the other man's hand. “Stop it!”

“Stiles, calm down!” Derek ordered, a hint of a growl seeping into his words. “I'm trying to take away the pain.”

The human sniffled and his arms tugged weakly against the alpha's strong, but gentle, grip on his wrists.“I don't deserve to not feel pain. I'm losing your child! I'm sorry!”

“Shhh, it's not your fault, Stiles. It's okay.”

“No. It's. NOT!” Stiles shouted, raising his legs to kick at the werewolf in a shocking burst of adrenaline. “You're losing another baby and it's all my fault!”

“It's no one's fault, Stiles. IVF is high-risk and with Braeden's history we knew it was possible, we just hoped for a miracle.” Derek honestly had no idea what to do. He wanted to order Stiles to stop, but the man wasn't a werewolf and wouldn't be affected by an alpha's command. He didn't want the younger man to risk hurting himself, either.

Stiles shook his head and stopped fighting against the larger male as sobs wracked his body. “You deserve a miracle.”

A sharp rap sounded on the door and the doctor reentered with a nurse.

“Is everything alright?” The tall doctor asked, raising an eyebrow at Derek's hand wrapped around Stiles' wrists and the human sobbing brokenly on the exam table.

Derek glared at the doctor, his eyes still red and his canines extended as he growled. He could tell the nurse with him was another werewolf, but something about her smelled off. The doctor shook his head as his own eyes flashed gold once again and the nurse's eyes turned blue. Derek snapped at her and rounded the examination table to stand in front of Stiles. He wasn't going to let a killer near his surrogate. Miscarriage or not, surrogate or not, pack or not, Stiles was important to him and he'd be damned if he let the woman anywhere near him.

“Get away from him,” Derek ordered lowly as his claws extended and he completed his half-shift.

Dr. Wallace stood in front of the petite nurse. “Sir, Nurse Cline is not a threat to you nor your partner. Her background is classified, but I assure you we wouldn't have accepted her if she were a threat to any of our patients.”

“Please, sir, I just need to take the patient's blood sample to test his hCG, human Chorionic Gonadotropin, levels. They're his pregnancy hormone levels and if he's not producing any, we'll know if he's losing the baby.”

Derek remained in front of Stiles, debating his move, when the human spoke up from behind him, “Let her through, Der. We need to know.”

The alpha snarled and allowed his wolf attributes to melt away, but his red eyes remained as he rounded the table to stand at Stiles' side. Derek slipped his hand under the younger male's shirt and resumed his task of absorbing the human's pain while he carded his fingers through the Stiles' hair, soothing him with low growls and comforting rumbles.

Logically, Derek knew Stiles was only human and wasn't comforted by being near Derek, or breathing in his scent. Nor would he reassured by soft, cooing rumbling and growls that promised his protection. He knew Stiles wouldn't be relieved by his presence or feel stronger or more protected just by having Derek near, but that didn't stop the werewolf from going through the motions.

Due to the bond, Stiles registered as a mate in his head, and mates took comfort in those things. Derek could fight the urge, but he didn't see a reason to. At the moment, he felt better the closer he was to Stiles, and protecting the younger man from non-threats put him at ease. Even if the human didn't have the instincts to appreciate it.

Nurse Cline slowly approached Stiles from the opposite side of the table and placed the metal tray on a nearby trolley, her own pair of latex gloves already on. She ripped open a packet and swabbed Stiles' inner arm with an alcoholic wipe before she set it back down on the tray and picked up the syringe loaded with an empty vial.

“Shhh, it's alright, it just hurts for a minute.” She said soothingly as she slid the needle into the human's arm.

Derek watched the nurse as she inserted the needle into Stiles' arm and began to slowly withdraw the blood. Stiles whimpered, furrowed his eyebrows and frowned, but didn't kick up any fuss like he did when Derek was giving him shots at home.

That's what really worried the alpha. The lack of fight and resistance. Derek's heart clenched as he realized what this experience was doing to the younger man. He wasn't sarcastic, sassy or stubborn. He was quiet and accepting, and thought he deserved the pain he was experiencing. And Derek didn't know how to make things better.

The nurse pulled out the syringe and taped a cotton ball to the tiny pinprick of blood and threw the needle into the sharps container on her way out of the room.

“Mr. Stilinski, we'll call you in the morning with the results of your test, but no matter what the results are, we encourage you to schedule an appointment with your OB/GYN right away for a follow up. However, I've seen a few miscarriages and they've gone either way. Sometimes they lose the baby, but miracles do happen. Don't lose faith. You will both be in my prayers and we'll add your name to the prayer list.”

Derek helped Stiles sit up as the younger man shook his head, seemingly lost in his own thoughts as Dr. Wallace advised Stiles to take it easy, avoid strenuous activities and unnecessary stress. Derek nodded along to the doctor's suggestions as he focused on Stiles. He'd never seen the other man so quiet and spaced out.

Stiles jumped when the doctor set his hand on the human's shoulder. “Have faith, Mr. Stilinski. Your levels could stabilize and you may go on to give birth.”

“Thank you, Doctor Wallace.” Stiles mumbled, leaning heavily into Derek's side as he let the alpha lead him from the room.

“Where's Allison?” Derek asked, as he looked around the waiting room and tried to peer into the hallways that housed the vending machines without jostling Stiles too much.

“The other two left about half an hour ago, sir.” The receptionist informed him as she offered them both a small smile.

Derek thanked the woman before he slowly picked Stiles up in his arms and carried him bridal style as he walked through the automatic doors and into the parking lot. He settled Stiles on the passenger seat, buckled him up and reclined the seat before shutting the door quietly. The alpha walked around the car to slide into the driver's seat, pulled out his keys and started the Camaro, glancing over the console at Stiles when the young man winced.

“Are you alright?” He asked, as he reached toward the trembling man, his hand hovering over the human's stomach.

The brunette nodded mutely and closed his eyes. Derek pulled his hand away and shifted the car into gear as he carefully pulled out of the parking space and started the journey home.

They were about ten minutes from Derek's house when Stiles finally spoke up at the same time Derek also began to speak. They paused and the alpha allowed the brunette to go first.

“Do you believe in miracles?”

Derek shrugged. “I don't know. My past history doesn't really lead me to believe in miracles, but I'd _like_ to believe.” He let out a heavy sigh, “What about you?”

“I believe in them, yeah.” Stiles said with a nod, resting his hand on his stomach. “Are you religious?”

“No, not at all. Are you?” Some werewolves believed in religion, and Derek knew a few who did, but his family had always believed in spirits more than anything else.

He was genuinely curious in what the human believed in, as they were typically more religious than werewolves. Stiles' last name seemed to be Polish, which could mean he was Jewish, though he'd never mentioned practicing any religion or any dietary restrictions of any kind.

“Not really; I'm Agnostic. So like, if God exists, great. If not, oh well.” Stiles moaned softly in pain before continuing through clenched teeth, “I do believe in miracles, fate and karma, though.”

They fell silent and remained so until Derek pulled into the driveway and hit the button on the key chain for the garage door to open. He pulled in, parked and shut off the Camaro as he hit the button for the garage door to lower. The dark-haired werewolf turned to the young man next to him.

“I know I agreed that I wouldn't pay you if this resulted in a miscarriage and I know I already paid you for this week, but I want to pay for any counseling and appointments that you need to make sure you and your body are okay.” Derek cleared his throat after, trying to dislodge the thick rubber ball he felt swelling, causing his eyes to water with tears that he refused to let fall.

“What? Der-” Stiles asked, shocked, and already shaking his head in disbelief.

“Stiles, please, let me do this for you.”

The human continued to shake his head. “Derek, we don't even know if we've lost the baby, yet. And even if we are losing them, are you sure you don't want to try again?”

The alpha froze. He'd been through this before, he knew the signs and what they led to. They barely had the tiniest chance of the baby surviving. He wasn't going to fool himself to believe otherwise.

Derek turned to look at Stiles with watery greenish-gray eyes. “I don't know if I can handle another miscarriage so soon, Stiles.”

“Please, let's just wait and find out what the hormone levels are and schedule another doctor appointment, okay?”

It was all they could do, anyway. There was the slimmest chance of the pregnancy progressing, but it didn't do any good to act like they were losing the baby when they weren't absolutely positive that they were.

Derek sighed and gave the younger male a small nod. “Fine, I'll wait and run it by Braeden before I make up my mind.” He opened his car door and stopped Stiles from unbuckling the seat belt as he remembered what Dr. Wallace had told him. “Wait a sec, I'm going to carry you up the stairs. I don't want you to over-exert yourself.”

The alpha rounded the car and helped Stiles get out of the car slowly. He gently swept the human off his feet and into his arms as he carried the younger male up the stairs. It took some careful maneuvering to get the key in the lock, but he managed.

He carried Stiles through the kitchen and into the bedroom, setting Stiles on the mattress as he fixed the blankets that were bunched up near the end of the bed. He helped the younger male get settled against the pillows and under the blankets, but made no move to leave the room.

“Are you okay?” Stiles asked, screwing his face up in pain as another cramp hit him.

“Do you think it would be alright if I stayed?” Derek asked quietly, his hand resting on top of Stiles' clenched fist. “I don't want to leave you when you're in so much pain. And if you need to get up during the night, or if something else happened, I'd like to be as close as possible.” He realized what the sounded like and was quick to add, “Within reason, of course. May I sleep on the couch?”

Stiles nodded, “Yes, please. I'd feel better having you close.”

“Thanks. Shout if you need anything. And I do mean anything, alright?” Derek waited for Stiles to affirm before he left the room and grabbed a pillow and blanket from the linen closet and got settled on the couch. It wouldn't be too comfortable, and it was barely large enough to hold him on his side, let alone on his back, but it would do for one night.

He pushed away thoughts of miscarriage and Stiles' obvious physical and emotional pain. He would deal with it all in the morning. There was nothing he could do about it now, anyway. Derek fluffed the pillow a bit before laying his head on it, keeping an ear out for Stiles. The solid thud of the human's heartbeat echoed in his head and the deep, even breaths the man took lulled the werewolf to sleep.

**XXXXXX**

Derek leaned against the counter-top, frowning while the nurse on the other end of the line explained, “We received Mr. Stilinski's hCG test results back from the lab. His levels are at zero and he has a high chance of miscarrying the baby.

“However, miracles have happened, even with the levels at zero, Mr. Hale. There is a chance he could progress with the pregnancy and deliver the baby. That said, those are very slim chances and we recommend that you see your OB/GYN to discuss the state of your pregnancy with them. They'll be able to keep track and let you know how to proceed from here.

“Please don't get your hopes up, as at this stage, the offspring has little to no chance of survival. If you would like, I can give you the number of a grief counselor, to help you cope with what you're experiencing.”

“Thank you, but I already have a grief counselor. I appreciate the gesture, though.”

“You're welcome, Mr. Hale. Have a nice day.”

“Thanks, you too.” Derek ended the call and turned to Stiles as the younger man put his breakfast dishes in the dishwasher.

“Well, the nurse I spoke to said your hCG levels are zero and you have a very high chance of miscarriage. She told me not to lose hope, but also not to get my hopes up as it could go either way.” Derek scrubbed at his face with his hand and fell silent as a tear slid down his cheek.

He heard the human approach him slowly and felt Stiles' arms wrap around his waist and lay his cheek to his chest. Derek wrapped his arms around the smaller male and placed his chin on top of Stiles' head. He appreciated having the younger man so close, especially since the odds were against them. He knew where this was leading, and planned to prepare for the outcome accordingly.

“I'm going to call the clinic and schedule an appointment so we can get checked out as soon as possible, okay? And I've got to call Braeden.” Derek mumbled quietly before inhaling deeply and letting it out slowly.

“Take it easy today, please?” the werewolf asked and pulled away to scan Stiles' face with watery green eyes. “Just chill out on the couch or in bed, but don't overdo it.”

Stiles nodded and brushed away a tear that clung to the alpha's beard. “I'm sorry, Derek.”

“It's not your fault, Stiles. We'll get through this. I'll sign you up for an appointment with my grief counselor and we'll get through this.” Derek squeezed Stiles into a another brief, tight hug, being extremely mindful of the human's stomach, before stepping away and walking toward the door. “I'll check in on you later.”

Derek left the apartment, shutting the door softly behind him. He wanted to go back in there and cuddle with Stiles a bit more, and make sure the male was comfortable and not in any pain. He wanted to be there for him in all the ways Braeden hadn't let him care for her when she miscarried. He was confident that Stiles would be more open for comfort, based on the fact that he had been the one to initiate the hug, and hadn't pushed him away when he hugged back confirmed that.

That was all Derek wanted to do at the moment. Cuddle, and come to terms with the fact that he was losing another child before he even got to meet them.

On one hand, he didn't have to see their sweet little faces, still and unmoving. To wait for a cry that would never come. To watch them struggle for breath only to choke and die without barely spending a minute alive. Or to have them stillborn, without a chance. Then he'd have to pick out and buy coffins. Arrange a funeral. Choose headstones and purchase plots. All before he even got a chance to hear them cry, see them blink, and look at him for the first time.

Some would say he was lucky that his children had been miscarried instead of being still born or dying shortly after birth. He didn't need to pick out their coffins when he had been picking out cribs. Yet there wasn't a physical representation for them in this world. Nothing to say his angel babies were real and had meant the world to him, even if they'd never been more than zygotes.

That's why he had planted the trees, after all. He wanted to see something tangible, and watch it grow in a way his children never would. He'd never get to know his miscarried children, and he had accepted that. Yet he'd had such high hopes for this pregnancy, had secretly hoped that Stiles would be the answer to all of his and Braeden's problems.

Derek didn't know why this kept happening to him. Why he had to arrive home, expecting a big party to find firemen swarming his house and hear that his family had burned alive inside, except for his uncle, whom would never recover and would spend his life as a shell in a long term care facility. And Laura, of course, whom had been with him. Losing his entire family, his pack, was devastating enough. Then he'd lost Isaac for awhile when Chris had adopted him and whisked him off to France. Now, Isaac was back, but he and Braeden kept losing their babies.

It had taken him a large number of counseling sessions to realize he wasn't being punished for something, and he shouldn't feel guilty because he was alive when most of his family, and his babies, were not.

Derek jogged down the steps leading to Stiles' apartment and walked toward the kitchen door. He pulled out his phone as he unlocked the kitchen door and entered the house.

He knew calling Braeden would be the hardest, so he put it off, at least for a little while longer. He wanted to get an appointment scheduled with Dr. Swan first, and see if he could get a joint session with his grief counselor, Dr. Mackey. Once he had the appointments set up, then he would tell Braeden.

The alpha sighed as he brought up the number for Dr. Swan's extension and waited as it rang. The next few weeks would be extremely difficult for all of them. The sooner they figured out what was happening, the better.

**XXXXXX**

“Hey, Der, I just got your message, babe. What's wrong?” Braeden's voice crackled with static through the phone.

“Brae, I hate to tell you this over the phone, but Stiles is miscarrying.” Derek inhaled deeply before he continued, “He went to the ER last night and they took his blood to check his hCG levels, and we just found out this morning that they're at zero. I already called Dr. Swan and scheduled an appointment with her to see if there is anything we can do, but...well, we know how this goes.”

His girlfriend was quiet for a few, long seconds before she asked, “How's Stiles?”

Derek winced. “He's in pain from the cramps and he's really upset. He wanted to give us a baby so badly, babe. Yesterday, at the ER, he didn't even want me to take his pain from him. He thought he deserved the pain because he was losing our baby.”

“Wow, that's a little dramatic.”

“What? Babe, he was under a lot of stress and was really upset. He's also prone to panic attacks. He wasn't being dramatic.”

“Okay, I'm sorry.” But Derek didn't hear any sincerity in her voice. “So...that's it? We're done?”

“Well, Stiles is willing to try again. Actually, he's the one who brought it up.” Derek sighed. “Do you think you'd be able to swing a quick visit back here, Braeden? I really need you here, just for a little while.”

Braeden was quiet for a few seconds. “I'll see what I can do. I'll let you know what I find out.”

“Okay, thank you. I love you, Brae. We'll get through this.”

“Thanks, Der, I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Now that both fics are caught up to each other, I'll be updating each fic once a month, on the weekend.
> 
> The next update will be to "Through the Dark", which I will update the first weekend of September, and then one of the following weekends, I'll update this fic. So, there will be two updates a month, one for each fic.
> 
> Hopefully, I'll stick to the update schedule, but even if I skip a week, the update schedule will remain the same, since I don't want the fics to get out of sync. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I would love to hear your thoughts, comments and opinions!


	9. Oct. 19, 2015, Oct. 21, 2015

##### Monday, October 19, 2015

Braeden had arrived late yesterday evening and had gone straight to bed. She hadn't given Derek an opportunity to discuss the miscarriage with her, nor her thoughts on Stiles' request to give surrogacy another shot, when and if the miscarriage was complete.

Stiles had left for class while Derek was on his morning jog. He didn't get a chance to see Stiles or ask the younger man how he was feeling. He knew Stiles would probably be experiencing some more pain for a little while longer. He just wished there was more he could do to help.

Derek began to make breakfast. Braeden usually ate a lot for breakfast, in case she got tied up and missed a meal. Even when she was home she preferred to stick to her usual schedule since that was what her body expected.

Braeden entered the kitchen around the time the bacon was finished and the hash browns were almost done. Derek had just begun to make the eggs.

“Morning, Der.” she greeted him with a yawn as she slipped onto the bar stool. She scoped out the plates and stove. “Bacon and hash browns?”

“Yeah, and eggs. Just getting started on those, though. I wanted to make sure they didn't get cold.” 

Braeden faked a pout and asked, “You heard me?”

Derek shook his head with a fond smile. “Of course. I'm tuned into you.” He set her plate down in front of her. “You're lucky that you haven't run into any werewolves in your line of work. They'd easily hunt you down.”

“Not really,” Braeden said, thanking her boyfriend when he handed her silverware, “We have an intense cleansing system that eliminates any werewolf scents from us, and then we go into a crowded public place, so our scents aren't distinguishable from anyone else.”

Derek furrowed his eyebrows. “You mean you don't smell like me when you leave here?”

Braeden shrugged and dug into her breakfast. “Kind of. I do when I get on the plane, but not once I land and go to wherever we've set up base.”

Derek nodded, a small frown on his face. He'd always just assumed Braeden smelled like him when she went away and the smell wore off before she could get time to come home. He had no idea there was a cleansing process. It unsettled him a bit to know his girlfriend was traveling all over the world unmated, unbonded, and unmarried, without his scent to mark her. It had been calming to his wolf to know that at least his scent mingled with her's, but now that he knew the truth he was upset.

Logically, he knew that just because nothing tied Braeden and him together physically, didn't mean they weren't attached emotionally, but his wolf was a natural, physical beast. It was a slap in the face, a punch in the gut, and a kick to the groin to know his girlfriend was unmarked in any way.

“You're not going to let this bother you, are you?” Braeden asked once she'd finished off her hash browns and Derek had handed over the eggs. “That's why I never said anything before because I knew how you'd take it.”

“It's not like I can help it, Braeden. You know how werewolves feel about this kind of thing. You know how I was raised. Pack is important. When you agreed to date me, you became pack. To know you're out there and unattached from me makes it seem like you're rejecting our relationship.”

Braeden raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Does that mean Stiles is pack?”

Derek rolled his eyes as she changed the subject. “Temporarily, yes. He still belongs to Scott's pack, though.”

The darker skinned woman hummed in thought and fell silent as she ate her breakfast and Derek began to load the dishwasher. It was a few more minutes before she had finished and rounded the kitchen island to add her dishes to the machine.

“How is Stiles feeling? Has the miscarriage been confirmed? I meant to ask last night, but I was just so tired.”

“The last I knew, he was still in a bit of pain. There's an almost one hundred percent chance he's going to miscarry, but we'll have to go to Dr. Swan and get an ultrasound done to see if his womb is empty.”

Braeden shook her head sadly as she shut the machine and studied her boyfriend's face. “How's he taking it?”

Derek shrugged. “Better than he was when he found out. He's very unhappy that he's miscarrying. I think he's trying to control his stress, but with his anxiety, it's a bit hard.”

“I bet that's put him off of wanting to try to be a surrogate ever again, huh?”

“Actually, he wants to try again.”

“Stiles – He does?”

“Yes,” Derek huffed, his forehead crinkling in annoyance. “And, honestly, so do I. You know what having a family means to me, Brae.”

“Derek! This was supposed to be the last time we'd go through this! How many more times are you going to put us through this? I can't – why won't you –” Braeden cut herself off with a frustrated groan. “Do you care about me at all? I know you want a family, but what about _me_ and what _I_ want?”

Derek's frown deepened. “What you want? Braeden, are you kidding me? Everything is about what _you_ want!” He snapped. “You don't want to mate with me, and I let it go because I love you. You don't want to get married, and I went along with it, even though I want us to be together and official for life. You want to keep your job with your insane missions. You're barely home and I rarely get to see or hear from you anymore.

“The _one thing_ I ask for, barring the mateship and marriage that you denied me, are children. And you agreed to that. And yes, we've had some setbacks and lost our children before we really could get excited about the pregnancies, but I'm not going to give up on the one thing you've allowed. I just want a kid, Braeden. Apparently, that's a lot to ask for, but you promised you'd give it until New Year's, Brae, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. We still have time, we could try-”

“Fine. The New Years deadline stands, but only for one more try. After this, it's over. Are you happy now?” Braeden demanded.

The iron grip around Derek's heart lessened slightly and he took a deep breath. “Actually, I think it's time we try an egg donor, as well.” He steeled himself as Braeden inhaled sharply and rushed to say, “We can pick out a donor that resembles you as closely as possible, babe, I promise. I want this baby to be yours as much as it is mine. They're ours, Brae, no matter who's sperm or eggs we use.”

“Derek, I've looked at the donors before, after our second miscarriage. There aren't any non-white egg donors. If you're not Malibu Barbie, you're not an acceptable donor. There are barely any brown-haired donors, let alone a dark-skinned one. If we want our kids to look like me, we'll have to hunt them down ourselves and ask for them to donate. We're better off looking for a donor that looks like you, so our kids at least resemble one of us.”

“We could do that.” the alpha said, trying to keep his voice light as he aimed for a positive outlook.

“You know we can't do that. We don't have the time, and I've got to get back to work.”

“I could look-”

“That's not what I meant. We don't have time to hunt someone down that looks like me, fertilize their eggs, and get them into Stiles. You wouldn't know if Stiles was pregnant until way after New Years.” Braeden said with a heavy sigh. “Just use whoever's eggs you want, Der.”

“Brae, no. These kids are going to be _our_ kids. I want them to look like both of us, not just me.”

Braeden shook her head. “They'd still be ours, Derek. They just wouldn't be mine biologically, and I'm okay with that. After the third miscarriage, I started to realize that maybe it's just not to meant to be for me to have biological kids, and that's okay. They'd still be yours, and they'd be mine, too. No matter who their egg donor is.”

Derek stared at his girlfriend helplessly. He didn't think the things he wanted in life were anything more than anyone else wanted. A wife/mate, kids, and a healthy, strong and loyal pack. He knew it was all anyone deserved, but he knew the best things in life required a lot of work and effort.

He didn't understand why Braeden put her job before their relationship and their quest to expand their family. He didn't know why Braeden's eggs were viable, but couldn't maintain a baby for less than two months. He didn't understand why Braeden seemed to be done with expanding their family, but was willing to give him until the beginning of the year, and use a donor's eggs, but he knew he loved her, and he wanted her to be happy, just like she wanted him to be happy.

“Are you sure about this, Brae?” Derek asked quietly, “Once we pick a donor and get Stiles fertilized, that's it. We can't take it back, especially if the pregnancy progresses. Are you _positive_ you're okay with having kids that wouldn't look like you, or biologically be your children?”

Braeden inhaled deeply and nodded determinedly. “Yes, Derek. And like I said, I've looked at the donors before, and I know what they look like. I still think our best chance is to find someone who looks like you, so our kids resemble one of us. However, I don't want to be part of it. I don't have anyone I liked in particular, so I'm leaving that up to you.”

“This should be our decision, Brae. We're picking the donor of our child. You should be there to give input and choose with me. They're going to be our donor, not just mine. We're in this together.”

Braeden held up her hands. “I can't stick around, Derek. I've got to get back to work. I've barely worked at all since I've met Stiles. I just manage to get to base before I'm on the next plane back here. I've got to go and get back to work. Besides, I don't want to be around for the pregnancy. I can't watch Stiles go through with a pregnancy when it should be me.”

Derek knew that was how Braeden felt, and even though he didn't understand how she couldn't want to be part of the pregnancy process, he knew it was a drastically different experience for him. He would never be able to carry a baby and didn't expect to, but Braeden had the ability, and it was harder for her to stand by and watch as Stiles became pregnant.

“So, that's it? We're going to get an egg donor and try one more time?”

“Yeah,” Braeden said with a sigh. “Just this one more time, though. After this, I don't even want to hear about it, got it?”

“I understand,” Derek said, bending his head so he could kiss Braeden. “I'm going to go get some work done before Stiles gets back from his classes. Do you need anything?”

Braeden shook her head, “No, I may go for a drive and visit Isaac, or Erica and Boyd.”

“Alright. Have fun.” Derek kissed her once more before leaving the kitchen.

He still had to make headway on the plans for his client. He'd been slacking since Stiles became pregnant, and knew he had to get some work done, even though Stiles was miscarrying and his heart was heavy. He'd already made a joint appointment for himself and Stiles with his grief counselor for Thursday, but he had his own way of dealing with the grief. He'd check in on the younger male after he got back from his classes. He needed to see how Stiles was doing.

Derek couldn't help but feel at ease with the way Stiles was handling the miscarriage. Despite the baby not being his own, Stiles was suffering. While that didn't make the alpha _happy_ per say, but the fact that Stiles was already so bonded to the baby made him less worried.

He didn't understand how Braeden shoved her feelings away and carried on with her life. He wanted to mourn and share their grief, but Braeden had bottled it up and pushed it aside. Derek felt like he was the only one affected, and he knew it wasn't true, but somehow, losing their children made him feel more lonely when Braeden grieved in her own way.

Stiles was willing to share that grief, and Derek appreciated the young human all the more for it.

**XXXXXX**

Derek had known when Stiles arrived home but decided to give the younger man about an hour to unwind from his classes. He didn't want to overwhelm the human, no matter how badly he wanted to know how Stiles was feeling; if the cramps were worse, or more frequent.

The were' didn't get much done during the hour. He'd texted Isaac to see how the younger man was doing with his counseling but hadn't heard back. Erica had texted him and inquired what was going on, and why he'd been putting off pack meetings and asked why Braeden had been home so much recently. He'd responded that he'd let her know soon, once things calmed down, and he'd explain himself in full detail, in person with the pack later. Erica hadn't been pleased, but she had laid off her questioning and began discussing her job as a manager at a coffee shop. Derek had appreciated the change in subject.

Boyd had sent him a long couple of text messages about his work as a construction worker. He also wanted to tell Derek about his idea for a building, and wondered if Derek could help him draft the blueprints. Derek responded to Boyd's message and glanced at the time on his phone before deciding Stiles had been home long enough for Derek to check on him.

He glided through his house, his thoughts already focused on Stiles. He wasn't sure how he'd break the news that Braeden was willing to give him one more chance, especially since Stiles may have changed his mind regarding his willingness to be his surrogate and try one more time, but he didn't have to tell Stiles straight away. He could wait until the miscarriage ran its course and they'd gone to counseling before he would bring it up. He had time.

Derek jogged up the steps in the garage that led to the apartment and knocked on the door, listening for movement on the other side. He heard a light groan and what sounded like a muffled whimper before Stiles told him to come in.

He entered the apartment and pushed the door shut behind him. Derek shuffled through the kitchen and spied Stiles curled up on the couch. He crossed the room and sat down on the couch next to the younger man.

“How're you holding up?” He asked, his eyes taking in the fair-skinned man next to him.

Stiles shook his head with a shrug and Derek's heart ached. The human's nose was red and raw from being blown too often, his eyes were also red, and slightly puffy from crying. Derek could practically _feel_ the sadness and pain rolling off of Stiles, in short, rapid waves. He was absolutely miserable, and it was Derek's fault.

Derek didn't understand why he hadn't felt Braeden's pain when she had miscarried, but knowing how badly Stiles felt, and feeling it himself, made Derek realize that Stiles was just as heartbroken and upset as he was. For the first time since Derek's life began revolving around miscarriages, he felt less alone and frustrated. He felt like he could share his own way of dealing with the miscarriages with Stiles, and the human man would understand in a way his girlfriend hadn't.

He rested his hand on Stiles' leg and stroked the younger man's bony kneecap with his thumb. “You and I both know that you've more than likely lost the baby already,” he took a deep breath and swallowed thickly before continuing, “And in my backyard, at the edge of the fence, I planted three evergreen trees for the three babies Braeden and I have already lost. I'm going to the greenhouse nursery to pick up another one. Do you want to come with me?”

Stiles nodded slowly and stood up. “I'm going to wash my face first. I'll meet you in the garage.”

Derek nodded his head and got to his feet as well. “Alright.” he brushed a stray tear from the young man's cheek and stared into Stiles' watering whiskey–brown eyes. “I'm not going to lie and say it gets better, Stiles because it never does. This pain lingers and can fester until it destroys you, but it's the little things; getting up in the morning, sticking to your routine, allowing people to comfort you, seeking professional help...those things help and the ache inside becomes easier to deal with.”

Derek inhaled sharply before adding, “If I had known this would have happened, I never would've asked you to do this for us.”

Stiles shook his head and began walking toward the bathroom. “I wanted to, Derek. And even knowing what's happened, I'd do it again. You deserve to have kids, Derek. I only wish I could have brought you them.”

Derek stood in the doorway of the bathroom while Stiles wet his face. Derek wanted to hold off on trying again, or he _had_ wanted to hold off, but he hadn't realized how committed Stiles was to the task of giving him and Braeden their child.

“Stiles, do you remember when we left the hospital when you asked me if I was willing to try again?”

The human nodded and started to scrub his face with his 'odorless' face wash that smelled slightly of citrus, but mostly like chemicals. Stiles' eyes met Derek's greenish–gray orbs in the mirror and held his gaze as the gel began to foam up.

Derek took a deep breath, “Well, maybe we will have time to try one more time, before New Years. And if not, then maybe it's just not in the cards for Braeden and I.”

Stiles held up a finger as he rinsed his face off, but Derek pressed on, “And if that's the case after we've both healed – emotionally, mentally, and physically – I can talk to her about adoption again.”

Stiles began to pat his face dry. The human seemed lost in thought, so Derek added, “Either way, you're welcome to stay here until July, rent-free, if you'd like, Stiles.”

“What?”

Derek shrugged. “I can't ask you to go through this again. I know what multiple miscarriages did to Braeden and I don't want the same to happen to you, and I know you probably don't want to go thr-”

Stiles walked toward him and covered Derek's mouth with his hand. “Derek, I want to try again. Even if there's another miscarriage...I'd like the chance to carry your baby again.”

“Really?” Derek asked once the human had removed his hand from his face. “I don't want you to feel pressured into doing this. I understand if-”

“Der, stop. I want to do this.”

Derek couldn't hold back a smile and swept the younger man into a quick hug. “Thank you so much, Stiles. You have no clue what this means to me.”

Stiles patted his back as he drew away from the hug, wincing as he stepped back. “I kind of do, that's why I'm doing it.”

**XXXXXX**

Derek scanned the platforms filled with plants in front of him,

“I can't find any evergreen saplings, can you?” He'd barely managed to keep a growl back as his eyes flitted from one platform to another in search of the elusive evergreen saplings. He cut a quick glance to his companion, who was busy looking at a pamphlet.

Stiles looked up from the little booklet and glanced around at the platforms in his immediate vicinity. “Uh, no, but I'm not too sure what an evergreen sapling looks like.”

Derek held back a sigh and wordlessly pointed to a small laminated piece of paper that had pictures of various trees in their infancy and gestured toward the pallets in front of them.

Stiles glanced around for a sapling that resembled the picture that accompanied a description of an evergreen. “Nooo,” the younger man replied slowly, giving another cursory look around the platforms. “Sorry.”

“Damn it,” Derek swore, as he kicked one of the wooden pallets with the toe of his shoe. He didn't even feel any pain, due to his werewolf healing abilities. “What the hell am I suppose to do now?”

The human shrugged helplessly. “Do you want to try another sapling?”

Derek held himself back from snapping at Stiles and tried to speak calmly, “But the other three in the backyard are evergreen. I don't want three evergreen trees and one regular tree.”

Stiles pointed to a narrow twig of a sapling with thin, light green leaves. “What about that one?”

Derek raised an eyebrow as he glanced at the potted sprout and looked for its description on the laminated sheet, “A weeping willow sapling?”

“It's fitting, isn't it?” The brunette human male asked with a frown as his hand subconsciously drifted across his lower abdomen. “I just... I don't know. I just think weeping willows are comforting.”

“Comforting?” Derek asked, and his head to the side as his eyes traced over Stiles' face. “How so?”

Stiles raised his arms and shrugged. “I don't know. Maybe because I liked Pocahontas as a kid and loved Grandmother Willow? Because I love the lullaby Katniss sings in ' _The Hunger Games_ '? I have no idea. I just...,” He let out a disgruntled sigh before he continued, “I like that you can go under the tree and be shaded from the rest of the world by its branches and leaves. It just seems...safe.”

Derek listened carefully as Stiles talked and pictured a large weeping willow in his backyard, at the edge of his property, near the evergreen saplings. He'd always loved the scent of pine, which was what pushed him to choose evergreen trees in the first place. They had been his choice since Braeden didn't see the point in planting trees and having them represent their miscarried children. It had been his way to deal with the grief, and his choice to make since Braeden hadn't cared either way.

However, Stiles was with him, and they couldn't find evergreen trees, yet the human had found trees that he liked and had connected to. Derek would have to be an idiot or a fool to ignore the signs in front of him.

The were' snapped out of his thoughts when Stiles began to speak.

“I'm sorry, let's see if we can find another greenhouse or tree nursery, and check if they have any evergreen saplings in stock.” Stiles pulled out his phone and began to tap away at it, presumably to look for another tree nursery in the area.

Derek shook his head as he reached out his hand and pressed against the younger male's phone until Stiles lowered his arm to his side. “No, Stiles, it's fine, I was just thinking.” Derek bent over and reached for the weeping willow sapling, and grabbed it by the damp, burlap cloth, where it's roots and soil were wrapped inside. “A weeping willow is perfect. I like that it's a little different from the other trees because my other children were carried by Braeden, but this child was carried by you.” Derek stood up, with the sapling upright in his arm, and rested the branch against his chest. He wrapped his free arm around the younger male. “Since you like weeping willows and my baby was carried by you, I think a weeping willow will represent you both beautifully; in death and in life.”

His heart swelled as Stiles brushed away tears and a smile twitched across the human's lips. “Thanks, Derek.”

Derek shook his head and began to lead him toward the check out registers. “Thank you, Stiles.”

He idly chatted with the cashier as she rang up the sapling and offered advice on growing trees, but Derek didn't pay much attention. He thanked her and put away his bank card after she had handed him the receipt.

The two men walked in silence to Derek's Captiva. Stiles got himself settled into the passenger seat while Derek placed the infant weeping willow tree on the tarp he had laid down in the back of the vehicle. He grabbed some small sandbags he'd put in the back before they left his house, and arranged them around the burlap sack gently, to keep the sapling upright and from falling over during the drive back home.

“How're you feeling?” Stiles inquired once Derek had climbed into the driver seat.

“Shouldn't I be asking you that?” He asked with a small smile.

Stiles shrugged. “Honestly, no. I'm not doing well. I'm _miscarrying_.” Tears filled his eyes and he huffed impatiently before wiping at his eyes angrily. “I'm losing the baby, but I'm still getting those damn shots daily, and taking those pills and it's – nothing...” he swallowed a sob. “Nothing is working. Your baby is dead before they even got a chance to live. We never got to hear their heartbeat, or find out their gender, or feel them kick o-or get the hiccups.” Stiles exhaled heavily and his shoulders shook like he was fighting off a panic attack. “Derek, I- I really wanted to feel what it's like when a baby has hiccups while in the womb!”

Derek reached across the console to wrap an arm around the young man's shoulders as he finally broke down. “Shhh, Stiles, it's okay.”

“Stop saying that! It's NOT okay!” Stiles screeched, punching him with closed fists, but Derek didn't even feel them. “I'm losing your baby! You're supposed to be pissed at me! It's all my fault!”

“Whoa, hey, no. No, it's not your fault,” Derek rushed to soothe the hysterical human and tried to stop Stiles from hitting him. He wasn't worried about himself since he didn't even feel the punches, but he didn't want Stiles to hurt himself. “Why would you even think that?”

“Be-because I was stressed about school and nervous about Braeden, and that fire drill kinda freaked me out, but mostly cause I thought someone broke into the apartment and was going to attack me, but hearing about the fire alarm didn't help.” Stiles stopped hitting the werewolf, and instead curled in on himself as he shook his head. “And I was in the habit of taking my medication and I took it twice by mistake. I _killed_ your baby!”

Derek froze as his heart sank. He knew that continued use of most prescription drugs could lead to miscarriage. His initial, basic reaction was to blame Stiles for the miscarriage, but he knew it took more than two small, accidental doses to force a miscarriage. The stress probably hadn't helped the baby, but the blame couldn't be placed solely on Stiles. Braeden had been relatively stress-free for the first two miscarriages, although the stress and fear of miscarrying probably hadn't helped when she miscarried the third time. However, neither Braeden nor Stiles had probably been stressed enough to actually cause a miscarriage.

Derek couldn't believe that Stiles laid so much blame in himself when the human had done the best he could. That's all Derek, or anyone, could have asked for. He knew that Stiles had blamed himself for the miscarriage when he had been taken to the ER a few days ago when they found out he was miscarrying, but he had no idea the human was still blaming himself and felt solely responsible for losing the baby.

Stiles began to cry harder and Derek shook his head to clear his thoughts. It wasn't Stiles fault any more than it was Braeden's, or Derek's. There was no one to blame.

“Stiles, it is _not_ your fault, I promise. I highly doubt your ADD medicine did that much damage. It's not like you took the morning after pill, okay? And maybe the stress did weigh on you when the pregnancy was already high-risk, but we knew what our chances were.

“I mean, I know more than you do about the risks and I had hoped that with your follicles and uterus being so, well, 'Class A', I hoped everything would turn out well. But, some part of me knew that it may not happen for us.”

The human shook his head slowly. “No, Derek, that's not how this was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be perfect. I was supposed to give you your baby. Risks be damned, you were supposed to have your kid.” Stiles sniffed and wiped away the last of his tears. Large, amber eyes stared deeply into light green orbs as the human earnestly continued, “I can see you so clearly with kids, Derek. Surrounding by a whole bunch of them, lit up and happy, playing with them and... just so happy, Der. You deserve happy, and you're going to have your kids, even though this one...couldn't make it here, that doesn't mean the next one won't.”

A ball formed in Derek's throat as the human rambled on about giving him a child. He had no idea that Stiles had felt so passionately about his journey to being a parent, and had to fight back tears as he attempted to console the younger man. “Stiles...”

“No, Derek. Please, just, talk to Braeden and discuss this. I'm up for it if you are.” Stiles pulled away from him and ran a hand through his hair, “If both of you are, I mean.”

Derek pulled his arm back and started the car as Stiles buckled himself in. “I will talk to her, Stiles. Let's take care of the tree first, though.”

Derek drove home in near silence with the human next to him. He wasn't sure if he would mention any of this to Braeden since the other woman had already made her mind up and considered the discussion closed. She didn't really like talking about the miscarriage or pregnancy when it came to Stiles, just as she didn't like to think about the trees growing in their backyard.

Derek let out a heavy sigh. He knew he'd probably end up keeping the conversation to himself.

**XXXXXX**

Derek dug a small hole and made sure it was deep enough and an even circle. He was so used to planting the trees alone that he was very aware of the human sitting a bit behind him. He could feel eyes on him, watching him, but didn't feel threatened nor uncomfortable. If he were being honest with himself, he liked having Stiles watch him. He knew nothing would come of it, so he allowed himself to enjoy the heat that spread through him and the tiny tendrils of lust that began to pool in his groin.

Stiles killed the mood when he asked, “I don't want to pry, but why trees?”

Derek remained quiet for a few more minutes as he thought about the question and how to answer it. He dug on auto-pilot, and reached for the sapling once he was sure the hole was perfect, but Stiles stopped him. The brunette kept a hand on the thin sapling in its burlap sack. Stiles stared at him with a raised eyebrow, challenging the were', and silently demanded an answer.

Stiles' demeanor changed noticed the tears gathering in the corners of Derek's eyes, and the younger man sagged. Stiles' light grip on the sapling loosened and he offered it to Derek, his eyes cast down at the infant weeping willow.

“Because I wasn't able to bury them,” Derek responded as he wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. “Not that I'd ever want to bury my children because that would be so hard. So...difficult to set their little, fragile bodies put in a box in the ground, cover them with dirt and...walk away.”

Derek sniffled as he thought of putting tiny, frail infants clothed in white into beautifully carved wooden boxes, shutting them in and then lowering them into the ground. He tensed and nearly choked on the mournful howl that was caught in his throat.

In some ways, miscarrying was easier than losing an infant further along in pregnancy, or stillborn, or dead after a few days spent fighting for their life. In others, it was worse. He had never seen anything resembling a baby at an ultrasound. He never got to hold his baby, nor breathe in the scent of family that he only caught whiffs of when Laura was around. He didn't get to smooth down their soft, downy hair, or kiss their chubby cheeks, or care for them.

He envied those who had the chance to see, touch and kiss their babies, but he didn't envy them for burying them. No matter how someone lost a baby it was an awful experience.

He sniffled again as he continued, his throat tight and his voice wavering, “But I'm planting something that will grow, even though they never had a chance to. And I see the trees every day from my bedroom window and, of course, every time I'm in the backyard or by a rear-facing window.”

Stiles swallowed thickly and wordlessly handed the slightly heavy sapling to him. Derek turned, crouched over, and gently removed the burlap sack and set the clump of soil that housed the sapling's roots into the hole. He picked up a long, slender piece of wood and put it in the soil, not deep enough to pierce any of the sapling's roots, but deep enough to make sure it wouldn't fall over. He tied the wood and sapling together with twine before he picked up the shovel and buried the roots and end of the stick in the dirt.

“What's the stick for?” The human asked quietly.

“It keeps the tree's trunk from growing up bent, and helps stabilize the tree during its infancy against harsh winds.”

“Oh, good,” Stiles replied softly as Derek made sure the soil was packed tightly.

Tears blurred his vision as he smoothed his hands over the soil, barely aware of the salty droplets that slid down along his nose and clung to the tip before dripping onto the soil below. Thoughts of doubt swirled around his head and he tried not to focus on any of them because if he did, they would overwhelm him and he couldn't allow that.

He hadn't felt Stiles set his hand on his shoulder, but he did once the human began to squeeze his shoulder with enough pressure to break him from his downward spiral of grief. Derek put his hand over Stiles' and held the younger male's hand to him as if he could absorb comfort from touching the man just like he could absorb pain.

After Derek was able to sort through his thoughts and stamp down on the depression that threatened to creep into his heart and mind, he stood up and pulled Stiles' hand from his shoulder, but didn't let go. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and appreciated how perfectly Stiles' hand, with his slender palm and thin, bony fingers, fit so well in his own. After a few seconds, he let go.

Derek walked toward the shed to put away the shovel, twine, and burlap bag. He wiped away the tears clinging to his beard and the remaining tear tracks from his face. Many alphas would see showing so much emotion as a weakness, but that wasn't how Derek had been raised. It had been humiliating to show emotion in front of other packs because he had known he would be judged for it, but he hadn't felt that way in front of Stiles. He knew, without asking, that the younger man would never judge him for being emotional.

He hung the shovel on the wall, placed the burlap bag in a bin, and put the twine away in toolbox before shutting and locking the shed door and making his way back to Stiles.

The human was standing stiffly and seemed lost in his own thoughts. Derek could practically feel the heartache rolling off of Stiles in waves and it was nearly strong enough to bring tears to his own eyes.

“Stiles?” He asked softly. His voice sounded raw and strained as he spoke around the thick lump that had formed in his throat.

The human jumped at the sound of Derek's voice and curled in on himself. “Don't ask if I'm okay,” he whispered so quietly that if Derek hadn't been a werewolf he would have never heard him. “I'm not okay. I don't know when I'll be okay again.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Derek asked as desperation seeping into his voice. “Anything that'd make you feel better?”

“Give me another chance.”

“Another chance? At what?”

Stiles hunched his shoulders and huffed, “Give you another child. I-”

“Stiles, I have to run it by Braeden first, but I promise that we'll give it some thought. After we talk to the psychologist.” Derek replied softly.

He didn't want to tell Stiles he had already discussed it with Braeden, not yet. He wanted to wait until after their counseling session when the male was a bit calmer and his emotions dealing with the pregnancy had evened out. It'd be unfair to ask him now and hold him to his word later when he was able to think more clearly.

The human nodded and followed the Derek toward the house. Once Stiles let out a garbled, choked sob, Derek immediately slipped an arm around his waist to catch the human as he stumbled.

Derek whimpered low in his throat as he nuzzled his nose into Stiles' neck. He inhaled deeply as he tightened his grip on Stiles' waist. He felt calmer and grounded when he was close to Stiles, and having the man in his arms set him at ease. Scent-marking helped, of course.

Stiles sighed and leaned into Derek's embrace, which meant Derek was practically carrying Stiles, but he didn't mind. He simply continued to breathe in the human's natural musk and enjoyed the small comfort of having Stiles in his arms.

They stood still for a few moments until Derek realized how long they'd been standing there. He began to pull away but paused when the back door opened.

“Derek, can I talk to you?” Braeden called from the doorway.

“Yeah, we'll be right there.”

“I want to talk to you alone, Der.”

The alpha raised an eyebrow as he and Stiles walked toward the young woman. “We can go upstairs to talk, Braeden. Stiles isn't going to stand out here while we chat.”

The U.S. Marshall looked over Stiles and her determined expression softened minutely. “Hey, Stiles. How're you?”

The younger male shrugged and shook his head. “I don't know how you went through this three times. I'm sorry. I did-”

“Stiles, enough. It's fine.” Derek interrupted him and passed Braeden to enter the screened-in porch, pulling the human along after him.

He didn't want Stiles to go into detail about his experience with miscarriage, especially since Braeden didn't like to talk about it.

“It's not something you recover from quickly.” His girlfriend said as she followed them.

“Yeah, you're right. And I'm so sorry.”

Braeden nodded and gestured toward the stairs. “I'll be in our room, Derek.” She smiled gently at Stiles, “I hope you feel better soon, Stiles. I hope it progresses quickly for you, so things can go back to normal.”

Stiles gave her a short nod and Braeden exited the room. Stiles cast a loaded glance at him.

Derek looked away and muttered, “Go lie down, Stiles.”

“Talk to her!” The brunette hissed as he set a hand on his abdomen.

Derek waved him off. “Shhh, go rest.”

Stiles spun on his heels and stalked toward the kitchen, heading toward the garage door. Derek stood still and waited for the door to the garage to shut before going upstairs to talk to Braeden.

He met her in the bedroom and looked around the room as Braeden folded clothes and placed them in a small duffel bag.

“Heading out?”

“Yes, I've been called back, and they told me they could delay it for a day or two more, but I need to get back. I can't keep coming back here, though, Der. It's too hard on me, and it's not earning me any favors with my superiors, which isn't going to help when I need to take time off if Stiles gets pregnant again and carries the baby to term.”

Braeden sat down on the bed and stared at her boyfriend with watery, dark brown eyes. “I can't stick around here, Der. It hurts too much to see Stiles suffering, and knowing that you're going to ask him if he will try again for us...”

“No, Brae, I understand. This isn't any easier for me, you know.” Derek said as he sat down next to her on the mattress. “Although, he is willing to try again. He wanted me to ask you if _you'd_ be willing to let him try again.”

“You didn't tell him that I'd already agreed?”

“No,” Derek informed her with a shake of his head. “I wanted him to wait until the miscarriage was complete and for us to have the counseling session before he decides anything. I don't want him to agree to anything he's not ready for.”

Braeden nodded slowly. “That makes sense. He needs to know what he's getting himself into.”

Derek wrapped his arm around his girlfriend's waist and pulled her against his side. “Do you want updates about the miscarriage, and Stiles' decision once we've gone to counseling?”

“Not too many. Just let me know when it runs its course, and let me know what he decides to do. But I was serious when I said I didn't want any part of the process of picking a donor. Take Isaac, Erica, Boyd or even Stiles if you want someone to go along with you, but I don't want to see any of the potential donors, got it? I'm not going to change my mind on this, so don't even try.

“Just...try to get someone like you, alright? I don't mind if they don't look like me, but I would feel extremely weird about caring for some blonde haired and blue eyed white kids.”

Derek let out a low laugh. “That sounds difficult since you compared most of the donors to Malibu Barbie. Do you think I'll find any half-Hispanic donors with black hair and green/gray eyes?”

Braeden shot him a small smile. “No, but I wish you the best of luck. Even if the donor has brown eyes would work since my eyes are kind of brown.”

Derek hummed and looked deeply into his girlfriend's eyes. “Very dark brown, but beautiful, as well.”

“Shut up,” Braeden muttered, leaning in for a kiss, which Derek eagerly returned.

He reached for the hem of her shirt, but Braeden pulled back with a frown. “Derek, I don't have time for that right now, I've got to get going.”

“What, right now?” he couldn't manage to keep the frustration and disbelief from his voice.

“I have to finish packing and I want to say goodbye to Erica, Boyd, and Isaac before I leave, so yes, right now.”

“Wait, you're leaving tonight?” Derek glanced at the bag next to his girlfriend. “I don't remember you bringing a bag.”

“I didn't, but I wanted some extra stuff. A few of my outfits got ruined and I don't have time to go shopping for new ones, especially when I know it's going to get worn out or destroyed again.”

Derek sighed and ran his hand over his face. “So you're leaving now?”

“Yes!” Braeden snapped as she stood up and walked toward their closet. “As soon as I finish packing, I'm out of here.”

“Fine. I'm going to go check on Stiles. He wasn't doing too well earlier, and I think he's-”

“Okay. I told you I didn't want to know, Derek. This counts as telling.” She waved him away with a frown. “Just go. I'll text you when I get to the airport, and when I get back to base.”

Derek bit back the words he wanted to say, knowing it would just lead to an argument. “Alright. I love you, Brae. Be safe.”

“I love you, too, Derek. And I will.” Braeden dumped a small pile of clothes on the bed and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, and pulled away before Derek was ready for her to. “Go check on Stiles. I'll be out of here in a couple of minutes anyway. There's no reason for you to hang around.”

Derek strode from the room and darted down the stairs, heading for Stiles' apartment. He stopped in the kitchen and took a few calming breaths before realizing he was still too angry about Braeden's announcement of her impending departure to be helpful toward Stiles. He changed his path and headed out of the screened-in porch to the backyard and jogged toward where the newest sapling was sitting in the setting sun.

He stared at the sapling, lost in his thoughts. He hadn't told Braeden that he'd planted a different kind of tree, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell her that Stiles had picked it out. At the time, it had made sense and was almost poetic, but in the end, Stiles would leave and move on. He would move on with his life, and would forget about the child he'd lost. A child that wasn't even his. He would forget about the tree he'd picked out, while Derek would spend the rest of his life glancing out of his bedroom window and watching the tree grow when his children never had the chance to.

He may regret the decision later when he looked out and saw three evergreen trees and a gloomy weeping willow, but at the moment, he couldn't bring himself to be upset, because he knew that for now, and for awhile yet, Stiles would be suffering just as he was. Seeing the sapling could push the younger man toward healing himself. The same way it pushed Derek to continue when he saw the small trees fighting the odds, sinking their roots into the ground and lifting their branches up to the sky.

The trees didn't mean anything to Braeden, but they did to Derek, and he could tell how much they meant to Stiles.

Derek was brought from his thoughts by the sound of a familiar engine. He could also hear a familiar heartbeat as the quiet car made its way up the long driveway.

Isaac was coming to pick Braeden up, and would probably take her to the coffee shop, where Erica's shift was winding down, and where Boyd was probably drinking coffee, waiting for his girlfriend to finish her shift so they could go home.

Before Derek had run across Stiles, he would have accompanied them to the coffee shop, happy to spend more time with his girlfriend before she left, and hang out with his pack when they were all together, save Laura, while he could. He would've sat through Isaac complaining about his partners annoying best friend that he hated, and Erica would tease him while Boyd sat in silence, but with a small smile on his face. Braeden would laugh and it would only encourage Isaac to mock the annoying man more, saying all the things he held back in front of his boyfriend and girlfriend.

Now that Derek actually knew Stiles, the times he had allowed Isaac to insult and make fun of the human irritated him. He hadn't known what Stiles was really like and had been willing to believe he was the asshole roommate from hell, instead of the kind, anxious, compassionate, sarcastic human he now knew.

Derek heard the front door slam shut and a car door open. He focused on the sound of the wind in the trees instead of listening to Braeden and Isaac talking quietly to each other. He ignored Isaac's quiet question as to whether Derek would be joining them and didn't bother to respond. A few seconds later, the engine revved and began to fade away as Isaac drove away, taking Braeden with him.

He waited a few more minutes as darkness closed in and the mosquitoes began to annoy him before he jogged back toward the house and headed into the screened-in porch. He didn't want to knock on the outside door and startle Stiles, so he strode through his house and into the garage. He jogged up the steps and knocked on the apartment door, listening carefully for Stiles, in case the human was too tired to get up and open the door.

When Stiles didn't answer, Derek opened the door and frowned when he realized that the human had left it unlocked.

“Stiles?” he called out softly as he walked through the kitchen and into the living room. He ducked his head into the bedroom and could just make out the form curled up on the bed. “Stiles?”

“Yeah.” The younger man said as he wiggled his body and pulled the blanket over himself.

Derek hovered in the doorway and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He must have looked angry because Stiles sat up quickly and asked him, “What's wrong?”

Derek didn't see any point in beating around the bush, or lying to Stiles about Braeden's feelings about the younger man, so he decided to just lay it out there.

“Braeden said being around you right now is making it hard for her not to fall into depression and she's headed back to her mission, which could take til Christmas, but she's positive she won't be back in time for Thanksgiving.” Derek's frown deepened. “I should've known she had no intentions of staying long-term. She didn't even bring a bag home this time, but she made sure to take one with her when she left.”

Stiles pat a free space of the mattress and pulled his legs up so Derek could sit down. The brunette relaxed against his pillows and prodded Derek's thigh with the tip of his sock-clad toe. “I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault, Stiles, so don't worry about it. Please. Just focus on letting the– this run it's course so it can be over with.”

The human frowned and slipped a hand under the blanket. “I wish we'd had more time with them. We don't even know what their sex was.”

Derek shrugged helplessly and placed his hand on top of Stiles' foot and stroked the arch of the younger man's foot through the blanket. “We've never known any of the babies sexes.”

“Did you ever give them names?”

He shook his head. “No, Braeden didn't want to. She wanted to save the names we'd discussed for a baby we could hold.”

“Well, what about you? Did you ever want to name them?”

“Of course. They're still my kids, even though I never got to see them or hold them.” he let out a weary sigh. “But there's no use in naming them since they'll never have a birth certificate or death certificate. They don't even exist, or matter to anyone, but they matter to me.”

Stiles was quiet as he gave him time to calm down before he asked tentatively, “What would you have named them?”

Derek gave him a dry look. “We never even knew their sexes, Stiles. It makes it kinda hard to name them.”

The younger male shook his head. “So? There are gender-neutral names out there. Like Casey, Shiloh, Kory, and Quinn. And, yeah, you can make the spelling more masculine or feminine, but the name itself doesn't allude toward a particular gender.”

Derek shifted his weight against the mattress and sat up a bit straighter as he remembered the baby names he'd come across and committed to memory.

“Like Ambrose? I bought a baby book back when Braeden got pregnant the first time and I really liked the name, but Braeden nixed it because it sounded too pretentious to her.” Derek said thoughtfully. “I think it means 'immortal' and reminded me of ambrosia, the nectar of the Greek gods.”

“Ambrose is a perfect name. That's one baby down, three to go.” Stiles chipped in with a small smile. “Any others?”

Derek exhaled loudly and the tension in his body bled out visibly as a small, shy smile formed on his lips as he thought. 

“Laurel, because after all she's done for me, Laura deserves to have a baby named after her.” Derek's smile widened, “And it's a type of evergreen tree, so it's fitting.”

“Very,” Stiles smiled back. “Two more.”

“Avery. I liked it when I read about it, and it means wisdom, but I just liked the name because when I found a blog, this mom wrote her kid's name was Avery and when they had a hard time falling asleep, she'd sing to them, 'Avery is a very good baby' and when you said 'very' it reminded me of that.”

Stiles nodded and said, “Sounds perfect. Ambrose, Laurel and Avery.” His smile wavered as he rested his hand on his abdomen and patted it lightly over the blanket, “What about this one?”

Derek tilted his head and looked at the younger male cautiously, “What would you pick?”

“Me?” Stiles jumped in shock before he began to shake his head. “No, Der, they're your kids, you get to name them.”

“Braeden always pulled the 'I'm-carrying-them-so-I-get-final-choice' card, so I think it should extend to you, Stiles. What would you name the baby?”

“Eden.” The nervous brunette breathed out immediately, not meeting Derek's gaze. “When you mentioned the Greek gods, I thought of the garden Eden and thought it'd be perfect.” He cut a quick glance at the bearded male. “What were you thinking of?”

“Sky. Not a fan of Skyler, but Sky sounds...right.”

Stiles reached over to pat at his shoulder. “Sky sounds perfect.”

“I don't know, I think Eden Sky sounds better. Eden Sky Hale.”

Tears filled the human's eyes and a watery laugh arose from the back of his throat. “Eden Sky Hale is a perfect name for an angel.”

Derek reached over and wrapped his arms around Stiles' upper body. He pulled the younger male into his lap and placed his hand over the brunette's pale hand resting on his lower abdomen. “It'll be okay, Stiles. We'll get through this, I promise.”

Stiles nodded and rested his head on the man's large shoulder, inhaled deeply, and began to relax. “Did you talk to her about trying again?”

Derek debated whether he should tell Stiles about what he and Braeden had discussed. He would rather wait until the miscarriage was complete and they had finished their first joint counseling session, but he also didn't want to lie to Stiles.

“She said she'd stick to the New Years deadline, but after that, she doesn't want to hear about it anymore and it just isn't for us,” Derek admitted with a scowl.

Stiles traced the pad of his finger over Derek's thick eyebrows until they smoothed out.

“I'm positive it'll go better this time, Der. You deserve this.”

Derek shook his head and let out a sigh of helplessness. “Nobody deserves anything, Stiles. They just think they do.”

“You're wrong. Everyone deserves to be happy. Scowly sourwolves included.”

Derek snorted and poked the human's side. “So are you, then. What would make you happy right now?”

“Honestly? Cuddles, a warm blanket, frozen yogurt and a Doctor Who marathon.”

Derek adjusted his legs and tightened his hold on Stiles before standing up with the younger man in his arms and began walking toward the door. “Have you got any frozen yogurt?”

“Yeah, cake batter and strawberry waffle cone,” Stiles informed him as he was deposited on the couch. He began to sit up, but Derek pushed him back down.

“Where do you think you're going?” He asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

Derek saw Stiles blink and stare openly at his arms with his mouth gaping open just a bit. He could smell the younger man's arousal and couldn't resist flexing his arms. Stiles' reaction was immediate. The human shook his head slowly, his eyes almost glazed over before he blinked and cleared his throat.

“To get the yogurt?” Stiles replied although it sounded more like a question. He pointed to the fridge to clarify his intentions.

“I'll grab it, you get Doctor Who ready.”

“Wait. What?”

Derek wondered if Stiles was just having a hard time comprehending because he was slow, or because he was distracted by his half-hard dick. Whatever the case, he decided to keep quiet and allow Stiles to catch on, as he knew the brunette would.

The werewolf smirked as he walked into Stiles' bedroom and picked up the comforter off of the bed. He fought to keep the smirk off of his face as he left the room and threw the comforter at the human on the couch. He walked into the kitchen and began to open the cupboards and drawers so he could grab bowls, spoons, and an ice cream scoop.

“Cuddles, warm blanket, frozen yogurt and Doctor Who, right?” He raised an eyebrow. “I'll get the frozen yogurt, you get comfortable and start the show.”

He could feel Stiles staring at him, but elected to ignore him as he got the frozen yogurt from the freezer and began to spoon both flavors into the bowls. He heard the Xbox begin to load and knew the younger man had finally gotten with the program.

“Uh, okay, but we don't have to cuddle, Derek. I get it.”

Derek snorted, “You _would_ rescind your request for cuddles when I actually agree with it, wouldn't you?” He smirked at the confused expression painting the human's face, “I need a little comfort, too, Stiles. Platonic, of course.”

He noted the human's jerky nod and had to hold back an overwhelming need to comfort the younger man. He knew Stiles was going through a lot and probably wasn't feeling well, but he couldn't let Stiles think that just because Braeden was gone, and that they had named his kids, that he was planning on cheating on his girlfriend. He knew Stiles probably found him attractive, and to be fair, he thought Stiles was incredibly appealing as well, but he refused to allow anything to come of it.

Stiles was his surrogate and that was all.

Derek set the mostly empty frozen yogurt cartons back in the freezer and put the ice cream scoop into the sink after he had rinsed it off. He tucked a spoon into each bowl before carrying it over to the couch where Stiles was sitting under the comforter.

Stiles lifted an edge, but Derek shook his head. The apartment was a little chilly, for a human's preferences, but it felt fine to Derek.

He passed the bowl to Stiles before saying, “Do you want me to turn up the heat? You can if you want, you know. Anytime. I'm not going to make you pay if you run up the heating bill or take hot showers, you know. I want you to be comfortable and I know you run at a different temperature, especially compared to werewolves.”

The human shook his head. “No, thank you. I'm fine. I like it a bit chilly like this. I prefer colder temperatures. I like hoodies, and blankets, and warm meals and hot drinks... You know, comforting things that warm your soul as well as your blood.”

Derek nodded and wondered how something so strange could sound so poetic. “Like werewolves?”

“Huh?”

Derek shifted closer to the younger man and pressed the side of his body against Stiles'. “If you're eating yogurt, that's not going to warm your soul, and I doubt the blanket will help much when it's your insides that are cold.” He smiled at the human. “Werewolves run at a higher temperature, so I can warm your insides as well as your outsides.”

Actually, he could think of a few ways to warm Stiles' body all the way through, but he fought back the oncoming wave of arousal. He had Braeden, and he wasn't about to lose her just so he could fuck their surrogate.

He was distracted by the blush emanating from Stiles' face and had to hold back a smirk. “Besides, we agreed to platonic cuddles, right? Guess we'll start on those after I finish my fro-yo.”

Stiles snorted and fumbled with the Xbox controller as he prompted the episode to begin playing. “I can't believe big-bad-scary-and-handsome just said 'fro-yo'.”

Derek rolled his eyes before turning his attention to the screen as he tried the strawberry waffle cone frozen yogurt, that had slightly melted with the cake batter.

It wasn't like anything he had ever had before, and Derek wasn't one to mix flavors, but he had to give Stiles credit. He picked out amazing combinations.

**Wednesday, October 21, 2015**

“Mr. Stilinski? Mr. Hale?”

Derek stood up as Stiles jumped to his feet. They crossed the waiting room to meet the nurse that had called their names.

“Straight ahead and around the corner, first room on the right, gentlemen.” the nurse said, allowing them to pass her before trailing into the room after them. “Dr. Swan is finishing up with another patient and it may be awhile before she's finished. How about we take your vitals and get some questions out the way before she gets here, hm?”

Derek sat down on the lone chair in the examination room as Stiles kicked off his shoes and took off his jacket before getting on the scale. Derek picked up the younger man's jacket and folded it neatly before laying it on his lap. He glanced back up as Stiles sat down on the examination table and slipped his shoes back on.

He watched carefully as the nurse checked Stiles' blood pressure, heart rate, listened to his lungs and recorded his temperature before she sat down on a stool near the sink and began to ask him what his symptoms had been over the past few days, the hospital doctor's prognosis, and how the human male was feeling.

“Like shit.” Stiles muttered, his tone bitter as he looked up at the ceiling and sighed, “I wouldn't wish this on anyone.”

“I understand, Mr. Stilinski, but could you be more specific?”

Stiles exhaled shakily before saying, “Not to be dramatic, but I feel like my heart is broken. And maybe it's the estrogen patch, but my hormones and emotions are all over the place and the tiniest things set me off and it- it's awful.” He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and bit at it nervously.

The nurse nodded sympathetically as she recorded his response in the file. “Have you continued to have cramps, had any more bleeding, or any other kind of discharge?”

Stiles shook his head. “The bleeding stopped completely by noon yesterday, and I haven't cramped since then, either, but I still feel like shit.”

“I'm sorry, Mr. Stilinski, but I don't think that'll go away very soon.” She reached forward to pat at his hand. “And just to be clear, no other kind of discharge?”

“No.”

A knock sounded from the door and the nurse stood up as Dr. Swan entered the room. She shot them both a warm smile before reviewing with her nurse and taking over as the nurse exited the room.

“Thank God. I was getting tired of her questions.” Stiles muttered as he leaned back against the elevated table. “She wasn't as nice as you are, Dr. Swan.”

“She was just doing her job, Stiles.” Derek reminded the younger man quietly as he reached forward and placed his hand on Stiles' knee.

“Well, gentlemen, I had hoped our next appointment would've been for a different reason, as I'm sure you both did, as well. However, I'm here to make sure that you did indeed suffer a complete miscarriage, and not a partial one.”

“What? There's a chance the baby is still in me?” Stiles asked, his brown eyes wide with panic. Derek stroked his thumb across the human's knee in an attempt to calm him down, but it seemed like Stiles was too worried to notice.

Dr. Swan nodded slowly and smiled at them both sympathetically. “Unfortunately, it has happened before, and is quite common, but since your symptoms seem to have disappeared, your chances of going through a partial miscarriage are very minimal, Mr. Stilinski.” she flipped through Stiles' file and scanned over what the nurse had jotted down. “Perhaps if you were still experiencing cramps without any blood or discharge the odds of you having anything in your womb would increase, but as it is, I expect your womb to be clear.”

She pulled the stool closer to the exam table and gestured to Stiles to lift up his shirt. “We just want to be absolutely positive that your womb is empty, and that the miscarriage didn't cause any tearing in the lining of your uterus.”

“What if it is empty? Or my lining is torn? Then what?” The young human male asked as he pulled up his shirt and allowed the gentle doctor to squirt warm gel on his lower abdomen.

Derek twitched in his seat and answered Stiles before Dr. Swan could.

“If there's anything there, she'd have to do a procedure where she would scrape the walls of your uterus and it could cause scarring, which would damage your womb and could cause complications in other births,” Derek informed him softly.

“What?!” Stiles screeched, and Derek rumbled low in his throat to soothe the other male as Stiles' heart rate sped up drastically.

When Stiles showed no sign of calming down, and his heart beat continued to escalate, Derek stood up and placed his left hand on Stiles' shoulder and his right hand low on the man's hip, keeping the human pressed against the examination table. “But we have to get the ultrasound to make sure of any of that, Stiles. Lie still so we can see what's going on.”

As Stiles calmed down, Derek removed his hands and began to step away, but Stiles grabbed his hand and whimpered, “Please?”

Derek stood still and squeezed the human's hand reassuringly. He made sure to stay out of Dr. Swan's way as she ran the ultrasound wand through the gel on Stiles' abdomen, smearing it around and digging it into the pale flesh to get the best possible images.

She turned the monitor toward the two men and pointed at the screen with her free hand while she continued to move the wand across Stiles' stomach. “See this? So far, there's nothing to suggest you have anything in your womb at all, Mr. Stilinski.”

The doctor was quiet as she continued to search for any sign of abnormalities. Derek's eyes flitted over the screen, trying to discern if there was anything abnormal, but it all looked like a recording of black and white grains of sand to him. After a couple of tense minutes had passed Dr. Swan removed the wand and set it aside before she handed Stiles a soft cloth to clean himself off with.

“If I had caught anything, even an odd bit of white, or a suspicious dark shadow, we would've used an internal camera to check your uterus before opening you up and scraping your walls, Mr. Stilinski.” She took the cloth back and set it next to the sink before continuing, “However, your walls show no sign of anything occupying any part of your womb, and judging from your lack of symptoms, I'd say you're in the clear, and you have successfully miscarried.”

“Great.” Stiles spat out, his tone bitter as he pulled down his shirt.

The human stood up to grab his jacket from Derek, who let the younger man snatch it out of his hands.

He knew Stiles wouldn't be happy, even if it was a relief to hear the younger man wouldn't need to have his womb scraped. He couldn't imagine the pain Stiles would be in, physically as well as emotionally, if the miscarriage had been a bit further along and incomplete.

Derek was so absorbed in his thoughts, he almost missed what the OB/GYN/RE was telling them.

“I highly recommend that you speak to a grief counselor to help you understand and manage the intense emotions coursing through you right now. And that goes for both of you.” Dr. Swan told them with a sharp glare.

“We both already have an appointment with a grief counselor tomorrow,” Derek informed her.

He had been through this before and understood the protocol. He wouldn't put Stiles mental well-being to the side just because he was his surrogate and not his partner. He wanted to take care of the younger man, just as he had tried to take care of Braeden after their previous miscarriages.

“Good, that'll help you both come to terms with this sad event.” Dr. Swan put her hand on Stiles' arm, “I'm very sorry for your loss, both of you.”

Stiles nodded and stepped closer to Derek before he responded, “Thanks, Dr. Swan.” He gave her a small, sad smile. “And I think I told you last time that you can call me Stiles.”

“Right, Stiles.” The lovely doctor returned his smile, “Well, just a few more things to go over, and then you're free to go.

“Along with grief counseling, I recommend you wait at least three months before attempting to get pregnant again, as this will give you ample time to allow you to recover physically, as well as emotionally and mentally. That said, you can stop using the estrogen patch immediately, as it won't do you any good to have those extra hormones coursing through you and giving you emotional whiplash. And you've stopped the shots of Dexamethasone by now, correct?”

Derek nodded as he glanced at Stiles. “Actually, doctor, we're interested in trying to have a baby again as soon as possible.”

“I highly advise against that, Mr. Hale. It's recommended that everyone experiencing a miscarriage wait at least three months before resuming their endeavors to become parents.” Dr. Swan informed them firmly with a disapproving frown.

“But we have a timeline to follow! I need to be pregnant before the new year. It's not an option to wait three months, Dr. Swan.” Stiles burst out, and Derek flinched at the pitch of the human's voice.

The female health professional looked at Derek with raised eyebrows. “Perhaps if you are interested in moving forward with another surrogate, one that hasn't just experienced miscarriage, we could cons---”

“No,” He cut her off sharply before adjusting his tone, “I'm sorry, Dr. Swan, but it has to be Stiles.”

Derek didn't even want to think about finding another surrogate; he'd had a hard enough time finding Stiles, and he hadn't even found him through conventional methods. He knew how little his chances were of coming across another surrogate he could put up with, and his wolf could stand. Stiles was his diamond in the rough, and Derek would be damned if he'd find another surrogate half as good as Stiles.

Dr. Swan sighed impatiently, “Well, it goes against every protocol I've been trained to follow, as well as my own gut instincts, but if you are positive that this is what you want to do and you sign a release form, we can move on with taking steps toward another pregnancy for Stiles' next fertile period. Which, if the miscarriage hasn't messed up his cycle, should be around the beginning of November, if I'm not mistaken.” She picked up the folder and flipped through the file, quickly perusing its contents before announcing, “November 8th is when his next ovulation period is if the miscarriage hasn't messed up his cycle, as they've been known to do.

“However, I want you both to see a grief counselor and have them fax me their analysis to see if you are both psychologically stable enough to begin another round of treatments. This is nonnegotiable. If you do not agree, and your psychologist doesn't say that _both_ of you are capable of handling this so soon, I'm not going to go through with it and I'll make it clear that neither should any other doctor in this clinic, or any other hospital, for that matter. Understood?””

Stiles frowned, and seemed ready to argue, but Derek shook the OB/GYN/RE's hand and replied, “Yes, thank you, doctor. We appreciate you considering our wishes.”

“Thank you, Dr. Swan.” Stiles forced out, and Derek was proud that the younger man had managed to remain civil.

“This is for your own good, Stiles. I'm not doing this to harm you. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do.”

Derek trailed after Stiles as he started toward the door, but the OB/GYN/RE stopped them.

“If your grief counselor agrees that you're able to start conceiving, expect a call from the clinic so we can schedule another appointment to be positive that you're in the clear physically, and get you another prescription of patches and Dexamethasone.”

“Thank you.” Derek and Stiles quietly chorused in unison as they began to leave the room.

“You're welcome, and good luck to the both of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update will be in October after I've updated **"Through the Dark"**


End file.
